[Jonny123987]

What? You gambled today? What surgery did you get done?

I’m sorry to hear that! I’m on day 16 and trying to stay strong.

[Jonny123987]

Good work Coaster and Mutley!

[Jonny123987]

Answer 2 correction: They will let me go back when I think I’m ready. They were very open to me taking 4 to 6 weeks off if I felt I needed it. I was also getting close to $1000 a week in disability which was great. I ended yup getting that while over the holiday break which I wouldn’t have worked anyhow.

I got called for 2 jobs today and was offered them if available. Unfortunately I’m working on this project for another 2 months and had to pass. But that makes me feel confident.

Much love for the world that rewards good behavior. Positive energy, loving, giving back, abstaining from bad habits all leads to feeling better and moving forward.

I can’t wait until the day comes that I’m out of debt, and back in the green. I’m seeing other investment opportunities out there that aren’t gambling and wished I’d still had my saving to invest in them. The year I had my savings I made $8000 in the stock market playing very save mutual funds. I need to go back to investing and not gambling. The slow money is the safest. The best stock broker in the world made a return of 40% for a number of years, yet I want to make back all my money now. Doesn’t seem like a recipe for success.

[Jonny123987]

Hi Vera,

Thanks for responding to my post. I really appreciated it. Of of my problems is that I constantly play the compare game in my head and get down. I think I should be doing better then any of my friends or colleagues. It’s a scary thing how competitive I am deep down inside. That competitiveness definitely played into my compulsive gambling.
By gambling and weed habits I chose to not go to networking parties, chose to take not make time for friends or family, chose to live half in the present and half in the gamble (you all know what I mean, checking scores while trying to do something else), I chose to not pay attention to life going by around me, I chose the wrong direction in my career thinking short term rather than long term, I didn’t go out, I didn’t go out on dates, I didn’t mature….. so many why’s and why nots…. I will not gamble today. Today is my hundredth day 15. I strive to not have a 101th time. One day at a time. Focus on the task ahead…

1. My injury was a work related injury.
2. My doctors will allow me to go back to work when they think I’m ready because I don’t have to lift anything and am in a desk for a couple weeks. They will have to approve me leaving the country and flying on the flight. Getting back to work might not be the worst thing as it’s helping me get my mind off of everything else.
3. I think I answered this.
4. I just got more advise from a new doctor and he pretty much told me to chill and give it time.

I went to PT today and worked out as hard as I could with the PT. He had to tell me to stop and not to over do it. He also told me that I did a good job. I could tell he was happy that I was taking it very serious and working hard. That made me feel better and gave me some more confidence that I might be able to walk normal again. I feel like I’m walking a tiny bit better already. 🙂

Here’s to not gambling and walking normal again!!! Here’s to good people who care!! Here’s to giving back!!!

Thank you!

[Jonny123987]

Great work JayKay. I will be following in your footsteps.

I’m done with gambling!

[Jonny123987]

Great work 3racer. Day 10. Woot!!

[Jonny123987]

Great work 3racer. Day 10. Woot!!

[Jonny123987]

Hey Kin,

Sorry to hear about your relapse. I agree with Vera. Don;t watch matches. I’m glad you won but don’t let that make you think you have control or can do it again. You don;t and will eventually lose it all again. Stop now my friend.

Jon

[Jonny123987]

Hi Linds,

Did you make the one week mark?

[Jonny123987]

Hey Seri,

I know the feeling. 41 here and have my mom looking over my money. Gambling is a horrible disease. You definitely need to take your money and let someone else watch it for you. Sounds like way to much pressure for your dad. Try to find a tactful way to do it though as to not stress him out about a few hundred. At the end of the day a few hundred probably doesn’t change much anyhow. Gambling sux!

[Jonny123987]

Hello,

I’m glad your partner is supporting you through this. It seems like you are similar to me in gambling a lot of money over a short period and long period. The lucky thing is you’re 22 years old and can stop now and have this problem behind you in just a few short years. You can have a great life still and this can be a small bit on the radar 10-20 years from now. But you must quit!

You will ruin your life further if you do not stop.

My thoughts to you would be:
1. Turn over all finances to your partner if they aren’t a gambler.
2. Ban yourself from all websites and casinos
3. Get gamble block for your computer and phone.
4. Go to GA and get a sponsor to talk to. It does help and although the sessions seem like a pain to go to you feel somewhat refreshed and better afterwards. Try one and let me know what you think
5. Forgive yourself and let go of the past.

I also feel like I am another person when I gamble. The logical person can’t listen to the gambler. I have cost myself so much by this horrible disease. You don’t; want to do that my young brother.

Best.

[Jonny123987]

I’ve been hurting pretty badly to lately. I do get it.

[Jonny123987]

Hi Dani,

I empathize with what you’re going through and the pain you are feeling. It’s quite overwhelming. I have been there too. Life has a way of really beating us up sometimes. I’m glad to hear your husband found you and that your baby didn’t lose her mother. I’m glad to hear you’ve slowed down your habit and are expressing yourself on this site.

My thoughts to you would be:
1. Turn over all finances to your husband if he isn’t a gambler.
2. Ban yourself from all websites and casinos
3. Get gamble block for your computer and phone.
4. Go to GA and get a sponsor to talk to. It does help and although the sessions seem like a pain to go to you feel somewhat refreshed and better afterwards. Try one and let me know what you think
5. Forgive yourself and let go of the past. That’s what I need to do now as well. Focus on the future and be the person you thought you’d be when you were younger. Be that person and I will try to as well.

Much love,
Jon

[Jonny123987]

Hi Vera,

I called a second surgeon and he won;t see until the 6 week after surgery mark to do another MRI. Of course I’ll be gone by then. I’m looking into getting an MRI while abroad and sending it back to LA for someone to look at. If they say I need to come back then I will at that point. I just don;t know what else to do. I could not go back to work and stay on disability for another few weeks I guess. That would leave my company screwed so they would never hire me back and looking for a job as soon as the disability runs out. It’s lose lose for me.

[Jonny123987]

Hi Vera,

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I’ve been very down these last few days. I have a ton of things going on. If you’ve read all my posts you know that I used to have a good amount of money saved. Then of course blew it all. So I moved back into a room at my dads place that he normally rents out. In early November I hurt my back. It was extremely bad. I went to urgent care the next day and they told me to do PT. I asked to get an MRI and was refused. I went back to work taking the pills they gave me. But I think something is wrong. I go back to the urgent care doc the next week and tell him I need to get an MRI. He refuses and then comes out to me as I’m leaving and says he approved the MRI. The MRI can be scheduled two weeks away earliest. So I get through the pain with the pills and then get the MRI. I take the MRI to the Dr and he says I need immediate surgery. The surgeon won;t see me until the approval is made for Workers comp which takes 4 days then I get the surgeon visit 10 days later. He see’s me and approves surgery. The WC people need 5 days to approve and then he schedules me a week later. All in all close to 7 weeks until I get the surgery. During this time my dad sells his house and is moving a few hours away. I get the surgery and am told that I didn’t get the surgery fast enough and that the nerve damage could be permanent leaving me pretty badly handicapped. All this while dealing with a smoking cigarette and weed problem.
I tried to save money but relapsed every time I had a little bit. Now I am broke. Am having to go back to work before I feel I’m ready because I need the money. Basically I have to take a trip next week to another country for 8 weeks. This is a strenuous job that my boss had told me that I don’t have to lift much. I am grateful for the work but am worried because I can barely walk yet and don’t want to reherniate the disk. I have 18K debt currently and about a grand in the bank. I am due another $1k to come in. If I take this trip and all goes well then I’ll be close to debt free when I come.

My dilemma is that I am mad I am broke as I might have been able to make things happen faster for my back. I would;t have had to worry about working like I was and could have just taken time off and gone to a normal doctor from insurance and gotten it looked at. Instead I went the cheap way through workers comp and may have nerve damage. I’m a gambling addict and have gambled everything away. I have currently given all finances or whats left of them to my mom. I have banned myself from every website. I have to say that is getting a little easier day by day. I just can’t relapse. I have to move all my stuff out of my dads place with a bad back which means hiring someone for $600. My mom will let me stay there in her spare room for a week or so given I go to Central America and am out of there soon, am getting close to paying off my debts, and get my own place when I get back.
So I quit smoking cigarettes the day before the surgery and it’s been close to 3 weeks since I had one. That’s good. I quit gambling 13 days ago. So that’s good. I’m starting to save and pay off bills. That’s good. I’m just very scared that my nerve damage is permanent and won’t get better.
Today I started looking at Facebook and LinkedIn and noticed a bunch of old colleagues of mine doing amazing things with their careers and look at me…. Sitting here smoking weed, doing a semi-ok free lance job with shitty benefits. Maybe going to reinsure my back to pay back money that I gambled away, ruined my credit, and most likely can’t get a place when I get back. I also have a little dog that I love to death but he would probably at this point be better off without me now that I can’t walk, pay the bills, put a roof over his head, etc. Looking at how great others are doing, then thinking about myself, and then thinking about all the mistakes that I made, then thinking about why I decided to smoke weed instead of chase after the career I wanted. I’m so mad that I’m at this point in my life.
I don’t want to gamble. But I’m mad as shit that I did this to my life. Nothing I do seems to make me feel better. I feel like a failure. I feel like I’m a waste of space. I know I can do better. Why have I chosen these things? I’m so freaking mad!!

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