[Jonny123987]

Good to hear you’re doing well Exon. Good job man!

[Jonny123987]

Day 214 – Thanks for saying hello K. Much appreciated. The days are adding up. I don’t have many urges these days and am coming to terms with things. Just the other day at work someone asks me to take part in some sort of Fantasy gaming. I simply said I can’t gamble on anything but that I really appreciated the offer. They asked why, and I simply said I’m a recovering gambler and can’t. And wished them luck. Haven’t thought about it again since besides telling this story. At first I was a little worried about telling people this but after a day or two I realized that there was nothing wrong with admitting I’ve had a problem and that I’ve chosen to move on. At first I thought it was a weakness when in hindsight I realize it’s a power. By quitting gambling I have gained strength. I said I was going to do something healthy for me and followed through. It’s given me something bigger than I ever realized. For the first time in my life I’m not the gambling man. And thats the way I like it.
I’ve also been out of debt now for a month or two which is great. Of course I think about the losses and where I’d be had I never gambled or stopped sooner… But I always realize that’s just not the way it is and this is where I am. I just need to accept that in the healthiest way possible. I’ve started doing some TM which had helped calm me. I want to start taking it more seriously and understand it better. I’m happy to have found it.
I moved in with a gal who has an addiction to pills (I didn’t;t know this when I moved in). She has been talking about quitting and I just hear myself talking… Saying I’m going to quit but not really meaning it. I can see the lies to herself and to others and it resinates with me deep inside. It makes me feel a little angry and sick. I of course am moving out asap (this week) as it’s an unhealthy environment to be in. As much as I want to help her I have to her I have to help myself first. I can’t be around people who aren’t strong enough to say no. If I see her do that enough maybe I ‘ll do it. I don’t think so but I still don’t want to be around it or see it. I feel bad for her but she’ll have to make her own mind up.
On another note – my job extended me two more months so I should be able to keep saving. I opened a Roth IRA account and some basic stocks. I’m looking into index funds to invest in next. I’ve been watching a ton of videos about TM, Tony Robbins, Warren Buffett, etc., and a bunch of other great people on success, and how to plan savings properly for the future. Hoping it helps me.
Again – Thanks for checking in. I’m going to keep staying strong. I’ve also been working out a bunch trying to lose some weight. Even my back and leg are getting stronger slowly. But thats another story.

How are you doing K?

[Jonny123987]

Day 208. Crap I think I got the ***** wrong on my other page. Whatever. Hope you’z iz all well.

[Jonny123987]

Good work Mr Exon. 7 weeks is a major accomplishment.

I’m on day 207 I’m pretty sure. Things definitely get easier when not gambling from a financial standpoint. The pain also lessons. But man I still feel the burn of it all.

[Jonny123987]

49 days is a huge accomplishment Maverick. Can you explain why you are such a bad father? What makes you that? Baby steps Maverick.

[Jonny123987]

Day 200. Very happy to have gotten to 200. One day at a time.

[Jonny123987]

Day 197. Thanks for the kind responses.

[Jonny123987]

Day 193 – Starting to feel stronger from all the working out on my back and leg. Hope you are all doing great. Seems like their aren’t too many people posting to this forum on this site. I appreciate the site and will continue my ***** here. I think it’s therapeutic for me. 🙂 Crazy how many gamblers their are in the world yet only a few weekly new posts. And those few most of the time they check in and disappear quickly. Not sure if it’s the disease or people get better and don’t talk as much.

[Jonny123987]

How are you doing Rainman?

[Jonny123987]

Great work Paul. Shows that good things come to those who are willing to work hard at doing the right thing. Kudos to you. Keep up the good work and lets beat this disease together as a team. Glad to be on your thread and to share in your success.

Great work!!

[Jonny123987]

Day 188. I posted on my other thread. Hope you all are doing fantastic.

It’s a beautiful day here. I’m finally out of debt and in the green. Nice to finally be able to say that after months of hard work.

Have a great weekend!

[Jonny123987]

Day 188 with control over not doing something that is harmful to my well being.

I’m in the fight for my life. I recognize it. If I give in my life is over again. While I gambled I was breathing and had a pulse but I wasn’t living. Everyday I remind myself that I am an addict and know what I can’t do. Everyday I remind myself right after that it’s ok…. And I’m ok…. and it’s going to be ok… and take a deep breath and continue on. People are flawed. We make mistakes. We’re human. I’m human. I need to stop comparing myself to others that I see as perfect or living a life that I want. I just need to keep working hard one day at a time. Focus on making this day the best day ever. Focus on helping myself and being good to others. Focus on all positive things.

I agree with Charles and Vera to start your own threads. It’s helpful for a number of reasons. You don’t have to say much. Just explain how you’re feeling.

Vera – Thanks for saying hello and wishing me well. I’m glad to hear you’re doing so great as well. It’s amazing how much clearer things can get when we get out of the fog. Thank you for your much appreciated advise. I definitely look to you for support and guidance through the mercy waters of addiction and recovery. I suggest everyone of us listen to Charles and Vera. I will continue to work on myself Vera, and strive to put the pain of this more behind me. But as you know it’s difficult to forget such a huge loss of love, trust, time, and wealth. I agree with you that living one day at a time and not worrying about yesterday or tomorrow is smart. Just think about how you’re going to live the best day you can today. 🙂

TwnMum – Hi… I’m very grateful that you trusted me enough to reach out and express what you’re going through. I don’t think many people can truly understand or empathize with the pain you must be feeling. I’m really proud of you that you’re seeking advise and help from this forum and community of fellow compulsive gamblers. The advise that the others gave is sound advise. Please listen to everyone. I know it’s hard and definitely feels nearly impossible. But you can do it. Did you screw up? Yes. Does it mean you’re a horrible person? NO. Does it mean you need some work? Yes. The fact that you have reached out means you are close… if not ready to begin the transformation back to your life. We all have different ways to grieve. We all go must suffer through major personal losses. I agree that gambling is a way to forget painful events. Loose yourself in the action…. Then something crazy happens from the action… We loose money… we lose time…. we lose self respect…. we lose friends…. we lose family…. we lose ourselves to it…. and probably least important we lose money. But ultimately – WE LOSE! Once we lose it we convince ourselves that we have to have it back. We have to get it back. So we start chasing. and you know what? It feels good because we forget the losses, we forget the pain, we’re feeling good for a few hours, but boom, then we aren’t. And it’s not only back but it’s worse this time. This is a cycle for all of us until we’re completely broke and null and void to everyone and everything including ourselves. But there is a chance for all of us. We have to stop immediately. We have to choose life and not gambling. We have to let go of all the yesterdays and all the money and everything else and just want to enjoy today.

Questions:
1. Did you go to GA? If so, how was it? Did you relate to some of the folks there? Was it therapeutic?
2. Do you have twins?
3. What are your games of choice when gambling? You said you went on a binge? How so? Online? At a casino?
4. How are your finances? Can you pay your bills this month? How bad is your debt?
5. Is your family usually supportive of each other? Are they the most important people in your life?

Mr Exon – Thank you for taking the time to visit me and wish me well and offer some insight. It’s truly appreciated. I’m glad to hear that you’re gamble free for a month. That’s really awesome man. Keep up the good work! In response to your suggestion I will do my best to stop blaming myself so much. I think maybe it’s been part of my process. I have been trying to accept my loses in a safer and more constructive way lately. I’d be the last person to tell anyone what to do. I merely make suggestions like you are. I say do whatever works for you to stay away from gambling. If you’ve made it 27 days doing it your way then keep it up. Make it to 47, then 62, then 84, and so on with that method. The key for you and me is not gambling for today. Talk soon brother and lets not do that crap together.

Charles – You are a man that I’ve sparred with on this sight once or twice. The truth about you Charles is you are a great person who cares about others. You give it to us straight and and I’m grateful. I always welcome your advise and appreciate your help.

MaryMelody – Hi MaryMelody, Thanks for reaching out and reading my story. It’s nice to have someone rooting for you in a positive way. 🙂 I’ve been trying my best to remain strong and fight for my life. I’m very sorry to hear that you and your husband are suffering through the grip of the disease. It’s scary how powerful it can be. Some/most can’t see their way out with help. I certainly had a lot of help and still come to this site daily and am grateful for the daily emails that stand as a reminder that I am sick. I might not be throwing up. But I am sick and always will be. And it’s ok. I’ve gambled a fortune away and it’s going to be ok. This is my journey. And yes I blame myself for making these bad choices. I’m no genius but I don;t see anyone else around to blame. I accept that and am proud of my acceptance. It hurts. Sure. But I own it. Unfortunately the grips of gambling are so bad that your husband will most likely choose gambling before love. It’s that powerful. I don’t know the answer accept that I do know the power of gambling. Your husband will need to stop for the sake of his own life. Once he does that he might be ready to love another person again. Until he can love himself and not compulsively gamble while hurting the ones that love him he can’t truly love another. I’m sorry to say that but I do believe it.

[Jonny123987]

Hi 3racer,

I’m really happy to hear that you made it to day 175. That’s a major accomplishment. And thank you for sharing what you’ve just gone through. It was helpful for me to read. I agree with the post above that the amount of the bet doesn’t matter. It’s the action that we all crave. Self control is the key to everything. We can give our money to someone else. We can call 2000 gambling establishments and exclude. We can buy exclusion software for all electronic gambling devises. But truth being told there is always a way for an addict to get action in one form or another. The key is knowing that and no acting on it. You will get back to 175 and beyond. Be strong my friend and choose the right path. Because of you I can make it and will not gamble for today.

Don;t forget ever that you are great. You are powerful. You control your thoughts therefore you control the world around you. Be the person you want to be 1 day at a time. Don’t think about yesterday and don’t think about tomorrow. Just live this one day the best that you can.

[Jonny123987]

Later Addi… Come back to us.

[Jonny123987]

Good work Darren!

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