[kathryn]

Hi Paul , thanks for reminding me that no matter how long the clean time is, I must always keep up my awareness against this addiction. Thank you for sharing your story. K ***

[kathryn]

I’m in!!! 🙂

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Sherry, we took the maiden voyage on Sunday night, roared laughing the whole way, whooped down the hills and puffed up them, sooooo much fun, i forgot just how much…..it is true, you never forget!!!!
im busy at the moment, last weekend we went up to the Murray River camping, something i havent done for over 20 years, yep, a tent and everything!  I had a blast, where we stayed was absolutely magnificent, we are already planning our next trip up there this time next year.  I cant believe i waited this long to camp, i will, however be buying a new matress, i was walking like frankenstein on Sunday morning!!! Talk about stiff and sore!!!  It is amazing just how relaxed you can get when you have nothing to do but relax!!!  My tent was the palace and my bannana lounge the throne!!!!
So easter is coming and im off for 4 nights to my lovely Daylesford that i go to every year with my family, im looking forward to more relaxation and spa attending!!!  We are on a tight budget so ill be doing a lot of things that dont cost a lot, there is a beautiful lake to walk around, feeding the ducks, enjoying the view and the fresh air, spending time with my family, especially my mum, im not sure how many Daylesford’s she has left so i must make the most of them. 
Everything else in my world is ok.  Sure, there are problems, there are things i need to work on, we have a bit of pressure to save for the big trip in July, im getting nervous that we wont have enough money, i am fortunate though that my mind is not straying to gambling, i know it will just make the problems bigger.  My husband is still betting, i have managed to take the last access to cash that he has, well, he handed it to me,  so at least the accounts are safe.  I still am unsure just how bad he is, time will tell.  I love him and will do what i need to help him if it comes to that.
Well, thats about all for now,
Happy Easter my lovely friends,
K xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Happy Birthday my friend,
We have been through good, bad, happy and sad times, i am so blessed to have such a special person in my life and i wish you every happiness on your special day!!
Love always,
K xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi B,
I guess it doesnt matter what kind of recovery we are working on there can be glitches,
Hope your arm is feeling better soon, i cant remember the last time we chatted, i miss the laughs!
Anyway, thinking of you this morning, a lovely 25c today, praise be, the heat seems to be gone!!!!!
Im going to sit with my mammy this morning, step dad is at the market and she just cant be on her own for that long.  We might even go for a coffee!!!
Love you girl,
K xxxx
 To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi All,
Thank you for posting, Lizbeth, it means a lot to me, lovely P, i often think of our day out together, Neva, yes, you got his name right!!!!!
So, not a lot to report, things have calmed down on the home front, proboably because i tend to let things go very quickly, im quick to temper, but also quick to get over things.  I did however get home tonight to a messy house (i worked overtime), no dinner and everyone asking what was for tea…..what the???? I said to Dames that i didnt live here on my own and i wasnt a single mother!!!
I went and got take away for the boys and when i came back the washing was on and he was organising dinner.  So something sunk in!!!  Ill take what i can, i get tired of growling all the time and i dont think i should have to ask, but…..that was a very small minute of my day and really no biggie.
We are going camping next weekend.  My sister in law and her family is scattering her fathers ashes up by the Murray river and it has sort of become a 2 day party (which her dad would love).  I havent slept in a tent for at least 15 years so that should be interesting.  The only bonus is that Dames has everything that opens and shuts due to his love of camping.  I am really looking forward to it, there will be about 70 people so it should be a good time.
The week after that we make our annual trek to Daylesford with my sister and my mum for a week.  We go easter Tuesday and get home on the Saturday. If anyone remembers from last year i spent a week at the spa, something i am eager to repeat!!!
Lastly we have booked our big holiday to Fiji at the end of July.  I booked the flights and i got an email yesterday saying that it had been cancelled and re booked for 2 days later…..hmmmm.  I called them and they said that they would put us up in a hotel with all meals supplied at their expense….SCORE!!! An extra 2 days for free, i love it.  Im not sure what the hotel will be like but we arent looking a gift horse in the mouth, who knows, that 2 days may just be amazing.
So really, i had a bit more to report than i thought, talk about holidays!!!  Lots to look forward to, lots to save for, lots to organise……how could i possibly have time to even think of gambling!!!!  Mind you, small niggle the other night, quickly dismissed and didnt like that feeling, havent had an urge for a long time so it just shows that when i stress out that monster rears its ugly head looking for a feed…….
Hope you are all well my friends…..
Love K xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Thanks Sherry,
So stuff going on with hubby, poor thing, he has nothing, woah is me, i hate everybody, my life is sooooo hard.
We are tiptoeing around this house, its making me crazy.  I dont know what is happening with him as his communication skills are…….non existent!
Not sure how to tackle this one.  I do know that im not putting up with this for much longer.  Mid life crisis?  Gambling hangover? (im trying not to read too much into that as people tend to think im over reacting…..just because im a cg…blah blah blah!!!)
He is bringing the mood down in this house.  Im tired of expecting that perhaps we could have a nice morning out (yesterday) only to have him sulk when we couldnt afford what he wanted and not speak for 2 hours….. made the grocery shop mighty uncomfortable!!!!
Hes not blaming my addiction, we have been down that road and i said the next time would be the last. 
Im tired.  I dont deserve this and neither do the kids.  There is going to have to be a showdown.  No amount of ‘talking’ is going to make 1 iota of difference.  I dont want to scream, its too exhausting.  If i cry, well, ill be labelled a sooky la la.  Ugh.
What to do?
K xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

***** Miss P,
No post for a while so i thought id bring you to the top……..
Hope all is well with you,
Post soon,
Love K ***
 To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi Jonathan,
I watched your trailer and i have to say, thankfully im a few years into recovery.  I found it to be perhaps triggering for someone who has just made the decision to stop gambling.
In saying that, well done on tackling your addiction, it is hard for people who arent cgs to understand just how our mind works whilst in the grips of this addiction, i hope they gain some understanding from your documentary.
I hope you do well Jonathon, and congratulations on your gamble free time
Take care, K xTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Great post Uncontrolled,
Velvet is an intergal part of this community, she gives insight and understanding from a different perspective.  Velvet, i hope you realise just how appreciated you are here, a beautiful soul, a beautiful person, a friend to all.
We are so very blessed.  I am so very very blessed to have you in my life, giving support, being a shoulder to cry on, someone to laugh with and i know you always have the kettle on!!!!!!
Love to you my friend,
K xxxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hiya Jason,
Great update, its lovely to read something so positive from you!!!!!
Hope to read more in the future, thanks for sharing,
Love K xxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Hi Nitenurse and welcome.
You will get loads of support here…….
I am the compulsive gambler in my home, i have been gamble free for over 3 years now.  I can, however remember  when i first stopped.  One of my very first posts here was titled "day 3 and im angry"!!!!!
I dont know how long your husband has stopped gambling for, i do however remember that feeling of rage.  I wanted to gamble and i couldnt, the addiction in me was being starved.  I didnt realise that i was withdrawing, and that is exactly what it was.  Like a **** or alcohol addict, i was going through the same pain.
I felt a bit better knowing there was a reason for my anger, i had not been able to control it and i didnt know why it was happening.  I was a screaming banchee!!!!!
This addiction is horrific.  It sucks out your soul.  I got help.  I talked about it with the people here who were wonderful.  I see my addiction now as a scowling beast in the corner of my mind just waiting for an opportunity.  I refuse to feed it.  I refuse to give it an inch because i know it will take a mile, and then some.
Im not making excuses for your husband.  I just know what happened to me, it is a process.  It takes a long time for us to hit bottom and its no walk in the park to find the person we were before gambling entered our life. 
I hope your husband is getting help, he ***** to work through it and talking always helps even though we may not think so at the time……..
The same goes for you nitenurse, you have been living with this addiction too, as have your children.  You need support, you need to ensure your finances are safe.
There is hope.  There is light at the end of the tunnel, if he is prepared to be open to the possibilities and do the work required to manage this addiction.
I look forward to reading more from you,
Love K ****
To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan– 8/03/2013 10:48:31 AM: post edited by Kathryn.

[kathryn]

Unbelieveable, snowing for you, hot and humid for me, we are in our 3rd week of heat, only 1 day under 30c in that time and apparently next week is much of the same…….i am sick to death of sweat my friend, it gets in unmentionable place to make life soooooooo uncomfortable…..(i call it the chang!!!!) ewwwwwwwww!!!!!
Hope you are recovering well, ill keep you in my thoughts,
Love K xxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

Lisbeth,
Lifes problems seem small compared to what you and your family are going through.  When someone is dying the stress and constant worry is horrific, life seems to come to a stand still and yet others around us keep on living and doing the same things we always did.  I am so pleased to read of your daughters progress in her own recovery.  It seems your family is coming together, which can be such a blessing.  Lizbeth, i cant do much but i want you to  know that i think of you almost every day.  
You are an amazing woman, i am honoured and blessed to know you.
Im happy to read your husband is pain free.  Remember to be kind to yourself,  you are going through this too.
Love to you,
Kathryn *****
 To live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[kathryn]

I know you can do it P,
Use the tools you have learnt here, they really do work…..
Im glad to be back, my password wasnt working and i thought it was my computer…..duh!!!!!!
Love K xxxxTo live, that would be a great adventure – Peter Pan

[Author]

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