[Jonathan2122]

Monique,
Thank you for your post, as it really opened my eyes. I need to put myself first before anything right now. I should not be focused on starting a new relationship. I need to focus on bettering my life one day at a time. I am trying to slow down emotionally as well as mentally and I could only do that by not gambling and putting that energy to the tasks at hand. I am going to put off hobbies for the short term until I can get a grip on life, and really figure out what I want to do with my work situation.
I am in the process for looking for new jobs outside the city I am currently living. I work in the hopsitality field and sometimes, to move up you have to move on. I have a couple of great opportunities that I am researching and going through the interview process. Once I figure out my professional situation then I will be able to figure out my relationship situation.

Writing definetly helps and I will continue to use this as a tool to keep my mind busy and as a form of therapy.

I didnt gamble today and I am thankful for that . 9 days removed from gambling and counting!!!

[Jonathan2122]

Well today is 1 week since I last gambled!! Since it is on a football Sunday my stomache is crunching and turning. I am trying hard to not follow the scores and see what I would have bet on. I am at work trying to keep my mind occupied.
My girlfriend is coming home from her Thanksgiving vacation and I know we need to have the conversation of breaking up. I am sure we will still live together for rent sake and financial purposes until the end of the year, but who knows. I have lots of anxiety right now, and I am sure most of you get that as well. Its almost like I can feel something bad about to happen. Typing this is making me feel a little better, but I know it gets worse before it gets better.

I was bored and didnt want to follow sports last night after work so I joined an online dating website preparing for whats next after we break up. I know I shouldnt focus on that and I need to focus on myself right now and take life one day at a time.

I dont know why I want to keep fast forwarding life. I am pretty sure that was the gambling affecting my brain. How long till it stops and I could think like a normal person?

Anyways, back to work… Hope to hear form someone soon.

[Jonathan2122]

Thank you for reading about my situation and responding. I am excited to have joined this group and will try my best to transfer the energy I gamble with into posting and proper therapy.

Due to work constraints and limited GA programs where I live, I can not commit to a weekly meeting. However I am currently looking at moving to get away from a 4 year relationship(nothing to do with gambling) I have been looking into the meetings at other cities.

I plan on treating this like a journal and will track myself daily to ensure I stay positive and focus on my life one day at a time. I know I can not change the world today, however there is a reason for my existence and I will find it.

Are there any specific counselors that anyone suggests? have researched and not many specialize in gambling, however lots do focus on addiction.

My girlfriend is at her grandparents this week as I couldn’t get off for the holidays. Work consumes a lot of my life which wil help me stay away from gambling, but will hurt when I try and settle down for a long term relationship. I need to find a work life balance, now that I am planning not to gamble when I am off from work. My life as of last week was work and gamble that is it. I did not life live to the fullest. I was only a physical element as my mind was not into anything I was doing except gambling. I didn’t gamble today and I pray not to gamble tomorrow.

Good night!

[Author]

Posts