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Hi Kathryn,
I just read your story, and I hope you’re doing well. I wanted to write to you for your insight and perspective. My mom has been gambling since I was 13 years old, and even though I’m 36 now with 2 children of my own, I still get hung up and hurt by her.
I guess I’m wondering if there is anything I can say to her that will get through to her that we all feel like we’ve lost our mother?…or is it better to distance myself and protect my heart?….
I’m really feeling overwhelmed lately and feel like I’ve had a revolution about my mother. I feel like I need to forget the women and mom she used to be and see her as an addict so it doesn’t hurt so much when she lies and disappoints.
What is it like to be a mother with a gambling problem? Did you only see how your actions effected your girl once you quit?…Thank you so much, KathyHi Michelle,
It’s so hard to live with a gambler. I find it hard to express the hurt and emotional pain gambling has caused. My mother is a cg and I mourn all the time the mother I once had. She was kind, sweet, thoughtful and loving. And I’m sure beneath her nasty addiction still is. I’m in the process now (at 36years old) of trying to figure out how to live my life and not let her affect me emotionally. That’s why I found this forum today…. I hope you realize that it’s all just a horrible, nasty, soul stealing addiction and can heal and find your own happiness!Hi Joni,
My mother has been gambling very bad for over 22 years. She started when I was 13 years old. I have 4 younger sisters so I fell into this strange role of care taker/child. I can tell you this…gambling is a Monster of an addiction. My dad was an alcoholic and I’d choose that anyday over gambling. Your husband will lie to you and you’re right not to trust him. It’s so painful but the only thing you can do is move on. Teach your daughters that life and happiness is a choice. It will be hard but you can get out of the ‘nuclear cloud’ of your husbands addiction.
I realized that there is NOTHING I can do to stop my mother from gambling. She loves us still, but an addiction trumps everything. Gamblers will lie, steal, and it all becomes a ‘normal’ part of life. It’s so hard because they are not the people they used to be and you mourn for that person again…but until they SEEK help and truly get the root cause of the emotional/mental/ pain they are trying to ‘zone out’ and escape from, things won’t change. It’s Your choice of how your life goes. I hope you choose happiness and be true to yourself!
It’s SO hard not to take it personal but you CAN be happy again, just not while putting your energy into an addict. I hope you can move on and if you are thinking about suicide, please reach out…Take care