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Hi Murr,
It’s ok brother, we all make mistakes. Sometimes over and over, which is hard but it happens. I came across your thread several days ago and have read it from beginning to end. You are STILL an inspiration to plenty of people here, because you DID it once – you can do it again! You can quit, pay off your debt and live a gambling free life.
This disease is ridiculously powerful. Never in a million years would I think so many intelligent, well educated and otherwise reasonable people would be “taken over” by this addiction. You used the term “trance”, or something similar. Not the first time I’ve read it… something about gambling poisons the brain, and turns otherwise logical people – destructive.
Anyway, I have never gambled because I have the addictive behavior – I just bring it to the gym. Sounds like you were doing that too. Make that your new addiction, and just know – we are all pulling for you!
God bless you, and may he give you strength…
It’s OK man, it’s OK to slip.
Today is a new day, day #1 of your CG addiction going BYE BYE. Think of all the pain, guilt and shame its caused you. How much better off you’d be today if you never discovered gambling. THEN resolve that YOU are in control and calling the shots – not the disease.
I know you want to stop, can see it in your posts. And I believe you can.. Just find people you can go to/tell when the urge hits, who can be strong for you… until you are strong enough on your own. It will be a lifelong battle, but it’s you or the disease.
The two just can’t co-exist…
I should expand a bit, as I’m hopeful this will help others…
The stock market can make you wealthy, or it can bankrupt you. The same forces that work against you at the casino do so in the market. Primarily, GREED. People hear the advice of buying a low cost index fund and see a long term return of 10%. Pretty damn good, and will make you a millionaire in 30 to 40 years.
But NOOOOO… they’re going to chase 15, 20, even 50% or more returns day trading, investing in complex sub prime mortgage backed securities or putting all their $ with a “trusted” financial advisor like Bernie Madoff (who promised month in/month out returns of 20% or more). In virtually every case, it leads to financial ruin. Again, GREED.
OTOH if you open a Roth IRA (take 15 minutes at Fidelity, Vanguard, Schwab etc) and save $500/month from age 25 to 35…. Stop. Total amount invested, $60,000. Go to sleep for 30 years. Wake up at age 65 and you’ll have over $1 Million, TAX FREE. However IF YOU WAIT just 10 years and start saving the same amount at age 35/stop at 45 and you’ll have… a little over $400,000 at age 65. YOU CAN SEE HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO START EARLY!!! Even if you start later, you have a HELL of a lot better chance vs. gambling. And none of the anxiety provoking, life destroying debt/guilt/shame gambling causes. You’ll actually have something good to feel about every month, and a bright financial future!
People need to see the upside of STOPPING gambling and INVESTING in themselves. Play your cards right (OK, bad choice of words LOL) and you can very well wind up…. rich!
EDIT: You can graduate with a doctorate in this country (US) and nobody will tell you about the above, why an emergency fund is important or even how to balance a checkbook. Damn shame, and needs to change. Money doesn’t come with instructions, and that in and of itself is the root cause of the problem. Sincerely hope this has helped some of you.. God be with everyone with a gambling addiction.
“The stock market” could mean many things.
For example, it’s one thing to invest in a Total Stock Market Index fund at regular intervals (every month), and do so as long as possible. Compound interest will take care of the rest and if you start early enough, you can make a million (or more) with just average market returns.
DO NOT buy individual stocks. That’s borderline gambling IMO. We know over time THE MARKET goes up. Can’t say that about individual stocks. Eastern Airlines, WorldCom, Enron – all HUGE companies that have 1 thing in commom. They went bankrupt, and wiped out ALL shareholder value. Therefore, buy the STOCK MARKET – not any individual stock.
Fooling around day trading is DEFINITELY gambling. So is buying on margin, puts, calls and the rest of the crap that Wall Street uses to suck $ out of investors.
Find some $ every month to invest, and plunk it into a Total Stock Market Index mutual fund, with very low expense ratio. You’ll wake up in 30 to 40 years and be a LOT more likely to have your million(s)..
Some day all of your debts will be repaid, and you will no longer use illegal drugs. Imagine, a life free of doubt, debt, worry and depression. You can do it…
IF you can stop gambling. Today. Now. Immediately.
From there, it is one day at a time… because the disease never rests. It lurks, waiting for an opportunity to strike… telling you things that you want to believe, but of course aren’t true.
I believe you can do it!
You can do it man, I’m new to this board but really rooting for you.
It’s strange. I’ve never gambled a cent, am an extreme saver, hate debt etc…… but I have a body image disorder. I see so many of the same behaviors, but at least this one doesn’t have $ problems. I guess we all have our vices. I know its not easy, but stay strong and try and remember – it’s just $. We all have bills, some bigger than others but there’s nobody here who doesn’t have them.
In time you’ll beat this – I really do believe that. But if I’ve learned anything reading these stories this disease is always there, lurking.. waiting for you to slip up and believe its lies. From what I’ve read/seen, this is the worst addiction there is… including hard street drugs. I hope science some day has answers for you..
Ik hoop dat je GF bent gebleven en je saga vanaf het begin hebt gevolgd. God, ik voel met je mee/anderen die gewoon niet weg kunnen lopen. Ik denk dat ik een keer minder dan $ 5 heb gegokt, dacht dat ik geen geluk had (ik ben niet), dus waarom zou ik me zorgen maken. Daarna nooit meer gegokt, letterlijk – niets. Deze ziekte klinkt ongelooflijk krachtig – het lijkt erop dat bijna iedereen niet weg kan lopen als hij wakker is. Althans voor lang. Ik ben ervan overtuigd dat er iets in het CG-brein is dat anders is – dan het mijne (en anderen die niet gokken). Ik hoop dat er op een dag een echte oplossing voor is, want het vernietigt zeker levens, gezinnen enz. En dat is triest..
Ελπίζω να παραμείνατε GF, ακολουθώντας το έπος σας από την αρχή. Θεέ μου, νιώθω για σένα/άλλους που απλά δεν μπορούν να φύγουν. Νομίζω ότι έπαιξα λιγότερο από $ 5 μια φορά, κατάλαβα ότι δεν ήμουν τυχερός (δεν είμαι), οπότε γιατί να ασχοληθώ. Ποτέ δεν έπαιξα μετά από αυτό, κυριολεκτικά – τίποτα. Αυτή η ασθένεια ακούγεται απίστευτα ισχυρή – φαίνεται ότι σχεδόν όλοι δεν μπορούν να φύγουν όρθιοι. Τουλάχιστον για πολύ. Είμαι πεπεισμένος ότι υπάρχει κάτι διαφορετικό στον εγκέφαλο του CG – από το δικό μου (και άλλων που δεν παίζουν τυχερά παιχνίδια). Ελπίζω κάποια μέρα, να υπάρξει μια πραγματική διόρθωση για αυτό, σίγουρα καταστρέφει ζωές, οικογένειες κλπ. Και αυτό είναι λυπηρό.
J'espère que vous êtes resté GF, en suivant votre saga depuis le début. Dieu, je ressens pour toi/les autres qui ne peuvent tout simplement pas s'en aller. Je pense que j'ai joué moins de 5 $ une fois, j'ai pensé que je n'avais pas de chance (je ne le suis pas), alors pourquoi s'embêter. Jamais joué après ça, littéralement – rien. Cette maladie semble incroyablement puissante – il semble que presque tout le monde ne puisse pas s'en sortir. Au moins pour longtemps. Je suis convaincu qu'il y a quelque chose dans le cerveau CG qui est différent du mien (et des autres qui ne jouent pas). J'espère qu'un jour, il y aura une vraie solution à ce problème car cela détruit des vies, des familles, etc. Et c'est triste ..
I hope you’ve remained GF, following your saga from the get go. God, I feel for you/others who just can’t walk away. I think I gambled less than $5 once, figured I wasn’t lucky (I’m not) so why bother. Never gambled after that, literally – nothing.
This disease sounds incredibly powerful – seems almost everyone can’t walk away being up. At least for long. I’m convinced there’s something in the CG brain that’s different – than mine (and others who don’t gamble). I hope some day, there’s a real fix for it b/c it sure is destroying lives, families etc.
And that’s sad..
Все в порядке, мужик, главное, что ты здесь. Мы все совершаем ошибки, и это тоже нормально … Ты в другом мире (я в США), но я верю в тебя. Я думаю, у тебя хватит духа кишечника победить эту штуку, но помни – день за днем. Как у тебя дела сегодня? У тебя есть желание остановиться!