[kathryn]

Great idea!!!!! How long is it blocked for?
Hope you are feeling ok, I sense a bit of hope going on there??
I am currently sitting at my computer with my coffee and a little plastic sucker thing…..lol, it helps with smoking cravings.
Day 5…..so far so good!!!!
Love K xxxxx

[kathryn]

WOW…….I was a cleaner for 15 years, scrubbed at least 80 toilets a day! Never once did I think that was a lowly job. Sure, it was bloody hard work, honest work that paid well.
Pooh to your sister. What a mean, nasty woman!!!!!!
I certainly hope she doesn’t work in customer service!!! I also hope she is perfect, those in glass houses!!!!
The best revenge is living well my friend, DO NOT let that woman send you back gambling!!!!! Imagine what the world would be like without cleaners! I am FURIOUS and I don’t even know her!!!!!
People like your sister and your mum like to make others feel sad/low/down to make themselves feel good. It says a lot about their own self esteem and self worth.
You are a good, kind, generous person Lizbeth, don’t let anyone take that away from you, not your mum, your sister, or those REVOLTING gambling venues!!! They don’t deserve it!!! You keep doing what you’re doing, and stuff anyone who feels they have the right to put down or make fun of you or what you do. Walk away, leave, tell them you are not putting up with it anymore before you slam the door on the way out. Leave them with their mouths gaping open.
Then go and buy yourself an icecream or a new top or a coffee with your hard earned money. Misery loves company……remember that!!!!
Rant over!!!!
Love love love K xxxxx

[kathryn]

So I had a lovely relaxing weekend away, sat on my butt pretty much the whole time.
On the drive home I realised something.
My ‘other’ addiction, smoking, had left me feeling a bit yuck
So I made the decision that I was going to stop.
And I did……..yesterday. So its day 2 for me. Oh boy.
Dames and Jode are in it with me, so hopefully we can do this. I have already cleaned the house and done the ironing this morning….for the record…I do not iron….EVER!
I have Tex for a few hours later on this morning so that will be a good time waster.
Planning a little trip into Kmart for a few bits and bobs this afternoon before I pick up Harry.
The concept is the same……fill those days.
On the up, I will be saving almost $900 a month…..how INSANE is that???? And if Dames does it too that will be doubled…….no wonder I have no money!!!!!
That in itself is incentive enough.
No gambling thoughts……im overwhelmed with the smoking ones right now (yes, im wearing a patch)
More posting for me as I wont be sitting in the shed giving myself the black lung. And no, I will NEVER be one of those reformed smokers that start on people who smoke.
So.…..one day at a time, in more ways than one!!!!
Take care friends,
Kathryn xxx

[kathryn]

Misery loves company im afraid.
Im glad you are not taking your mums issues on board. Sometimes a person will never be happy no matter what you do, so live your best life, for you!
I hope you have a great weekend,
Love K xx

[kathryn]

I think theres a bit of dysfunction in every family, its the degree that differs.
Im the youngest of 5, theres a really big gap between me and my 4 siblings. The middle sister doesn’t talk to my brother or younger sister, but was super close with my eldest sister. I, however get along with all of them. It can make for some very awkward conversations sometimes.
I don’t get it, and in truth, I don’t want to. Its all too hard and not something I can fix.
Im glad you got a small loan to tide you over, these days money is about the only thing that ever stresses me out, Damians work is not regular, so its difficult to plan for anything big just in case we need to use that money to see us through. Mind you, he seems to be only working the minimum hours these days, and that is starting to piss me off. I don’t see how we can ever get truly ahead when he is not taking every opportunity he can. Hes too busy wanting to get home to his mates, shed and cold beer. Frustrating!!!
Sorry, I didn’t mean to have that little rant then, I haven’t had the best weekend, we were going to go out for dinner but he arranged a shed full of his friends……in saying that, where I would usually be ropeable im surprisingly not. Harry would be proud to learn that I have taken on board his advice about unrealistic expectations and I will never again organise something with him on our own. I wont be hurt that way! Problem solved!!!!
Hope your weekend was a bit better than mine!!!!
Love K xx

[kathryn]

Well done on your gamble free time.
Having a support such as your gf is fantastic, being accountable is a big help in battling this addiction.
You seem to have found what works for you…..keep on keeping on!
This addiction will take your soul if you let it. Im happy to read such a positive post.
Hope to read more of your story,
Love K xxx

[kathryn]

Last weekend was a blast! Cher was amazing and although Jode and I were both quite sick we still managed to have a terrific time.
We went into daylight saving mode last sunday and it has taken me all week to adjust, which is ridiculous as we only lost 1 hour but you would think it was 10 I was soooooo tired.
The weather here is out of this world, 25 and sunny, absolutely beautiful. We are going on a little camping weekend next Saturday so I have spent this morning getting the camper ready. Ive already packed my clothes so all I need to worry about is a bit of food and that’s it. Weather will be much the same and we are going with Dames brother and his wife, who we spend a lot of time with. Im looking forward to it. No real gambling thoughts, ive been too stuffed and too busy to even think about it. It still, to this day, amazes me how I ever found the time to gamble. I suppose I went late at night, I would have been 10 times more tired than I am now. No gambling for me today. That’s all that matters.
Anyways, signing off, love K xxx

[kathryn]

Working from home sounds like a great solution for you at the moment. You don’t need the added stress!!!!!
Hope your mum is on the mend. Its been 8 months now since I lost my mum and I still talk to her everyday. Even though I KNOW she is gone, part of me feels like it was all just a bad dream!
Anyways, hope you get all your work done and have a little time to spend on yourself this weekend.
Love K xx

[kathryn]

Just wanted to welcome you.
That gambling hangover is horrendous!
Maybe its now time to put some barriers up to prevent it from happening again, and doing it while you are feeling low is the best time.
Is there anyone you can tell? I know it seems scary, but this addiction is progressive, and the sooner you start taking the steps necessary the better.
Its a hard thing to admit we have an addiction. Coming here is a wonderful step for you, so well done.
I hope you use the advice given, you can have a gamble free life.
Love K xxx

[kathryn]

Don’t put too much pressure on yourself.
We are only human and can only do so much.
Baby steps……..Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Love K xxx

[kathryn]

Seems it might be time to go back to your GP. Not all medication is the right one, its usually trial and error and if this one is giving you grief, then try something else.
No money is the best way not to gamble, although it makes the rest of your life pretty difficult and stressful.
All you can do is keep plugging, take happiness where you can and joy from the little things. Thanksgiving will work itself out, we don’t celebrate that here, but I love the idea of it.
Love K xxx

[kathryn]

Just a little update, we had a lovely weekend away. Be it very very cold but the fire was roaring, so hot in fact that I had to remove my coat!
So I have the next 3 days off. I am so excited, Jode and I are heading to the big smoke today (Melbourne) we have booked a hotel for 2 nights, and tonight we are going to see the one and only Cher!!!! I have packed my entire wardrobe for the trip, this includes 5 pairs of shoes…..5!!!!! Ridiculous I know but hey, why not?
Tomorrow night we have booked dinner at a piano bar in the city, it looks fantastic. We need this break, just her and I. In saying that, we both have shocking colds!!!! Poor Jode has lost her voice so I guess I will just have to sing doubly loud at Cher tonight for the both of us……lol
Would never ever have afforded this when I was in action.
Its times like this that I am so grateful for this site and all the help and advice I have received over the years. I got my life back, and I love it.
Apart from that, alls well in my world, kids, hubby, grandkids are all happy and healthy which is all that I can ask for.
So, I hope you are all doing ok,
Must go and get organised, I need to make sure I haven’t forgotten anything, not sure how that could be possible as almost everything I own is packed!!!!!!
Love K xxxxx

[kathryn]

Well look at you!!!!!
Your last post was full of positivity and I love it!
I hope the antidepressants help, my bestie started a low dose after her marriage broke up, it took her about 5 months to realise that she wasn’t feeling better and boy, have they made a difference!
How lovely that you could buy some clothes for your little grand daughter, what a nice feeling!
Lizbeth, reading your last post made me smile, things are looking up for you, and I am so so happy about that.
Work has obviously done you good my friend, given you a purpose, not to mention the extra $$. It makes a huge difference.
Enjoy sorting those beads…..you must have the patience of a saint!!!!
Love K xxx

[kathryn]

Firstly, the phone issue has been resolved. I was grasping at straws and managed to put the correct number in….phew!
I have had today off. Its been quite busy, ive just got home after leaving at 8.30 this morning. Looked after Tex for Brea while she went to see the accountant, then a little bit of grocery shopping and then I got my hair done, a 2 hour ordeal, 3 if I get it styled (which I didn’t today).
We are going away again tomorrow. It is the Australian rules grand final this weekend, Friday is a public holiday for everyone (god knows why but im taking it!). I managed to get a half day tomorrow, I will work in the morning after getting a lift with one of the other nurses, then Dames is picking me up from work all loaded up and we are off.
Its meant to be a glorious day tomorrow which im grateful for, its not easy to put up a camper trailer in high wind!!!!
We are off the grid this weekend so no power for heaters…..and the temp is going to drop dramatically. Ive got extra blankets etc and hopefully we wont be too cold, I hate the cold!!!!!
Anyway, there are a few of us going so it should be fun, big bonfire and good company.
Its a cheap weekend, some fuel and a little bit of food, everything else ive taken from home. Next week however, is a different story, but ill post on that later.
Take care all, have a lovely gamble free weekend,
Love K xx

[kathryn]

Congratulations on your gamble free time.
The forums here are great for keeping in touch, use them!
Im so happy to read of your life since you excluded. That has been a godsend for me also. In saying that, It doesn’t work for everyone so I feel very blessed its working for me.
Looking back, could you have imagined you would be where you are now? Something to be really proud of!
Hope to read more from you,
Love K xx

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