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I don’t know what to say.
But I heard you.
And I truly wish you the peace you so deserve.
All you can do is keep on battling.
Please give yourself a little bit of love, just a little.
Take care,
Love K xxBrave step telling your girlfriend,
Its not an easy thing to do. I’m glad you have found this site, I found it over 8 years ago and it has been a true lifeline for me.
Having your girlfriend help you with your finances will really make a difference. Being accountable to someone will actually give you a bit of breathing space.
Pokies are also my poison…..and like you I started off with a bit of fun that spiralled into a nightmare.
Take all the help you can get, keep reading and posting, maybe a GA meeting, join the groups here, it all helps you work towards recovery.
I wish you all the best and look forward to reading more from you.
Love K xxJust a little Gday to you from down under!!!!
Drop a line when you get a chance.
Hope you are well and happy,
Love KxxxxBrilliant that you recognise exactly what happened to cause your relapse.
I guess you now know what you need to do.
You have had some gamble free time, don’t beat yourself up too much, move on and start over.
I first excluded from gambling venues 8 years ago. In that time I have had maybe 6 ‘slips’ (I hate that word but I don’t know a better one) Each time I have let my exclusion lapse as we can only renew every 2 years.
Every time I entered a venue during that time I felt physically sick. But I still gambled. Thankfully not too much damage was done to the bank account, my self worth and sanity however………
Its just not worth it.
Take care,
Love K xxJust wanted to check in.
Hope all is well.
Your days are adding up.
Great work.
Love K xxxWell its about time!!!!!
If only all countries do this.
I’m one of the lucky ones, I’m excluded from over 100 venues all within a 2.5 hr drive. I was able to do this in 15 minutes.
Every bit helps!
Love K xxxHave you spoken to your wife about how you are feeling?
I’m would imagine she might see things a bit differently.
I cant help but wonder…..
Are you certain the addiction is not telling you your wife would be better off without you, then you could go gamble yourself into oblivion? No accountability?
I understand you don’t want to let her down. So, don’t!
Work hard every day, work hard today, do what you need to ensure you don’t gamble. Barriers up!!!!!!
20 years is long enough my friend.
This addiction has had a hold on you for too long. Its time for you to take back your life.
You’re worth it.
Love K xxxYou will never be judged here…….ever!
May I suggest something?
Ive always believed that knowledge is power. Learning about compulsive gambling, how it controls the gambler, their money, their behaviour, their moods, their warped way of thinking, their life……arming yourself with this knowledge could help you. It is so difficult for a non compulsive gambler to understand how we think (I’m talking about me here), how all logic goes flying out the window, how we justify to ourselves spending that money, that learning how this addiction ‘works’ could help you avoid situations that are difficult to manage/cope with.
Unfortunately the only person who can help your boyfriend with his addiction is him. He has to be the one to make the hard decisions and do the hard work to stop gambling and regain control of his life.
For you, arming yourself with the knowledge of compulsive gambling could give you the benefit of being able to read situations that may be about to escalate.
You cannot make him stop gambling, but you can deal with situations better…for you and your son.
I can see how stressed you are.
Your boyfriend doesn’t care. His addiction wont let him.
All he wants to do right now is gamble, his mind is full of gambling thoughts, how, when, where……..nothing else can get in. His mind is blocked from logical thinking.
All I can suggest, is that you give him no money. Don’t enable him to gamble. I’m sure he will find a way on his own but if you can, make it as hard as possible.
Take care,
Love K xxxWelcome, I’m sorry you had the need to find this site but I’m happy you found it!
I think most of us started gambling for a bit of fun.
Unfortunately we have found ourselves in big trouble, like yourself.
So what can you do?
There is no cure for compulsive gambling, but there are things you can do to help yourself and lead a life free of it.
I’m not sure what you bet on…..but excluding yourself from any casinos, phone apps, online gambling can help. If you cant access gambling, you cant gamble.
Same goes for your money. No money = no gambling, so if you can, talk to someone close to you that would be willing to help you with your spending. Taking your access to cash and giving you a small allowance can make life easier to deal with. GA meetings and talking here can help too, the support groups are wonderful and the helpline can give you some very sound advice.
Its not easy by any means. You can do it. Take all the help you can, and as time goes on the gambling urges will lessen, giving you the life you want.
Take care, K xxxJust checking in on you.
I hope you are doing ok.
Compulsive gamblers who keep gambling only get worse.
The money is just the means to do it.
We never ever stop until its all gone. I could walk out of a venue with money, only to lose it all and more the next day.
Keep reading and posting, it really does help and as time goes on, the urges will lessen as you become more able to deal with them.
Take care, Kathryn xxJust wanted to say a quick Gday!!!!
The last week for me has been a bit crazy, finally sitting down to a hot coffee and some me time on the computer.
Money WILL get better. Woudnt life be amazing without it, although we would be trading in coconuts or something so I guess nothing would really change!!!!
If I am ever round your way…..the pint is on me!!!!!
Take care, love K xxxPlease don’t take that money out, you said it yourself, you will end up naked in the street. You will never ever win, EVER!!!
No win is ever enough for a compulsive gambler.
Have you got someone you can talk to, now? Get them to take away your access to money, be it take your card, book, whatever it is you use to access money?
Are you under age to go to the casino? Why did you steal your brothers ID?
You went for 4 months gamble free, a terrific achievement, perhaps its time you put up extra barriers, to keep you safe and ensure this doesn’t happen again. Is there a GA in your area? There are some very helpful people there who understand exactly how you are feeling.
Try and join some group chats here. You are definitely not alone Camarami, but this is your journey to take, and how you do that is up to you.
Using all the advice you are given, posting and reading here, GA, personal counselling, becoming accountable to a friend or family member you can trust, self excluding from the venues you gamble in, all these things can help keep you safe and let you work recovery.
There is life after gambling.
Its not easy, but it can be done.
I hope to read more from you, welcome again.
Love K xxxOh well done on taking the steps you need to protect yourself.
I’m sorry your holiday didn’t go as well as you planned.
When I stopped gambling, it wasn’t because of something major, I just became sick and tired, just like you.
I finally found the strength to get my barriers up and get of the rollercoaster.
My favourite saying is ‘to live, that would be a great adventure’.
Its true.
I am living. I am happy (for the most part! lol)
Its your time. Keep posting, keep working on your recovery. This addiction will always be there. Over 8 years and I still have days. My exclusion prevents me from acting. This site keeps me sane and grounded.
So happy to read you have taken such positive steps for yourself.
Take care, K xxI’m so sorry you are stuck in this rut…..
I know you will work your way out of it, its damn hard to do though, maybe start with something small, do something nice for your wife and kids, not only will they love it, but you will feel better about yourself too!!!!! It doesn’t have to cost very much, a picnic in the park (its summer there is it not?)
Maybe some fresh air will do you all some good?
Then a movie night with fish and chips. Family day.
49 days gamble free.
I remember thinking my life would be all roses if stopped gambling. Now I know……its definitely not, but its a hell of a lot easier to deal with without that gambling monster on my shoulder.
Chin up my friend, deep breaths and small steps.
Love K xxxxI think I posted on the wrong thread!
I’m sorry about that!!!!
I was thinking about you a lot today.
Love K x