[jen3]

Good job I-did-it! We are on the right path. After Christmas and New year my goal will be till we go vaca the end of March. I want to be on vacation celebrating g free time and not stressing about gambling losses. One day at a time but I have to have goals.

[jen3]

It’s all bad weather it be sports betting, slots, poker etc, when we can’t control it. Good job recognizing it. The money is gone. Don’t chase it or the loss will only snowball. I wish you the best.

[jen3]

Day 18. I know, no big deal but I am posting it because I am trying to keep active here. Trying to keep reminding myself that I am here for a reason and not let my mind take me to “I do not need this, it’s a waste of time, I can stay away from gambling without help” Most of all trying to stay away from “I am better, I can gamble, it will be fun, I will be careful, I can use the extra money, (extra money hahahaha.)

[jen3]

We must have the same gamble free time because today is Day 18…. I always used to think “I can still play bingo, buy some scratch offs here and there, Shake dice, etc (cause those are just pass times and not my poision) But I think we are just “sticking our toe in the water and eventually those things lead to us being sucked under… I don’t know I suppose it’s different for everyone… 3 weeks till Christmas Eve. Christmas Day will be 40 days… I know we can do it and hopefully it’s the first 40 days of many more gambling free days. It’s not easy that’s for sure BUT struggling not to gamble is a lot easier than struggling after the gamble.

[jen3]

Sunday’s were always a big G day for me. Not today though. 🙂

[jen3]

That all sounds Great! I mostly do it to keep weight off. The only upside of gambling…. (There really is no up side) I could go 2-3 days without eating. Most expensive unhealthy diet on the planet. 🙂

[jen3]

That’s great.  I eat Pretty clean.  Once you start after a week or two you will crave the good stuff versus the processed crap.  I do cheat on weekends occasionally and than I feel like crap.  Kind of like after gambling. Lol. Good luck! 

[jen3]

I choose A drinking hangover over a gambling one anyday. :)(Being that I have a lot more control over drinking than gambling, well sometimes. Lol).  Any ways keep moving in the right direction. Let’s not go back to what brought us here us here in the first place. 🙂 

[jen3]

Yup most of us know what to do but always easier said than done. When we get “the fever” it is so hard to actually think it all the way through. Even if we do stop to think it through our addicted minds tell us “it will be different this time” Even as I write this I think “it will feel so good to just go play for awhile” hard to think about how it will feel walking out the door feeling miserable. Flip! Why can’t we be addicted to knitting or something. Lol

[jen3]

I follow your thread. You’re doing Great Liz!

[jen3]

I hear ya. I never fall behind on my bills either. I am actually always months ahead.  However I seem to dig holes, dig out, dig holes, dig out. One of these times I will not be able to dig out. I suppose that will be bottom.  I never want to see that day.  Of course every gambling hangover makes me think “there is no way out this time”. I always seem to manage maybe that’s why I never quit.  Hoping things will be different this time. I hlope and pray we all make it to next year with no gambling so we can enjoy the holidays.  Than we can Hope for a g free 2019.  Wouldn’t that be a good year??? Let’s do this. 

[jen3]

Vera, I remember a few times, years ago making the 2 hour round trip (4 hours). to chase my looses, knowing like you I was going to win my money back. Ugggh the wasted days of driving back and forth never to win anything, only to loose more. Good God the torture we have let ourselves endure. I have often thought about you saying “ placing the first bet, you might as well stand In front of a firing squad” (something like that) I can’t tell you how many times i’ve Heard the words but still…. “off to the races” only to walk out thinking “why did I not listen to those words.. oh well all we can do is dust off and keep on trying right?? It really is as easy as surrending to God but that Damm devil has such a foot hold. The good news we can still break free and not give him another foot hold.

[jen3]

Thanks for the advise i-did-it, there are several casinos in all different directions, each ~ 2 hours away. As silly as it sounds I would not waste the numerous drives to go ban myself from all of them. Plus It would be a waste of time because they are all so big and do not enforce the ban.  I know that if I was not banned from my local casnino I would have had several more screw ups than I had over the past several months. 

[jen3]

It’s day 16. I want nothing more than to plop myself in front of a slot machine or belly up to a card table. Not going to happen. I have plans with my son. Actually I never really gambled on the weekends he is with me and not by his dads… there is always later next week/weekend. However I have less than 300.00 till next pay and I will not go without a bigger bank roll. That way I have more to loose chasing losses. How crazy is that? . I know that if I really wanted to go to casino, i unfortunately have other ways to get money. I banned myself from a casino close to home so the two hour drive to another one does help as a deterrent. I banned myself 5 times from the casino near me. They do not offer lifetime bans only one year. I must have the record on self bans at that casino in one lifetime. I have to keep reminding myself of how I felt just a few weeks ago. Driving 2 hours to get home after being up for 36 hours. The tears, the regret, the shame, the fear of what’s to come, the racing thoughts… you know, the good ole hangover. Did I mention I looked like hell because I am a smoker but very occasional, however while gambling I chain smoke than my skin looks like I was dragged face down across cement. . Do I really want to feel that way again??? Never! At least not today.

[jen3]

I-did-it I am glad you are filling your time. I hope it’s a fun filled gamble free weekend. However I am wondering if you paid things or put the money from your check somewhere where you can’t get your hands on it??

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