[JordanG]

Murr, много оценявам вашите отзиви. Надявам се, че тази кратка запоя ще остане само кратка запоя, но днес се събуждам с това непреодолимо чувство на скръб за загубата на пари. Никога не съм мислил, че желанията да се върна ще бъдат такива. Мислех, че съм по -силен. За щастие имам планове тази вечер, така че трябва да мога да остана чист за днес. Най -високата стойност и оттеглянето са същите като всяко лекарство, което съм приемал, наистина. Отне ми около месец, за да загубя чувството си за лекарствата, които взех, така че имам чувството, че борбата чрез това ще бъде също толкова дълга.

Трябва да запазя напомнянето, че беше само 15k и можеше да бъде много повече. Но мозъкът ми непрекъснато ми се обажда и ми казва, че ми трябва обратно.

Трябва да се върна във фитнеса този уикенд, надявам се да запълня някои от тези липсващи ендорфини. Какво смятате да правите, за да запълните допаминовата си празнота?

[JordanG]

Murr, I greatly appreciate your feedback. I am hoping that this short binge will just stay a short binge, but today I wake up with this overwhelming sense of grief about the loss of money. I never thought the urges to go back would be like this. Thought I was stronger. Fortunately I have plans tonight so I should be able to stay clear for today. The high and the withdraw is just the same as any drug I ever took, truly. Took me about a month to lose that feeling for drugs I took, so I am getting the sense that the fight through this will be just as long.

Have to keep the reminder that it was only 15k and could’ve been a whole lot more. But my brain keeps calling me telling me I need it back.

I need to get back to the gym this weekend, hopefully to fill some of those missing endorphins. What do you find yourself doing to fill your dopamine void?

[JordanG]

On another note, Reading that you got yourself into some debt and feel hopeless. Before I went on my bender last weekend, I had myself in good financial standing. I haven’t racked up the amount of debt you have but I can feel for you. Someone that changed my life financially was Dave Ramsey. He’s a radio/youtube financial guy. I would really recommend you listening to his advice on Youtube on getting out of debt and having the steps necessary in order to achieve it. He calls it the 7 baby steps. As long as you can free yourself from the gambling and work hard to knock away the debt you’ll see yourself back in no time with your income. That is what I plan on doing, to straighten myself up again. You’ll see after listening to him and the people that call in, that we aren’t in as terrible shape as we think in our mind. And it can be done! Hope this helps in some way.

[JordanG]

Have learned that lesson this past week, BSB. Won a massive amount and couldn’t walk away. Wanted more and more. I have been trying to cope with the loss this week. I know from here on out, that I must be happy with the salary that I make. Fast money isn’t going to make everything better. Might be the best thing that has happened to me. Have to appreciate the grind and the feeling of success that comes with it. My inner weakness just can’t handle that kind of winning. I had been conscious about my money for the past year and the slow build up of savings is what kept me stable. My fast rise and downfall this last week has put more stress on me that I have ever had and I never want to feel that again. The jackpot feels enriching at the time but it has its consequences on our metal state. We’re just not cut out to leave when we are up. And the dramatic fall that comes after the rise, lives on longer than that short high.

[JordanG]

Этот ответ ударил как тонна кирпичей, Стеев. Я ценю вашу абсолютную правду. Самоуважение – это, наверное, гвоздь в голову. Я вижу много людей в моей работе с огромными домами и модными автомобилями. Youtube видео людей младше меня на вершине мира. Я регулярно говорю себе, что мне повезло в жизни, но, может быть, я не очень верю в это своим подсознанием.

Я начал искать консультанта. Я попытаюсь выговориться. И еще я посмотрю на Джона Брэдшоу.

Ты прав. Почему я чувствую неадекватность, когда на самом деле у меня их больше, чем у большинства.

Я ценю время, которое вы потратили, чтобы дать мне представление о том, что мне нужно понять о себе. Я искренне благодарю вас.

[JordanG]

Deze reactie sloeg in als een baksteen, Steev. Ik waardeer je absolute waarheid. Zelfrespect is waarschijnlijk de spijker op de kop. Ik zie veel mensen in mijn werk met enorme huizen en mooie auto's. Youtube-video's van mensen jonger dan ik op de top van de wereld. Ik zeg regelmatig tegen mezelf dat ik geluk heb in het leven, maar misschien geloof ik dat niet echt in mijn onderbewustzijn.

Ik ben begonnen met het zoeken naar een adviseur. Ik ga proberen het uit te praten. En ik zal ook naar John Bradshaw kijken.

Je hebt gelijk. Waarom voel ik tekortkomingen terwijl ik in werkelijkheid meer heb dan de meesten.

Ik waardeer de tijd die je hebt genomen om me inzicht te geven in wat ik moet beseffen over mezelf. Ik dank u oprecht.

[JordanG]

Този отговор удари като тон тухли, Стеев. Оценявам вашата абсолютна истина. Самочувствието вероятно е пиронът на главата. Виждам много хора в моята работа с огромни домове и луксозни коли. Youtube видеоклипове на хора по -млади от мен на върха на света. Редовно си казвам, че имам късмет в живота, но може би наистина не вярвам в това в подсъзнанието си.

Започнах да търся съветник. Ще се опитам да го поговоря. Ще разгледам и Джон Брадшоу.

Прав си. Защо изпитвам недостатъци, когато в действителност имам повече от повечето.

Оценявам времето, което отделихте, за да ми дадете представа какво трябва да осъзная за себе си. Искрено ви благодаря.

[JordanG]

This response hit like a ton of bricks, Steev. I appreciate your absolute truth. Self-esteem is probably the nail on the head. I see a lot of people in my line of work with huge homes and fancy cars. Youtube videos of people younger than me on top of the world. I tell myself on a regular basis that I am lucky in life, but maybe I don’t really believe that in my subconscious.

I have begun looking for a counselor. I am going to try to talk it out. And I will look into John Bradshaw as well.

You’re right. Why do I feel inadequacies when in reality I have more than most.

I appreciate the time you have taken to give me insight on what I need to realize about myself. I truly thank you.

[JordanG]

Ja Ryan, ik kon gewoon niet stoppen om terug te komen. Ik zou een pauze nemen en denken dat ik de koning van de wereld was. Kom dan terug en probeer voor meer. En ik had gewoon niet de discipline om te zeggen dat het genoeg is. Jij bent aan de beurt. Ga gewoon weg.

Vandaag net aan het bijkomen van het niet slapen en de ziekte. Wil nooit meer in die staat zijn.

[JordanG]

Да, Райън, просто не можех да спра да се връщам. Бих си взел почивка, мислейки, че съм крал на света. След това се върнете и опитайте за още. И просто нямах дисциплина да кажа, че достатъчно е достатъчно. Станал си. Просто напусни.

Току -що се възстанових днес от липсата на сън и болести. Никога повече не искам да бъда в това състояние.

[JordanG]

Yeah Ryan, I just couldnt stop coming back. I would take a break thinking I was king of the world. Then come back and try for more. And I just didn’t have the discipline to say enough is enough. You’re up. Just leave. 

Just recovering today from the no sleep and sickness. Never want to be in that state ever again.

[JordanG]

Да, Райан, я просто не мог перестать возвращаться. Я делал перерыв, думая, что я король мира. Тогда вернись и попробуй еще. И у меня просто не хватило дисциплины, чтобы сказать: «Достаточно, достаточно». Вы встали. Просто оставить.

Просто восстанавливаюсь сегодня после бессонницы и болезни. Никогда больше не хочу быть в таком состоянии.

[Author]

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