[jen3]

I did buy some to stick in Christmas basket we made for Grandpa. I have managed not to scratch them yet. Strange because I never even gave a crap about them before. Back in my college days 25 years ago I learned my lesson. I would visit a freind working at gas station and keep buying them because I just knew the big winner was coming and I would always leave out a 100.00 or 2. That was a lot of money back than! I was able to say “the he’ll with this” and never buy again. Of course looking back I only moved on to other types of gaming. Lol. Something is different this time and like you said I believe It is God helping me. It has to be because I know I can not manage to stay gamble free without him.. IDI I mentioned to a few that they should read the book Beyond Addicitons by Jeff Rudd. It is Awsome!! You should read it too. Your doing Great and it will help to keep you moving in the right direction.

[jen3]

I am sorry Vera! I know you want to sweep this one under the rug and move on and you should move on but you should try to prevent the next relapse. You have more wisdom than anyone here. (No offense to anyone). We have to figure out a way for you to get back on track.. I was thinking exactly what IDI said…,, it must be something with your son and the holidays. Have you read the book Beyond Addictions? It’s by Jeff Rudd. I suggested it to Liz and I hope you read it too. (IDI I think you will like it too)

[jen3]

Tomorrow will be 30 days. Maybe my 50th 30 day mark but at least i never give up on giving up. Got paid today. Went and paid some extra money towards my car loan. I think I will have it paid off in 2 more years which is a few years early as long as I keep giving them the money vs the casino. A few bills paid and a little extra to my other 1/2 to hold on to. I still have some money but not enough to send me running to a casino. I believe I am safe from gambling at least for awhile. :). Although it’s not funny I still have to laugh. I was in the grocery store today and I put something back on the shelf because I knew I could get it a 1.00 cheaper somewhere else. The sh…t I will do to save a 1.00 yet I would throw hundred dollar bills around at a casino like they were from a Monopoly game. Uggggh what a nut!

[jen3]

I had the same thoughts only of buying some scratch offs. Vs bingo “What harm can 20.00 worth of scratch offs do?? Uhm let me see the 20.00 will turn into 40.00 than 60.00 than 80.00 than 100.00 etc etc. (still a lot less than what I would drop in a casino) But what’s the point. I can take that and take a freind to dinner or buy something to show for it. Keep thinking the right thoughts IDI. It’s funny because I ask myself “why could I not rationalize gambling the way I am now years ago?” Who knows maybe it was not my time… who knows maybe I will slip again someday… BUT not today. 😉

[jen3]

Good to hear. (Well not the part about wanting to drop 🙂 )

[jen3]

Way to go!! I can relate. (Most likley we all can) I believe In time the roller coaster of emotions will lesson. One can only hope.

[jen3]

I wish I could send you a copy. It really is worth the read. I think it will help more than you can imagine right now. (I just have a gut feeling it will hit home for you)

[jen3]

You can do it!!! It’s an aweful addiction that’s for sure. I have been struggling for 20 plus years myself. (Closer to 25) stoped counting the total losses years ago at well over a million and a 1/2 so I can only imagine the real total. At times I am surprised to still be alive but I have a son who needs me. (I like to think) Anyways glad you found your way here and I hope this is your last day 3. 🙂 Best to you!

[jen3]

You have been pretty quite. I hope everything is ok??

[jen3]

Day 28.. not too many urges. For now I understand “gambling is just not an option for me” the thought actually makes me sick. Cause instead of thinking what I could pay or have if I won, I turn my thoughts into what I don’t have because of the of gambling. It’s not just about the money and material things, it’s about the lost time, the missing out of being present in special moments, missed opportunities a long the way etc. I went to my sons Orchestra concert last night. I got a little tearey eyed thinking about how fast time goes. I am blessed to have him as a son. He really is a good kid all the way around. I could dwell on what I do not have but today I feel overwhelming greatful even for the little things in life.

[jen3]

Just hurry up and pay your bills and if thier is money left give it to someone to hold or put it where you can not easily access. No money=No Gambling=No Missery.

[jen3]

Yeah! Another gamble free day! The only way we will ever have any kind of savings.

[jen3]

I hope you find the book and I hope you feel better. Oh and have a Great Birthday!!

[jen3]

Not that I am one to give advise but have you ever read the book Beyond Addictions by Jeff Rudd?? . I highly recomend it. I am not much of a reader. I picked it up once and could not put it down. Read it cover to cover in a few days. It was very powerful. I did not gamble for ar least 5 months after reading it. I guess I should of re-read it from time to time to keep me in check. Anyways if you have not read it give it a try. I think you will enjoy it and it will really help. I am going to make it a priority to read again.

[jen3]

You can do it Liz!! I have been and will continue to pray for you. We can’t do it alone. We need God’s help. He can and will. Do they offer Celebrate Recovery meetings where you are from??

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