[jen3]

Thanks for your support IDI. It’s still the early days for me as years ago I was a regular at the casino but ever since my son came into this world 13 years ago I became more of a binge gambler. None the less I am tired of the chaos gambling brings. It offers absolutely nothing positive. Day one of week 4.

[jen3]

Day 21.

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Day 20. I can’t sleep. Wide awake since 3:40 am. Had this problem a week or so ago for several nights in a row. Oh well lack of sleep still feels so much better when it’s not due to being in a casino all night.

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Hi IDI! Sorry I missed you in Chat the other day. Looked like you were logged in but than off. I think we kept missing each other. Like you ladies I would always wanted to be left alone in my own world yet always seemed to have someone lurking over my shoulder or sitting next to me cheering me on or checking in on me while I sat in the same darn chair for hours on end. The whole time wanting to say “get the f away from me” IDI you said it best when you said at times you would be relived when the money was gone and the chase was over. My last relapse I was able to somehow stop myself mid chase But that seldom happens . I do recall numerous occasions shoving my last few hundred in as fast as I could just saying “here take it so I can get the hell out of here”. No sense going home with a hundred or two to get me by, instead I will scramble even more when I get home. Uggg! The good ole days. NOT! I hate that I gave so much energy to so much stupidity. Oh well, hopefully those days are behind me. As you would say onward and upward!

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You are doing Great Sherrie! Proud of you! Keep on keeping on.

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Vera, I am so darn happy you are back! We need your words of wisdom. You are right where God wants you to be. I believe with all my heart when we stop chasing money, and start chasing Gods will for our life, the rest will fall into place. Never ever give up giving up.

[jen3]

Day 19.

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Thank you for your kind words. .., Have you ever read the book beyond addictions? (By Jeff Rudd) It’s a great book.

[jen3]

Thanks Meg & Murr. You two have no idea how much your posts encourage me to keep moving in the right direction. Meg you are doing great!! and Murr you had a slip. I know it was a rough one but do not let it take away the days you did not gamble. I am so glad that you came clean with your family and are back on the right track. Let’s all stick together & pray for each other. We got this!! I just know we do.

[jen3]

Stop beating yourself up. It’s over. It’s done. Ask God to take away your sadness, shame, guilt etc( whatever you are feeling) Ask him to fill you with his peace. He will. All you have to do is believe he will and ask him. It will take some time to heal but you will. Stop looking behind you and or too far ahead. Just make the best of today. I know the feeling of being down in the dumps but God never fails to help me get through the day when I ask him. You’re in my thoughts and prayers.

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So darn proud and happy for you Liz! Hoping to follow in your foot steps. It’s only day 18 for me but it feels different this time. Kind of like “I get it”. Who knows what will happen down the road but I do know one thing for sure…. I am not going to gamble today. 🙂

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Well said RG!!!

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Congrats Murr! I am happy for you. Everything will work itself out as long as you keep working on yourself. If that makes any sense.

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Day 18. What a depressing week. A friend I went to high school with passed at 46. Diagnosed with brain cancer a few months ago. A family friend is now in at home hospice with bladder cancer. She is 83 but still sharp as all hell. I confided in her about with my gambling issues over the years. Very supportive and non judgmental, Than just last night found out another Great soul took his own life. He lost his wife a few years back and I believe he just could not do life without her anymore. All so heart breaking. Today I reflect on how precious life is and how good I have it . Yes I feel bad knowing how short life is and reflect on how much time I have wasted gambling. I also forgive my self because I know I have a disease. I am a work in progress and doing what it takes to keep my disease in check! I thank God for 18 days of no gambling and today no desire. Life is precious! Life is short! I intend to make the best of whatever days, months or years I have left. I believe life is a gift from God and what we do with it is our gift back to him. Today I choose to be the best possible version of me.

[jen3]

Meghan, You are such an inspiration. Wow! You have an incredible way of putting this “disease” into perspective. I thank God for letting our paths cross! Keep going strong! Bound and determined to follow your foot steps!

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