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Hi P,
Gambling has a way of completely changes us. It does happen at a chemical level in our brains. Our brains release a chemical when we are gambling. It actually releases more of the chemical right before a loss. I call it the rush that action brings. If you look at the rush as the way you look at a drink I think it helps understand our gambling disease better. Some people can have that rush and not want another and another or to get a bigger rush. But an alcoholic does similar to the gambler. When taking that drink or rush it helps us forget or push to the back of our heads the real reason we can’t control the amount of that rush thats healthy. Which in turn leads us down the same spiral that any other disease/addiction will. With gambling it costs us confidence, self worth, self control, friendships, trust, time, money, health, family, etc. Just like the alcoholic we can’t stop until we’re destroyed. I hope we can all remember this when we have the urge to feel the rush and not feel the pain. Remember feeling the pain and dealing with it is the healthy thing to do. Not place a bet or have a drink.
I wish you well P in your fight for your life back.
JonHi Mav – You asked yourself a lot of questions a few weeks ago when you wrote last. Am I loved, do I love, am I liked, do I like, etc… WHAT ABOUT THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS. Are you strong? Do you have control over your actions? Do you have control over yourself?
Thoughts? Are you still gambling?
Great work on the gamble free year Brendan!
I’m glad some of my words have helped you. I think that humans have a natural instinct to criticize things as well as have the ability to quash those thoughts. Negativity and positivity are two sides of the same coin. You just have to pick a side. Much easier said than done of course.
Good work Monicau. Stay strong and keep it up!
I hear that Monicau, it’s crazy how much money we gambled and in comparison how little getting help costs… Of course we always realize the later after we’ve spend the money. The guilt is a hard thing to forgive and forget. If I knew a way to make it all go away I would. I actually won a bunch of my lost savings back at one time back in 2014. I was up a lot and added it all up and realized I was close to broken even for like 5 year previous years of gambling. I had over $100,000 just siting in an account and it wasn’t enough… It was never enough to do what I really wanted to do…. Which was stop hurting inside.
Whats more important I ask myself often. Money or pain. Money or love. Money or …..blank… Money is an a-hole! Money doesn’t make you feel good. Money doesn’t make the person you are. I also don’t really think I gambled for money. I think I gambled because I loved the rush. People on here generally always talk about the money. The money this, the money that, oh what if I had the money…. I do it all the time too. But what about the fact that we all love the rush… The action… We’re all junkies and we only want to see the affects of the money. When the loss of money is just the result of getting the rush. Similar to track marks and bad skin on a heroin addict. We love the rush. The rush puts us in a gamblers fog. The fog is hard to see out of. In that fog we find the worst of ourselves possible. Somehow it protects us while taking everything from us. It sheilds us from the hurt and fear. It’s all bullcrap. It’s not the money. It’s the rush… By taming the rush the money starts to fall into place.Also – Don;t forget about the gambling rush. We all love that rush. It’s the real reason we keep going back. The action… The rush… Usually that rush covers up some other underlying issue that we might have surpassed for a long time and might not fully understand. I suggest to everyone on here to get a life coach and look into some of those things. A lot of times we are chasing there rush to suppress the real problem. The more money you have the more it takes to suppress the feeling and get the proper rush to do so. Just a thought.
Hi Rainman,
How are you doing today? What do you do for a living? I sold marijuana in college and was never proud of it. Why are you not proud of what you do?
I understand wanting to make a lot of money. I’d be lying if I said making money is important to me as wll. But I also don’t think a bug pile of paper should be our top priority or our end goal. Let me ask you a question. You said that you made 100’s of thousands of dollars and then gambled it. If money was going to make you happy wouldn’t;t you have been happy with the money you had and the money you could have made compounding that number with average gains? Do you see the point I’m getting at?
It seems like you have the capabilities to earn which is great. You know gambling doesn’t work and ultimately makes you loss your ass and feel like a chump. So why allow yourself to do it?
What job out there will make you feel satisfied and proud of yourself? Is there one? When you dream of the person you see yourself as what is it? Is it impossible to chase that dream still?
If you know something deep down inside then it will become your reality like you suggested. So make the good thing you dream about happen, not the horrible scary dream.
Does any of this make sense at all?Hi Melpitt, I hope you post agin on the site. I see a bunch of people who come on here. Post and then are gone. Don’t be one of those people. You seem smart. There is no one that will be able to stop you besides the person you see in the mirror everyday. You need to put barriers in place until you can take back over your finances. You can’t hold onto money for the time being. You need like 3-6 months not having any additional money. Do you have anyone that can help you with your finances?
Also – It seems a little like you’re saying that you can’t stop because you can’t relate to the help that’s out there. That’s the gambler talking. The gambler doesn’t want help. The gambler resists help… You are chasing the rush. Remember that. Not the money.