[Jolene]

My update is that everything remains much the same. I am on this board today, reading the comments and hoping to draw strength from them. When he called last night, asking for money to help bankroll him for the upcoming tournament,which he expected to do well in, I said,”no” but I struggle a bit with resentment, in that he is a young, healthy guy, and the rest of his family have to work to pay our bills. I love him, but he isn’t listening any better than he was before. Thanks to all. 

[Jolene]

Hi, My son had a birthday last week. I gave him some money(not a lot) to help him pay a few of his bills. He told me less than a week ago, that he was going to keep trying some methods at online poker for the next 6 weeks and after that, he would begin a job search. I wanted to believe him, as this is the first time that he has used a time limit, but feel doubtful. There was a live poker tournament this coming week, and he wanted to participate, but wasn’t sure how much he would be able to play as his funds are low. Every live poker tournament is met with the statement that he has more experience than the other players will have and it should be almost a sure thing to win some money. This is nothing that other friends/family of poker players haven’t heard before. 5 days have gone by and late last night he called to borrow a few thousand dollars to just help him “bankroll” so that he can have the funds to play in the tournament so that he could have more opportunity to win and get back on to a good financial situation. Both my husband and I said no. We don’t have the money, nor could we throw it away if we did. I reread the previous comments. Thank you. 

[Jolene]

Thanks for your reply Cathyx,

  It’s been a little while, since I have heard from my son. He was trying some new methods. He doesn’t believe he has a problem-just that somehow the online system has changed and he is trying to learn how to adapt. I know that he is delusional. The hard part is trying to contact him, and he gets upset that,”I just don’t get it.” I want him to reach out and say that he needs help, but he isn’t there yet. Thanks for the offer to reach out, on my part. I am sure I will be writing again. 

[Jolene]

Thanks for your reply Cathyx,

  It’s been a little while, since I have heard from my son. He was trying some new methods. He doesn’t believe he has a problem-just that somehow the online system has changed and he is trying to learn how to adapt. I know that he is delusional. The hard part is trying to contact him, and he gets upset that,”I just don’t get it.” I want him to reach out and say that he needs help, but he isn’t there yet. Thanks for the offer to reach out, on my part. I am sure I will be writing again. 

[Jolene]

Thanks for your reply Velvet, My husband is becoming increasingly stressed about our son’s decisions to continue gambling. My husband was actually supportive when our son had frequent wins of large sums of money. Now he sees it for what it is-gambling and wants our son to just get a regular job. I hate to see our son lose his house, but realize as Cathy said, that this may be the only option. We certainly can’t afford to continually fund him through all of his “strategy research”. Thank you. I will reply with an update when there is one.

[Jolene]

Thanks for your response Cathy. Just today, my son called to say that he is out of money and is upset that we are not “supporting him” in his time of need. Yes, he may have to lose his property. I’m not sure yet if there is a Gam Anon in my area-this is the first place that I have looked for help. If it was a friend telling me the same story, I would more than likely give very similar advice to what you just gave me. His gambling isn’t new, but his not winning a windfall to get him through is new. My husband and I work hard to pay the bills that we have, and today, when he called to say that he was out of money, I felt sick about him asking when he doesn’t hold down a job. I’m anxious about the increased conflict and no resolution or plan of action on our son’s part-other than his feeling that he will change his strategy. Thank you. I will post with an update when there is one.

[Jolene]

Thank you Velvet for your reply. It is nice to know that there are others that understand the position that I am in. My son has been routinely able to pay his bills due to his “wins” but for the last few months, he has had a downward turn and is now admitting that he can’t pay his bills. He still believes that continuing to play poker, will soon result in an uptick and things will be okay again. In the meantime, I helped him pay his mortgage for this month, but financially I can’t afford to keep doing this repeatedly, nor do I want to bear that responsibility for someone who won’t seek help.He said for the first time the other day, that if things don’t get better, he will have to begin a job search but he wants to first “follow his dream.”  He will tell me that he is developing and researching new approaches to his game strategy etc.,. I love him, but not sure what to do. As I said, financially I can’t help him by continuing to pay his bills, nor do I want to and yet I don’t want to see him lose his house. Really unsure as to what is the right next step. 

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