[Jonny123987]

Hi Mark, Do you want to quit gambling? It kind of sounds like you’re on the fence.

[Jonny123987]

Hi Monicau, Don;t let the non responses on this sight get you down. Use this site as a diary for you to read when times get tough. Every once in a while someone will post something that will be helpful so it’s good to keep up on this site. But if you’re looking for real support you need to go and get it at a GA meeting g with a sponsor or another program. You will only get random help and insight on this site.
Keep up the good work! You’re doing great. This is a slow process and I also need to remind myself about that daily.

[Jonny123987]

Mark – No one on her can help you unless you are ready to stop. Are you ready to do that? I noticed you haven’t been back since your original post so I’m assuming not. Making a bold statement like you did is a good start in the admission process. I hope the best for you!

[Jonny123987]

Hey Rainman – What do you want out of life? What is your end goal?

[Jonny123987]

Honestly if you add up all the time that most of us have gambled in our lives… That time could have easily been spent doing something more productive. I easily could have gotten my doctorite in the same amount of time and energy given to gambling.

[Jonny123987]

Honestly if you add up all the time that most of us have gambled in our lives… That time could have easily been spent doing something more productive. I easily could have gotten my doctorite in the same amount of time and energy given to gambling.

[Jonny123987]

Thanks 3racer! I’m sorry for the misery your suffering and predicament you find yourself in at the moment. It sucks so bad. I remember being right there. The way you explained it brought me right back to the place I was in a year ago. I was doing well. I had quit gambling AGAIN but that time I was doing well. I had somewhere in the 2-3 months range under my belt. My finances were getting better. I was feeling better… Then I felt safe like I could manage 1 bet. I could easily win a grand or two and that would be sweet. The weird thing is that I didn’t NEED the grand or two. I could have been fine without it. I just wanted that rush. I love that rush. So I placed that one bet and won. I was in San Diego when I did it. I won like $200 or something. Then it was on. That wasn’t enough. I needed more. So I placed another bet but lost. No I was down $60 or something. Then I placed another… Before 2 days was gone I was down like $5k and chasing. Then it was $15k. And I was right back where I started chasing and loving the rush overtime…
Thanks for reminding me. That’s not a place any of us want to find ourselves.
But…. you can once again overcome that crap. It all starts with knowing 100% deep inside that you can’t win that money back. It’s gone. And that placing wagers hasn’t worked in the past and it won’t work now. If gambling was mathematically making sense you would be making money at it. A person that practises anything in life for that many hours generally gets better at it. Unfortunately thats not true for the gambler or heroin addict or alcoholic, etc.

[Jonny123987]

I just read my day 175 – I was at even on day 175. Now I’ve got money saved and would be ok for a few months if needed. Gambling took so much from me. I would have been worth over $500,000 today had I never gambled and maybe more had I invested that money which I would have. For any younger person reading this post… Don’t be me. Don’t be here in the middle of your life talking about how you lost a half million dollars plus the compounding interest of 20 years. If you add the compounding interest it would be roughly worth double. So I gave up a million dollars to gambling. For the rush of it with the hopes that I would get rich faster. I sure wish I hadn’t done that.

[Jonny123987]

Day 275 – I really appreciate reading everyone’s stories on here. Not gambling has been really difficult at times. Even though things are better from a financial stand point I still often find myself wanting to place a wager and feel the action once again. I just read 3racers admission of relapse and it reminds me of my major relapses… I know if I gamble again it will be just as he explains. The worst thing ever. Today is football day. I did love to wager on a game and watch it… But then again I loved to wager on everything.
I’ve been very fortunate… I have been able to get out of debt and save a bit. I’ve been working consistently. My back has been feeling better and better, which is good. My nerve damage is not better but other parts of my leg have gotten stronger and are making up for the loss of nerve. Things could be way worse.
I’m not sure I’ll ever completely loose the feeling of wanting to place a wager… But I always try to remember what placing wagers did to me… I was ready to kill myself. I had nothing. I was ashamed of myself. I knew if others knew how bad I was what t hey would think of me. I was an absolute train wreck at all times. I wasn’t sleeping. I was lying to myself and everyone around me. I felt sick daily. I didn’t;t eat right. I hardly ever brushed my teeth for some reason. My place became dirty. Dishes weren’t done. I wasn’t playing music and sitting in the sun. I wasn’t planning trips or ever having dun with anyone. I was always putting gambling first. Instead of eating something nice I would gamble and then with the few pennies left I’d grab some crafty fast food. If I can rattle off that much crap in just a few minutes gambling is bad. There is nothing good about it. I’m addicted to the feeling of it. The rush. The money is just the aftermath of the rush…. the action…
I’m not gambling anymore. Guess I just needed to say all that.

[Jonny123987]

This guys will never be back…

[Jonny123987]

Day 269 – I can’t believe a year is only 3 months away.

[Jonny123987]

Day 269 – Things are always improving. Not gambling is the only answer. I miss the rush for sure but not enough to derail everything I’ve worked so hard for. Not again…

[Jonny123987]

Day 261 – Wanted to gamble bad yesterday for some reason. I didn’t though which is good. I don’t need the money so I’m not sure why the urge was so strong.

[Jonny123987]

Day 261 – Wanted to gamble bad yesterday for some reason. I didn’t though which is good. I don’t need the money so I’m not sure why the urge was so strong.

[Jonny123987]

I think you need to come clean to your folks and ask them for help. Is that something you might consider? They might be able to help you get to a better place by offering a loan that you can pay back to them. You can turn over all your finances and paychecks to them and maybe they can help you at least get done with those pay day loans. Telling my folks was a big help for me and the support has helped me stay clean. You’ll then need to seek help from GA and most likely the support of a sponsor or two. The good news is that you’re young and can go back to school and stop gambling and have the life of your dreams. The amount of debt you have is nothing once you start making some real money. But you do have to stop now.

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