[Jonny123987]

Day 322 – What a glorious day tomorrow is going to be.

[Jonny123987]

Day 322 – Not much to say. Hope everyone is staying strong.

[Jonny123987]

7 days now? Great work Marta! Did you talk to your partner? Keep on rocking the no gambling lifestyle!

[Jonny123987]

Day 317 – Hey Guys – Thanks all for the lovely posts. I enjoy reading everyones posts on here. It really helps keep me grounded and level headed. Thanks to the good earth for providing us a place to all help each other out.
On the job front – Thanks guys. I think I kind of got lucky on this one. It pays a slight bit more than the other. It’s more challenging and will be more to worry about. I’d rather be challenged than not but won’t lie… I’m a little bit worried I’m not in physical shape to do it. It will be a tough one. I’m going to start training but I don’t have much time. I think it’s time that I took a long look at myself, my exercise regimen, and my diet. I also need to think about my the smoking habit. I have so many things to work on.
I’m also opening up a corp for the first time to save on taxes. I seem to keep working so It makes sense to financially to do it. I think now is an extremely good time to remind myself that all these things I’m talking about are going to take an emotional toll on me. The ups and downs and that gambling is always right there at the forefront. Not gambling always has to remain my main concern. In all things. No gambling.
Talk soon.

[Jonny123987]

When I started this thread I hadn’t hurt my back yet. That seems like a lifetime ago… Wow. To think I though I was desperate then… I had life by the balls so to say when I wrote this on 10/31. I could still walk normally and was on top of the world minus being a down and out degenerate gambling junkie…

[Jonny123987]

Day 315

[Jonny123987]

Hi Monicau,
Gees I hear you… It seems like you’re having some decent days and sone not so decent days. It’s always tough living with someone else and not having the option to change.
I totally agree with you that sitting in bed won’t solve anything. It sure is warn and feels good in the short term but it won’t get you back to where you want to be. You know what you have to do. Slowly but surely just take back whats yours. No more what if’s or accepting that you’re to old for a position. Or that the only positions out there are bad ones that no one wants. I really believe in positive energy and the ripple affect. I think it does bring more abundance to you. People want to be around the abundant person. The one that see’s the cup as half full rather than half empty. The person that is end goal oriented not stuck up on a personal issue that has nothing to do with the final result. You know all this I’m just mentioning it. I’m a single person still. I come from a big family and have brothers and sisters and nephews, etc. But the thing that I’ve struggled with for a long time is love as well… But I think it was more about loving myself. I think you are a lovable person based on all of our interactions. But I think that maybe you don’t love yourself enough. I only bring it up because you mentioned love and I thought I’d share how I felt about myself for a long time. And maybe still do at times but I’m trying my best to love myself more.
I care for you and hope things get easier. It seems like the gambling urges are becoming less which is awesome. Next is cutting down on the smokes and exercising more. I say get out of the bed sister!

[Jonny123987]

I’m a little confused about why you are on here? This a gambling site where people are trying to quit gambling and seeking some advise and support. I hear that you are in a extremely scary situation. I’m very sorry to hear that.

Are you saying that your only option is to gamble? The only way to make 700,000 is to gamble the same kind of high stakes. Is that something you are willing to risk in order to get back the 700k? Are you willing to be down 1.5mm? I’m not sure what the answer is but I hope that you can get it resolved peacefully.

[Jonny123987]

Day 315 – Seems like not so long ago me and I did it were buds. How quickly things change… Similar to gambling. With the drop of a dime and a bad decision the house can come crumbling down. The nice thing about having a argument/debate/miscommunication we can talk it through and forgive and forget. With gambling it’s a bit tougher.
This place has offered me a place to write my thoughts and diary things in a safe forum that I can reflect on later and in times of need or when an urge comes. It has been great. I also love reading and relating to a bunch of others on here that are experiencing or have experienced some of the same issues, pains, emotions, feelings, etc., that I’ve experienced that a lot of people out there just don’t get. But with that seems to have come a couple disagreements about how I’m supposed to feel, our my methods of recovery, that I feel money is important, or something I’ve said or how I’ve said it, etc., that can be distracting from what the real purpose of me being on here is to me. I’m totally cool hearing peoples thoughts and theories on everything and prefer it rather than not hearing. I would not be where I am today without that advise, this forum, my family, my conviction, my back surgery, and working a plan day to day while taking small steps towards getting a life back together. I also realize that people aren’t asking specifically for my advise and help. I’m kind of just offering it and expecting people to take it serious. I think I’m going to stop doing that as I’m not sure I’m qualified to offer anyone advise. And maybe I’m not that good at accepting criticism. The one thing I know deep down is that I wanted to stop gambling, I needed to stop gambling. Sure I had a lot of wonders on what life would be like without gambling and had been gambling so long thats all that I knew. Well I stopped gambling for some time now things seem pretty normal. It’s the same stuff with just no gambling. I have noticed that relationships are better. That I’m doing better at work, but even that has it ups and downs.
Sorry for the rant. I guess what I’m trying to say is I come on here to write. To be accepted. And to talk to others. I can be hard headed. I can be a pain. I can be jerk. But at the end of the day I do care about my recovery and everyone else’s. I sincerely apologize to everyone on here if I have been a thorn in your side at times. I sometimes am no nonsense but then can also get sensitive when someone is no nonsense with me. This is definitely something I need to think more about and probably make some adjustments.
Anywho I feel pretty good about day 315. Back to work for me. I took a job today so I’m off and running again. Thanks I did it for your welcome advise. Thanks Vera, Geordie, Maverick, P, Mark, Charles, Monicau and the many countless others on this site who have been caring to ,e and have offered me advise when I needed it and a lot of times didn’t listen. I’m grateful for all of you.

[Jonny123987]

The feeling that you are having now at 24 will be 100x’s worse when you are 44. Listen to everyones advise on here and please take it. Just stop gambling now. Go to GA. Come on here and read others methods and stories. Tell someone you trust whats going on and have them hold onto your money for you and your cards. Just live on a daily allowance. Put up gambling blocks on all digital devises and let all bookies and casinos around you know that you have a problem. And if you or your university have the option go and talk to a profession life coach or psychiatrist and let them know whats going on and see if they have any advise or thoughts on things. You have your whole life ahead of you. It sucks to have to work a week to pay off an hour. It will suck more to have to work a year to pay of a day pf gambling or worse.

[Jonny123987]

Sounds like a nice way to spend the day. 🙂 Heck yeah!

[Jonny123987]

Stay strong Monicau!

[Jonny123987]

Good work on not gambling. Woot!

[Jonny123987]

Nice of you Geordie to check in with racer. What’s up Racer? You all good? Geordie made a good point. I was there a while back and it is hard.

[Jonny123987]

Day 314 – Thanks IDI. I appreciate that. Its nice to hear. I ended up passing on that job as it didn’t feel right. I interviewed for 2 more jobs today and it’s looking promising. This will pay me my rate and sent me international again which I like to do. It will be a challenge… so I like that. Not working for two weeks has definitely put a dent in the savings already.

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