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Just checking in with you.
Saturday morning here, I have done my week with Brea so back to work on Monday, I’m not sure how I will function not seeing that little boy every day! Thankfully she is the snapchat queen and hopefully she will send me plenty.
Dames is working, so I’m here in my dressing gown, coffee on the desk having a lazy morning. Ive just finished making a big pot of soup which is delicious, winter weather here calls for it!
Dames is going out tonight, its the wetting of the babys head at some german restaurant thing. I’m sure he will have a great time, I’m the driver/taxi for the night so very quiet one for me.
So the next big thing in my life is this trip to the USA. We have 3 more football canteens to do, 3 in a row starting next weekend which we are dreading but it really will be worth it, we have made decent money out of it, but if they want us next year we will be asking for more. We had no idea how much work went into it. We have decided that if it comes to pass we will put that money into our joint account and save for another trip in about 4 years time (maybe Europe) I’m not jumping the gun though, we shall see.
I’m happy to see you aren’t gambling, your poor back though, jeez, I get a little sore back sometimes, I cannot imagine living with your pain. I hope that something happens for you soon, it sounds like your public medical system is a lot like ours, theres long waiting lists for things like backs, hips and knees. Frustrating for sure.
Anyway, just wanted to say hi (that was a really long hi…lol)
My coffee cup is empty, time to refill!!!!
Take care my lovely friend,
Love K xxxHow are you doing?
I’m so sorry about your husband.
My daughter has just had her first baby, my first grandchild.
It is a feeling I have never felt before, being a granny rocks!
You can do this Twnmum. Time to end this viscous cycle of hate and despair and begin to live again. You have so much to live for.
You need to get your barriers up, ask for help from people you know and trust, they may not understand it, but you need major support right now. What about GA? This forum is brilliant and saved my life, keep posting and reading, it all helps and fills extra time.
The urge to gamble becomes easier to control when you stop. When you put barriers up. You have taken a great step in coming here and admitting your addiction, now is the time to start walking the road of recovery. You deserve it. The money is gone, acceptance of that is so difficult but necessary. You need to start over, start fresh.
Tomorrow is a new day, the past is past and cannot be changed, gambling will only make things worse.
I thought I could never ever stop.
Lost my home and almost everyone that was dear to me.
I wont say its easy, and Its no bed of roses when you have some gamble free time under your belt but…….
Your mind will become clearer, the fog will lift and you will see things differently. You can enjoy small things, and appreciate whats right in front of you.
Gambling will only bring you pain.
I hope you are doing ok.
Drop a line when you are able.
Take care, Love K xxI agree, the forum is very quiet. When I joined many years ago it was a hive of activity, I’m. It sure what’s happened. In saying that, as the years went by for me I did post less and less. I’m trying to be more proactive in my recovery, for others but mostly for myself. I’m happy to read you are doing so well. I always say it’s like having a baby, stopping gambling….you forget how much it hurts!!! Keep up the good work, and keep posting, maybe we can wake this forum up!!!
Love, K xxIsnt it amazing how the urges to gamble lessen when you stop, the longer you stop the lesser they get!
I don’t know how I ever found the time!!!
So happy to read you are doing well, keep making that good choice every day!!
Take care, K xI know things seem impossible right now, but you can fight this addiction.
Could you tell your girlfriend, before she finds out another way? Maybe she can then take your cards etc to limit your access to money?
You can live without gambling, its not easy, but with work you can regain your life.
Use this site as much as you need to, theres lots of support out there.
Self exclusion from the online sites can help, I’m not sure where you are but there are many blockers for your computer to limit your access to these sites.
Take care, and keep posting.
Love K xPaul is right, you aren’t alone.
Theres things you can do to help, and in time the urges will decrease in strength.
Ban…..from casinos, online, whatever you need to. Make it hard for yourself to gamble.
Can you talk to someone about it? Someone who may take control of your finances for a while, so that you can have space to breathe and no money = no gambling.
Use this site, the forum, the helpline and the groups. There are people from all stages of recovery, who can give you some ideas that you may not have thought of.
You are the only one who can stop this and start to live again, but there is tons of support, if you want it.
I wish you well,
Love K xxxHow did the exclusion go?
If you cant access the sites, you cant gamble, therefore thinking about it becomes less and less as you think of other things to fill your time (and mind)
Try to keep busy, its difficult at first I know, but it will get easier.
Take care K xxGreat progress!
This site saved my life. I absolutely believe that.
You are right, it isn’t easy, even 8 years later.
And yes, it is possible. And life starts to take over addiction.
What a beautiful life it is.
Take care, K xI was bought up to believe in God.
It was drummed into me daily at school and at church every Sunday.
When my father died I told God to go take a long walk off a short pier.
I have never been able to regain my faith, and I am truly envious of people who have it.
You are truly blessed.
Love K xxxThe reason you came to this site is to stop gambling.
I cant quite understand your thinking, why would you go back and take that money out? Will you take it out? Gamblers minds are very sneaky. Maybe you will just win a little bit more? Then a little bit more? Until you are right back where you started but worse off because you deposited more into that account instead of excluding like you say you will. Our addiction brings us nothing but pain, suffering and heartache. You have made a big step coming here and admitting you need help. Please think twice before going back. Is it really truly worth it?
Your life will get better when you stop gambling. If you cant access the sites, and you cant access money that’s a great start.
You deserve a good and happy life.
You will never get that by gambling.
It sucks out your soul and makes you someone you despise.
I look forward to reading more about your story.
Love K xxI hope your back is feeling better. I am sitting here with the heat pack on mine at the moment, it is nothing on what you have got but a sore back is absolute crap!!!!!
No baby yet. I’m starting to think she isn’t even pregnant, maybe she has a big pillow under her tops cause it feels like that child is never going to enter the world, or maybe he will do so with spirit fingers wiggling, screeching ‘I’m here!!!!’ Already making an entrance!!! LOL
She had acupuncture on her back yesterday and they hooked it up to some electric thing to try and get him moving. She said he was squirming like anything, I’m sure hes in there going ‘nup, its too bloody cold out there!!!’
I’m getting a little bit of time off (not much) but I want to try and help her as much as I can.
Anyway girlfriend,
Just wanted to check in,
Hope the Jacks Crack is feeling better!!!!
Love K xxxxxxxWishing you well my friend,
Living, the greatest adventure of them all!!!!!
Its been wonderful reading your posts, becoming so positive and full of hope.
Gambling will only bring us pain.
You can do this, in fact….you are!
Take care, K xxJust checking in on how you are doing?
You can live a gamble free life, coming to this site is certainly a great start.
Read and post to others, it all helps, not only getting some new ideas on how to stop, but to fill your time.
Its not an easy road we take, but its worth it!
Take care, K xFirstly, congratulations on your gamble free time, a day without gambling is a good day for sure!
nWith regards to your wife. I have no idea how she is feeling, I wouldn’t pretend to know. In saying that I can reflect on what happened with my husband. Our stories are slightly different in that he did not leave. BUT there was a lot….a lot of mistrust. Rightfully so too. I could not be trusted with money. My self excluding from all gambling venues within an hours drive from my home has eased that worry.
nI’m wondering if your wife is going through a grieving process of sorts. I’m sure the loss of money has been hard for her to take, but I have a feeling that its the lies that have hit her the hardest.
nWhen we stop gambling we feel euphoric. Finally, the jig is up and we can no longer hide what we have been doing. A massive weight is lifted off our shoulders.
nPerhaps, for your wife, she feels that the burden has been put on her shoulders. And I’m sure that it is totally exhausting. Having the children to look after, then the responsibility of dealing with your mess. (sorry if that sounds harsh, I’m going on my experience here).
nYou said it yourself, the day she found out was one of the best days of your life. And for her, well I’m sure it was one of the worst.
nWhile we have to work on our own recovery, I believe there is a certain amount of leaning we have to do on others. To vent, cry, whatever it is we need to do.
nI’m not sure that your wife has abandoned you emotionally, I just wonder if she just hasn’t got any more to give right now. She needs support just as much as you. And as velvet posted, I do hope she finds her way to the friends and family forum here, not only will she learn more about how this addiction sucks out our soul, but I’m sure she will get some brilliant advice on how to deal with her own emotions. I’m only guessing here, but perhaps she NEEDS to know why you gambled, unfortunately that’s not always something we know. I certainly don’t. I know why I went there, but how I ended up a CG I will never know. Ive let that go.
nMaybe you can let your wife know that you are there for her, anytime, for anything. She might just need to step back and process whats happened, it must have been a terrible shock for her. Time can be our friend. Remember, keep working your recovery, you are doing great!!!!!
nI’m not sure if I have helped you at all, but I have heard you. I hope things work out, please keep posting and reading, it does help a lot to be able to write down your thoughts.
nI wish you all the best.
nK xПривет, почти, молодец, сделав первый шаг в своем выздоровлении. Это, конечно, непросто. Возможно, вы могли бы создать свою собственную тему (ветку), чтобы люди могли читать и отвечать вам, а вы могли рассказать свою историю. Для меня это звучит слишком знакомо – лживое, подкрадывающееся поведение заядлого игрока. Я не уверен, где вы находитесь, но такие вещи, как самоисключение, передача ваших дебетовых карт мужу и предоставление ему контроля над финансами (я знаю, что это сложный вопрос), посещение GA, а также чтение и публикация здесь, все это может помочь вам найти жизнь, в которой азартные игры больше не являются правилом. Вы можете вернуть свою жизнь. Это непросто, на самом деле это действительно тяжелая работа, это не произойдет за один день, но со временем вы можете жить жизнью, свободной от азартных игр. Я надеюсь, что вы начнете свою собственную тему и получите заслуженную поддержку. Береги себя K x