[Jrb]

what is the point of going to a to b ,,,,,no social life, no family n destroy urself with sick gmblg…right now lost my rent, cant pay it lost it last night 750, alresdy broke as paid debt b4 rent because done like to let people down….. my birthday on 11th and paid 35 ukp for ticket to berlin so i have smething to look forward to……. now i borrwed 550 t go to berlin, but i didnt pay my rent (im a cnbt) so im gambling my last chance….
wot a dick

[Jrb]

what is the point of going to a to b ,,,,,no social life, no family n destroy urself with sick gmblg…right now lost my rent, cant pay it lost it last night 750, alresdy broke as paid debt b4 rent because done like to let people down….. my birthday on 11th and paid 35 ukp for ticket to berlin so i have smething to look forward to……. now i borrwed 550 t go to berlin, but i didnt pay my rent (im a cnbt) so im gambling my last chance….
wot a dick

[Jrb]

what is the point of going to a to b ,,,,,no social life, no family n destroy urself with sick gmblg…right now lost my rent, cant pay it lost it last night 750, alresdy broke as paid debt b4 rent because done like to let people down….. my birthday on 11th and paid 35 ukp for ticket to berlin so i have smething to look forward to……. now i borrwed 550 t go to berlin, but i didnt pay my rent (im a cnbt) so im gambling my last chance….
wot a dick

[Jrb]

Thanks p, Vera and kpat for your comments and support.

One of my biggest issues with stopping gambling is the period of being broke and bored I would have to go through, before my finances recover and that is where the patently false belief that I can get a win, not that will change my life but ease the next few weeks. For example this month, I have blown my overdraft trying to reduce it and give me some funds to maybe relocate, then borrowed 200 and lost it trying to get back some cash flow, then borrowed 100 to get through the month – but new I would and did gamble and lose, then got advance bill money same story.

And now thinking same again…..all of the above means of course I am deeper in the hole as I have to pay it all back and the thought of stopping is difficult when know it will mean months/years of poverty expecially when my job is not working out. I know this is not logical as I keep maing things worse as I am very rarely lucky. It is accepting the above situation which is so hard.

[Jrb]

i fXXXXING hate myself. How can I be so repetitively stupid??? Also how can you lose lose lose so repetitively? On near enough 50/50 bets and you never even have an upside? So why do it,,,,,…………..Life really is shit. Even without the crap of gamling so why do i make it worse?

[Jrb]

many issues, not just gambling – my life is not happy – i read posts about howGC are dragging people around them down, but that is ironic as I am single, live in a flatshare and have almost zero friends geographically since i moved back to London from Thailand. Practical help is welcome, rants and parables related to god would be best posted elsewhere please.

[Jrb]

even before i lose the overdrafts i hav e to add to the thousands i am in debt etc – i see the truth about not surrendering—–until you do u want to havecontrol over money etc
and eventually it will end in tears….

[Jrb]

how to avoid the misery? that is to come?

[Jrb]

unfortunately i am still sucked in….a couple of small wins bring me no happiness as I know what is the inevitable outcome….
thinking

[Jrb]

but am struggling – i dont want to be in ths country as all my last ten years was overseas so it makes it difficult to just try to exist etc

[Jrb]

i am a nightmare
didnt gambleyesterday – lost the plot today and destroys my hope.

[Jrb]

Your count would have been correct Vera and good to know someone keeping an eye on it. But I am disappointed to say I erred slightly when visiting the West End…..luckily I only dabbled and stopped. I know that is not good but I could have gone to a casino and didnt came home instead and today nothing so I am back to 1 day! 🙁 However, I do feel much better mentally having done very little over the last week.) My brain at least start to have a chance to try to consider other important areas of my life right now such as health and job…. I need to work at my job/explore other options because if I can earn commissions that is a big trigger to tempt me to gamble! So to give my me the best chance to beat this I need to see possible income from other channels (though I know gambling has almost always meant a negative cash impact). Football is on which is proving tempting….

[Jrb]

Well some progress. No gambling for 3 days.

[Jrb]

Got another overdraft of1k now 5k in 8 months and I imagine 6k from salary/comm
Gambled won 150 stopped.. Self excluded another sent balance to friend…today no gamble

[Jrb]

OMG o/d increase

[Author]

Posts