[jen3]

Thanks IDI. I finally figured it out (with your help) and planned on jumping on and darn it. I starting monkey around and by the time I looked at the clock I just missed it. Is it everyday?? Or just certain days?

[jen3]

I am sorry you are struggling Liz! Lean into God with everything you have. He will help you. Praying for you.

[jen3]

I am sorry you are struggling Liz! Lean into God with everything you have. He will help you. Praying for you.

[jen3]

Hi IDI! I am sorry you are re-living pain. I think when we are not gambling old hurts sneak in…. maybe one of the reasons we gambled was not to feel pain. Ironic because we only end up feeling another kind of pain… very proud of you… you are doing great. Praying for all of us that we keep on the right path, get on the right path… I sure am glad for this site and knowing there are many people who can relate and understand our addiction or I would feel pretty alone in this world.. Keep going strong my friend!! Hey I want to get In on one of these groups but I am so confused as to the days and times… when are u usually thier and is it green mountain time??

[jen3]

Thanks IDI. I feel better. But was just wishing I could do things in moderation. I was just sitting here thinking “many years ago I gambled maybe 4 or 5 times a week. I have not gambled that often for several years but when I do it’s a binge, same thing when I drink. I fdi not do it often but again it’s binge, than I eat like crap the next day, same thing…. I binge eat. Oh well I rather binge drink and eat than binge gamble any day mainly because it’s easy to bounce back from those binges.

[jen3]

Day 25. Not much to say, just just happy that I have no plans to gamble at least for this week. I am sure the thoughts will come and go but the last few days have been good because I have had no thoughts at all.

[jen3]

Great job Vera! I was worried when you mentioned “I hope I do not take the wrong exit” Always such a relief when we wake up after a day of no gambling.

[jen3]

Hi P! I was just thinking of you. It took me awhile to find your thread. It does not look like you have been here is almost a year. I am wondering if you are still doing well. (I hope so)

[jen3]

We have to use our sensible brains as much as we can. The other one destroys us. You are doing great IDI!!

[jen3]

Wow I-did-it I never knew you changed your name. I just asked Vera about “sad” not too long ago. Lol

[jen3]

Not feeling too good today. Self induced. Had a little too much fun yesterday and paying for it dearly. The good news though…. no thoughts of gambling at least for today.

[jen3]

Thanks! I-did-it. One minute I am relieved one minute I am mad and or sad. I love the city, love the drinks, the food, the people watching But unfortunately I am a compulsive gambler and would most likely miss out on all those things sitting in a casino. Even if I managed to do both I know in my gut the trip would of cost me a fortune and I would be coming back miserable on Monday night (Two weeks before Christmas) We just have to keep making the right choices and seeing the good in it.

[jen3]

Oops I meant to put the last post on my thread. Oh well. Lol

[jen3]

I want to be Free! Satan is a thief and he has stole from me too many times. He sneaks in and whispers “it’s ok, just play a little, go get some money than quit. If he is not whispering those words it’s,,, “you are never gonna beat this, you are a looser, you are pethadic”. Ugggh! Today I went to a gas station to grab something to drink. I thought “buy a few scratch offs, it can not hurt.” Than i pictured myself scratching away like a crazy monkey. I thought “ if I win a little I will just reininvest, if I win a lot I will eventually reinvest, wether it be on scratch offs or something else. If I do not win anything I will just keep playing like a mad women. In other words what’s the point of even trying. Scratch offs are not even my struggle but I thought about it and they would just be the bait that would eventually lead me to my struggle, “ the devils den, the casino” I walked out the door with nothing but my coffee. Yeah me.! Just a little battle BUT i won.

[jen3]

I get it Liz! Our addiction is so hideous. Every time I relapse, I feel aweful and swear off gambling for good. If only it were that easy. I am the queen of relapse. It’s only been 3 weeks g free and at times the thoughts can be overwhelming. I hate it. We are worth a gamble free life! Eventually we will get it. You have a Great day too!

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