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I just wanted to post to let you know that things do get easier.
Working recovery everyday really makes a difference. Posting and reading here can be a great resource. Put up barriers, get someone to help you with your day to day financials and be accountable for what you spend.
We will always be cg’s. Always.
You can live a gamble free life. I’m not saying its easy, but its definitely worth it. Things will ease in time, pressures will lessen and your brain will not be all consumed by this addiction.
Take care, K xxHi Jonny,
Congratulations on your gamble free time!
I read the above post where you said you aren’t doing anything in terms of recovery except not gambling.
Has that changed?
I guess, like anything painful, as time goes on we forget the pain, it lessens in time so I suppose what I want to say is that maybe, while you’re in a better head space its time to put some barriers up. This addiction can rear its head at any time, making sure your barriers are up ensure that if you do get an urge, you are protected.
In saying that, we all work differently, what works for some doesn’t work for others.
Again, congratulations……
Take care, K xxHey there,
I’m sorry you have found yourself in this situation but am happy you have found this site.
While my poison of choice is different to yours, the outcome is the same….devastation!
So, I guess I thought I could maybe give you a few ideas that might help you.
I am in Australia, so things don’t work quite the same as the UK, I’m not well read on exclusion over there but that is something that has really helped me. If you can do it….do it!
Its a great barrier.
Have you got someone you could talk to? That could perhaps take hold of your money for a while? That could maybe give you a daily allowance for just what you need? Its a hard thing to do, but no money = no gambling. Means and opportunity are our worst enemy. Trying to fill your time with something else (I used this site in the early days) can help overcome an urge and give you time to think things through. It can really help.
So theres a couple of ideas, what you do with them is up to you. In the end the only person who can help you is you. You can live a gamble free life, its not an easy road, but you have taken the first step and well done for that.
Keep reading and posting, it really does help.
Take care, K xxIve just read right through your thread.
Firstly well done on that blocker, yes, there was a little blip there, it really does come down to means and opportunity and I was happy to read you have ensured there is no more opportunities on your phone!
I agree with what you say about still wanting to gamble, ive never really thought about it that hard before but you are right. ….. having the barriers are such a help. Because you KNOW you cant do it, you tend to think about something else. What a godsend really!!!! In saying that, I’m sure people find other ways…..me, I’m too lazy to look for them not to mention too busy! I often wonder where I found the time to spend those countless hours in a venue. I guess I didn’t sleep very much back then, out late at night and just functioning in the morning….ugh.
Busy is good. I have a trip booked with my best friend for October, we have both taken on extra work to pay for some of it and our motto at the moment is ‘no one ever died from being tired’ (well, unless you fall asleep at the wheel of a car or something) along with ‘we will sleep when we are dead’!
My life is a bit overwhelming at the moment, with work, home, my daughter is about to have a baby, trying to plan this trip etc. Usually I would run to the venue and zombie out. Too much for my brain to process so lets just gamble and not think about it…which in turn gives me more stress, a constant sick feeling in my stomach, headaches and eyes that look like 2 spoons of jam (that’s Veras description, very accurate!! lol).
When I first stopped gambling I remember posting about not knowing what to do because I didn’t feel sick anymore and I had been feeling sick for so long it felt abnormal not to feel sick! How warped is that!
Anyway, my point (if there is one) is that my exclusion barrier has given me my life back.
Whatever works….we are all different and I think we just need to find our own way towards recovery. Thankfully this site (and others) gives us some guidance on how to do that. I guess its just a matter of whether we are ready to take it on board and actually take action. I think I may be babbling here!!! I really just wanted to say hi, to say that I’m following your journey and I am happy you are doing what you need to for your recovery.
Take care, K xxxxOh girl, I hope your back is on the mend. Totally debilitating!!!!!
141 days until my trip, it is literally the only thing that is keeping me alive at the moment.
Jode and I have taken on running the canteen at our local football club, they are paying us and it is all going towards our holiday, in fact, what we earn is paying our NYC accommodation so we felt it was worth it. 9 days out of our lives….all good in theory.
So we start at 6am and finish around 6pm and it is flat chat the whole time we are there. We really aren’t getting paid a lot if you break it down to an hourly rate….but…..its New York!!!!!
My exclusion is now in place, done and dusted. When the man took the photo of me he took it on his phone. Well, he had the damn thing sooooo close to my face you could see every little pore (and proboably hair on my chin lol), it was horrific!!!!!
The price I pay for my sanity…..worth every bit!!!
Anyway, just wanted to touch base with you, as I said before I hope your back is on the mend, take care my lovely friend.
Love K xxxxxxxxxHi Hammo,
Firstly well done!
Keep doing what you are doing, its obviously working.
I agree, what a lovely feeling to not have those ever constant gambling urges whispering in your ear.
The urges do lessen, and while I know that I will always be a compulsive gambler, I have put up enough barriers to keep myself safe.
It sounds to me that your girlfriend is being a great support to you. It must have been difficult to tell her, when I told my husband I though I was going to be physically sick. Thankfully he supported me, took over the finances (for a while) and we are finally living a ‘real’ life.
I’m going to be a grandmother in a few weeks, and I’m so grateful that my addiction will not be keeping me away from that baby!!!!!
I wish you all the best,
Love K xxxHi Sam,
While I have not been through the GM process (I’m in Australia) I just wanted to congratulate you on taking the steps you need to get well.
Also, well done on the almost month!! woohoo!!!!!!!
Take care, K xxWe must have been posting at the same time…..
Our secrets keep us sick.
Maybe there is a friend you can talk to. It helps to be accountable to someone. Whether its $6000 or $6 million is irrelevant, if it is affecting your life, your well being and sanity there is a problem.
Take care, K xxxxHi Just26,
The time to take action is now!
While you are feeling low. Put up some barriers.
I know you are in shock, these feeling will subside however so now is the time to do something to ensure you are safe.
The first thing that comes to mind, which is probably the hardest thing to do is tell your partner. You need to limit your access to cash. No money = no gambling. Could your partner take hold of your accounts?
You are 26…..with your whole life in front of you. Don’t let this addiction take over your life. Theres too much to lose. You have made a brave step coming here, its not easy to admit you have a problem, tackling it now and getting barriers in place will ensure this doesn’t escalate.
Use the helpline, its a wonderful source of support, suggestions, ideas on how to take a control back of your life.
The money………..its gone.
The sooner you realise that, the better. Cut your losses now.
Life is too short for a young girl like you to be wasting it gambling. Keep reading and posting.
Take care, K xxxHi Laura,
I never stole money from my kids (they didn’t have any!)
When I do think about what I stole from them the list is a long and painful one……
Time with me
Food in their bellies ……(I spent the grocery money on many many occasions)
My attention (I’m not sure I can name a single thing we talked about when they were little, my brain was too busy scheming to gamble)
Christmas…..the cheapest, crapest, thoughtless presents for quite a few years (id spent all the present money)
Birthdays….as above
Cuddles…..too busy
Kisses…..too busy
Love….. too busy
There’s many ways I have stolen from the ones I love.
I can never get that back, I can never give back what I took.
We have today to make positive choices. We have tomorrow to look forward to. Every day is a new beginning.
Yep, you stuffed up Laura.
You came here and admitted it, and I admire you so much for that, for your honesty. That must have been a hard post to write.
You can do this Laura.
Love K xxxI wasn’t sure where to post to you.
I have missed you so much.
Your words of wisdom, the ability to project calm.
I have posted tonight because I gambled.
Ive been away a long time and so much has happened.
A lot of happiness for sure.
My mum has faded to a lady who doesn’t recognise me any more. Breaks my heart every time. Still I go, sometimes she is happy and chats away, other times she tells me to go away. Never sure what I am going to get. Still I go.
Brea is due for her baby in 6.5 weeks, I have her baby shower tomorrow. A little grandson (yep she found out) for me to love.
Jode is still my bestie, and we are taking the holiday of a lifetime in October to the USA. Knowing me as you do I’m sure you can imagine my excitement. In saying that, we have taken on a few extra jobs to pay for it and boy have we been tired, but it will all be worth it.
Ok, I read your post……..heres an interesting addition, I have 3 sisters and 1 brother. One sister died almost 16 years ago but….she was a compulsive gambler, my other sister is a compulsive gambler who has been managing her addiction for over 15 years. My other sister is more of a binge gambler but is addicted to other substances, and my brother doesn’t gamble at all. All the girls in the family have had addiction issues. I often wonder if we got the gene (if there is one) from our dad who was addicted to smoking and drinking and I’m not sure what else…. Food for thought? Or maybe just bad luck? Who knows. It doesn’t really matter does it? I can only work on me.
I truly hope that you are well and happy.
An angel on earth.
Love K xxxI gambled tonight.
I am a cg. And always will be. Who did I think I was? A “normal” person? What a joke.
So, I’m putting those barriers back up before things get really out of control.
Just wanted to know that I think of you more than you know.
I’m going to NYC in October, so close my friend.
I often think of our coffees on your porch.
Keep going. Its all any of us can do.
Love you loads, K xxxWell done!
What a great feeling to start something.
Even better feeling to finish it!!!!!
Gambling sure does suck the motivation out of us. I would sit, and eat. That’s pretty much it! Too focused on planning the next chance I would get to hit that venue.
The time we lose gambling is unbelieveable. I cannot imagine the hours I wasted, if I added them up. Not just the action of it, but the planning, the scheming, the all consuming thoughts that never went away.
These small steps are the start.
One step at a time.
One room at a time.
One day at a time!
Have a great day!!!!
Love k xxx