[Just26]

So some time passed and I finally started getting over the shock of losing such a huge amount of money. Payday is next Friday and I am just about getting by. I was In the process of closing all betting accounts, I had one final confirmation email to send to william hill that I admit I never got round to. In my wisdom, I thought, what’s another £10 on the roulette machine. Why did I do that? Why am I causing so much pain for myself?

The worst thing possible could’ve happened with that £10 deposit. I actually won £2500 and talked myself into walking away at that point. This was on Friday night, so it would be about Tuesday before it actually reached my bank account. I then started getting into that dangerous way of thinking, telling myself that maybe I could actually win back that lost £6000. So I come home tonight and I reverse the withdrawal and low and behold it’s gone.

Where do I go from here? What do I do? I don’t know how to battle this and it’s causing me so much pain.

[Just26]

Hi RC,

Roulette is what got me, only just 2 days ago. I have never been a compulsive gambler – I out the odd football coupon on that usually loses and I never really feel the urge to chase my losses. The buzz is good when I get a small win, but it never escalated and I never got addicted. Until I found roulette.

A month back I lost 1500 in saving in about an hour on roulette. But the worst possible thing happened to me – I managed to win it all back. Phew I thought, close shave for me, I’m never touching those machines again I said. Fast forward a month to Thursday just gone. Boredom set in and a £10 deposit turned into a loss of £6000 that i dont really have. And what got me to that devastating loss? Thinking I could win it back like last time.

My experience is very short lived but has caused so much devastation. Hopefully some more experienced members will be on soon to share their thoughts.

I really hope it works out for you RC. These machines are the work of the devil. I’m finding that posting on here is helping me to recover from the shock and pain of what I’ve done, so I hope it helps you too. Good luck with your recovery!

[Just26]

Hi tfrsfos,

I guess I can’t offer you much from experience point of view, as I only joined yesterday having blown my savings of over £6000. But I just wanted to reach out to you to let you know that there are people going through the exact same feeling of shock, regret and shame that you are.

You hit the nail in the head on your first post – these things don’t happen to me. I’m that guy too, I thought I was above addiction and I’m slowly beginning to realise that this is absolutely not the case. I woke up this morning still feeling physically sick, I can’t look my partner in the eye because I can’t deal with the guilt I am feeling about keeping this dirty secret from him. But what I have done is spent the day analysing my finances and working out a plan. I’m slowly beginning to feel that there might just be a way out of this for me. It is going to take hard work and serious denial of some of the pleasures in life that I once enjoyed. I got myself into this mess and I’ll get myself out of it, you can too.

I know you’ve hit rock bottom but from the little experience I have had on this forum, there are some fantastically supportive people out there. Please keep visiting, I think we could really use each other’s help! 🙂

[Just26]

No friends close enough that i would trust with this devastating secret to be honest. I was hoping to use the online community as my source of support.

Okay so here’s my plan. These are my current debts as it stands:
Loan (20 months left) = 2000
Credit card = 6050

I currently have savings in an ISA of 1950.

My plan is to pay off part of the credit card with my savings taking it to 4100. Take out a loan for 6100 and pay all outstanding debt. My aim is to clear debt as quickly as possible, so I will pay monthly payments of 259 for 2 years. This leaves me with a disposable income after all bills paid of 532. This arrangement still allows me to save 350 per month which will give me 10800 of a house deposit for when me and my partner decide to move to a bigger place in around 3 years.

I like to have this all written out in front me to help me realise that this is possible. I have also deleted all betting apps on my phone and in the process of contacting them to have me excluded. I actually can’t believe it has come to this.

What do you think? A sound plan? Am I missing a trick here?

[Just26]

Thank you both so much for your replies.

I guess the thing I am struggling to come to terms with is that I have gambled for years without ever getting carried away. I go to casinos and I find it easy to know when to stop. I dont get ‘urges’. I literally have no idea what came over me today. Do I even have a gambling problem? I have no idea.

Telling my partner at the moment is totally out of the question. How would he ever forgive me? I certainly would find it difficult to understand if he had just blown 6000, given that were not exactly flush with cash to begin with. This is something I need to fix on my own, and maybe it’s something I explain to him once there is light at the end of the tunnel perhaps?

I’ve frantically tried to think of ways of how to earn at least some of the money back (other than gambling obviously). The more I can’t see a way out of this financial hole the more I panic. I was just about done with paying off credit cards I’d racked up over the years, I’ve put myself back to square 1 and I’m so angry with myself.

Thanks again for your comments, hearing other people’s comments really help. I know people are in way more trouble than losing 6000 but in my little bubble that is what I have to show for 10 years in employment and it’s broken my heart.

[Author]

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