[Jonny123987]

I also believe we are somewhat alone when we quit. There are people and resources around to help which is great. But you and me need to decide on our own that we don’t want to do this anymore and stop. Then and only then can thouse resources work. At the end of the day you have to make the decision. No counselor, GA, gorlfriend, brother, or parent can ultimately stop us. We need to stop pirselves and deal with the consequences and the linings it causes. In time it will get better.

[Jonny123987]

Hey Brother,

My story is similar to yours in how long and how much we’ve gambled. I’m on day 6 again myself. This life we’ve created isn’t fun is it? The truth and only truth is listening to your in we self. Does it like the person that gambles? Does it want to do something else? Listen to it. Mine says gambling is bad, that is hurts me, that I wish I had control over it. That i should be Doug something else with my time. I relapsed about 5 times this year gambling away $100k. I hate it too. But that money is gone and I’m unfortunately a compulsive gambler. That means that I can’t gamble because I can’t stop. Pretty simple, I can’t stop until it’s gone… I need to know that. Then and only then can I just not do it. I gave all finances to a family member. I’ve sold a few things. I’m working a plan. Things will get better.

You need to make up your mind if you want to really stop. Once you do that first day is a mother then it slowly gets better. Motivational speeches have also been helpful.

As VERA says, put time between yourself and your last best. Or last thought of the debt. The money is gone and thinking about it and the wasted opportunities and time is only going to cause more pain. Think about one day at a time and only one day.

If you had never gambled would you like yourself? If they answer is anywhere close to yes I think the answer is to stop not just for the money but to get your life back.

Jon

[Jonny123987]

Right on. Let’s start 2017 the right way. No more gambling. Gambling is crap.

[Jonny123987]

First thing you HAVE to do is accept that the money is gone. My hardest part. Realize that you ultimately can’t win if you place a bet therefore every bet is a loser and you won’t just loose money but your sanity. When you’re 25 you feel like you have slot of chances and choices to make. but time does pass quick. Try to nip this now while you do have more chances. The money is gone. Are you a compulsive gambler who can’t walk away? I know I am. The only way for me is to stop. And I’ve developed a serious gambling habit so I have to take it one day at a time. And right now that’s hard but I know it’s my only hope. I’ve lost 100’s of thousands man and have gambled for over 20 years.

[Jonny123987]

I’ve won a lot of money. My problem is that I’ve lost a lot more back. I’ve also lost my life in turn. I hate myself daily. Questions my confidence. Compare myself to others and usually realize I think that they’re better than me for some reason. I see a nice car drive by and say to myself…. “I hate myself for not having that car. Why did I make so many mistakes!” But does that really help me? I don’t think so. I know I just need to focus on one day at a time. From the time I get up in the morning to the time I go to bed. I will not gamble for this one freaking day. Now I’m trying to think of three to five things I’m blessed and grateful for in the morning and I’m starting to feel a little better. I’m also stretching a little everyday getting ready for this back surgery I have coming. I’m going to beat gambling, this bad back, debt, and all the crap that I’ve let build up that has brought me to this point. Game on!

[Jonny123987]

Day 3 under my belt. Thinking I can beat this thing. Just need to put a lot of time between myself and the wagers. I just sold my camera for 3K. Will use the money to pay back 1 maxed out credit card. I already called my mom to tell her I had it and would give it to her tomorrow. Day 4 tomorrow. Game on!

[Jonny123987]

Day 3 under my belt. Thinking I can beat this thing. Just need to put a lot of time between myself and the wagers. I just sold my camera for 3K. Will use the money to pay back 1 maxed out credit card. I already called my mom to tell her I had it and would give it to her tomorrow. Day 4 tomorrow. Game on!

[Jonny123987]

Thanks. Today is day 3. Just trying to focus one day at a time on not gambling and not think about the negative. I have given up most of my finances but could still gamble if so choose too. Today I will choose not to again as I know I might win the first bet but will ultimately be unhappy because of it and will lose it on the second third or fourth bet as I can’t stop once I start.

[Jonny123987]

It’s mentally tough for sure to let go of years and years of losses. To be in debt and not ***** all the money, friendships, relationships, time, and opportunities lost. Thinking about those things are all triggers for me for sure. As well as the original problem that generally drives us to gambling in the first place. Only we can answer that final question.

[Jonny123987]

Well. I was able to get day 1 under my belt again.

Thanks,
Jon

[Jonny123987]

Hi Guys,

Thanks for the replies and suggestions. I tried to gamble block my computer but found the blocking programs are mainly for PC’s. Do you happen to know if one exists for macs and iPhones?

I’m going to start attending GA meetings again and get a sponsor as well as see someone at UCLA who specializing in gambling addictions.

With my money gone and being watched and accounted for. Counseling and GA in place. And the right state of mind I sure hope I can fight this disease.

I feel like I’m a smart enough person to do this but if I was that smart I wouldn’t find myself in this situation to begin with.

I’m also going to see a life coach about my troubled youth as I have a feeling some of those feelings are still haunting me over 20 years later. I feel I avoided gambling and weed to sort of escape the feelings and pain from that time.

[Jonny123987]

Hello All,

So i just can’t stop. It’s so hard. I keep gambling away every cent I can muster.

I have blocked myself from all websites I’ve used. But there are about 2600 of those so not sure how that’s going to to help.

My mom and I are working on me turning over every way possible for me to have access to cash or credit. This sucks pretty bad. I can’t believe I can’t hold onto money at my age. I can’t believe that i am so weak and this addiction controls my every thought. I just want my life back. I can’t stop thinking about the money I lost or trying to get it back. But it always ends the same. I win one or two or three and then give it all back. Last night I deposited money into my account and literally started crying because I hated myself so much.

A forty one year old man crying because he can’t control himself.

I just hope to god one year from now I can say I’m debt free and gamble free. 2 years ago I was on top of the world. Now I feel like I want to put myself 6 feet under it.

This issue is so much bigger then i ever imagined it was. I’m also trying to quit smoking pot too.

I’m not dying I’m never gambling again or this my last day as saying those things hasn’t helped. I’m just not gambling today.

Jon

[Jonny123987]

I am struggling too. This is a vicious disease.

[Jonny123987]

I’m scared of who I am. I say that I want to stop. I say that I want a better life. But what do I continue to do. I ask fro help. I admit I need help. I continue to gamble. What the heck is wrong with me?

[Jonny123987]

I relapsed. I am so freaking depressed right now.

I quit gambling for 3 or 4 days. On my way into work I see that I have a message from the sports book. They gave me a $250 bonus. I was like, what the hell. I’ll double it up and pull it out or loose it and not gamble anymore.

I double it up Then I double it up again. Then I double it up again. I have $1800 in my account. Then I make a $1000 wager and hit that. I have 3k in the account. I bet again and hit another $1000 bet and have 4k in the account.

That same day I got an MRI. It turns out that I will need back surgery as soon as possible and will be out of work for close to 2 months.

This makes me go a little crazy and I start pressing. I start playing craps online and turn it into $6800. I stop and say to myself. Wholly crap. That gets you close to 33% out of debt. Stop now and start withdrawing. I try to withdrawal and they account says I can’t. I have to turn in a bunch of paperwork to the online folks so they can verify who I am. I do that.

It’s about 1am and I say to myself go to bed. I walk the dog and before I can even get back I’m like try to turn it into 10k. That would be perfect I think. Then I’ll stop.

Well the story is always the same… I gambled big until about 6am and stopped with pretty much nothing. I lost the rest the next day. I then preceded to deposit every last cent I had and overdraft my account again by $500 or so.

Of course now I’m besides myself. I need surgery. I’m broke and will be out of work. I owe so much money to everyone.

So many things have gone wrong in my life. So many things have gone right in my life. I have been blessed so many times. My bad habits have led me down so many bad paths. I have been a drug addict for 25 years (Pot). I have cost myself numerous relationships, jobs, and opportunities because of the gambling and weed. I want to stop both and just live a sober and action free life. Why is it so hard? Why is so hard to just be good to myself. I’ve read a lot on here how people with gambling problems want to self destruct and hurt themselves. Maybe thats what I’m doing and have done. I know I’ve hated myself for a number of years. I honestly can’t remember when I liked myself that much. I pretend I do well.

It’s insane that I am back on here after my 5th relapse in a year and having won and lost so much and just could;t ever stop gambling.

Tomorrow is my last day 1. I will never gamble again. I’m opening up a joint account with my mom and will be calling all my cards and telling them that I lost the cards and give the new ones to my mom when they arrive. That way I won’t have the card numbers memorized and be able to do what I just did. I’ll have one card that I can’t deposit on a sports book with a $300. I’m going to not have any money to gamble with moving forward.

I’ll get this surgery in the next 2 months. I’ll have to move in with my mom to recover. She has been nice enough to offer me a place to stay while I rehab my back.

I have a lot to work on. I believe my career is decent enough that I can do this surgery and get back to work when it’s done. It will take me roughly 1-2 years to pay back this debt.

It’s just crazy because I had a run where I won $5k, and 2k, and 3k, and now that $6800. Add it all up and that’s close to the entire amount I’m in debt. Why the hell could I not just stop and withdrawal that money? I hate that I have to stop gambling because I can’t control it! I feel like I do win at it. My problem is that I can never stop. I can’t stop chasing a number that I can never reach. For a guy like me. I have lost so much that I can never stop chasing unless I win over 100k-150k at this point. Gees I’ve messed up. My life is so horrible right now. I felt good for a few days not gambling and thinking my back was getting better. Now that’s all gone. I’ve gambled won and lost a fortune and am now feeling so horrible that I’m going to take 3 pain pills and just pass out and try to forget my life.

My sister lives in a multi-million dollar home. My other sister lives in a multi-million dollar home. They are both happily married. My brother has recently this last year stopped smoking, eating meat, and stopped drinking and doing drugs. He is doing much better now. I notice how much different he is and has been without all the poisons in him.

I’m not the type of person that wants to kill himself. I love the challenge of life. But this shit has to stop or there will be nothing left of me. I’m scared I have passed all the good moments and am scared of the future for the first time in a long time. I wasn’t living paycheck to paycheck for a coupe years as I was able to save quite a bit. But them I just went on some horrible losing streaks. This last 19-20 months has been so bad. I just want it all to end.

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