Bettie,
I am very new at trying to recover. But reading your post made me think of my favorite quote by Abraham Lincoln: "when you are in a hole, stop digging." This helps me because I think that no matter how bad I have made it for myself, I just need to quit digging. You have taken some positive steps with your life and you can only look at making the changes one day at a time. Sometimes the only action you can take is to just stop digging. I wish you well today Bettie and I hope that this site can bring healing for both of us.
Karly