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jen3Participant
Way to go!!
jen3ParticipantHow are you doing Kin??? It sounds like you might of slipped by your post on another’s thread?? I hope I misunderstood. Either way I want you to know your post have had a great impact one. Please keep trying and keep coming back. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
jen3ParticipantSounds farmillar. I remember being in college and study for my exams while at the dog track. I have done it all track, sports betting, casinos (both cards and slots). I have been out of school for almost 25 years, but that is when the gambling started to get out of control… I am glad you are stoping. I hope you get the help you need. You have your whole life ahead of you. Do not blow it like I did. Over 2.5 million, all th ewadted days, never being fully present and 25 years later and still only on day 12.. I guess what I am trying to say is once we cross that line it only gets worse. Put whatever you put into gambling into your recovery. I wish you well!
jen3ParticipantI was relieved last night that I did not blow off the day to gamble. Even though I did not work very hard, things were accomplished. Had I gambled I suppose last night would have been a restless night or I would still be up chassing.. Funny thing is eventhough I was relieved I woke up today feeling the same , wanting to blow off the day. I won’t because I have things to do and plans with my son this weekend and I do not want to mess them up. I still wonder will these darn desires to gamble ever go away??? In my thoughts I think “oh it will be fun or relaxing”. Why don’t I think “it will be nothing but??”
jen3ParticipantLiz , I get it. I have felt the same way numerous times throughout my life. Not sure if I would be here either if it was not for my son, a blessing from God. You are playing right into the Devils hand. He wants you to doubt God and or believe he does not care, You have a House right?, a job? a car ? Children and Grand kids who you obviously love very much. You tell me….. where is God?? It’s not easy at times but try to be grateful for what you do have vs being angry at what you do not (or angry with your circumstances)
jen3ParticipantYou are certainly not alone. I can relate on many levels. I have always been very generous to many of my friends and family who never seem to reciprocate. On the other hand thier are a few people who I have taken advantage of over the years that I can never fully repay. Back to being alone. You are not. God is with you now and he will be with you when this storm passes. Lean into him. He will provide everything you need. Keep the faith Liz. Maybe you could open up to your sister?? Maybe she could help you.????
jen3ParticipantYou are doing good! Stay strong. I pray you find the courage to tell your husband so he can maybe help you..
jen3ParticipantThanks Sherrie! I have to start taking my own adicice. 🙂
jen3ParticipantHi T! You are doing Great making all the right moves and staying positive. I am still laughing. I picture you laughing (eventhough I have no clue what u look like) and than I bust out laughing. It feels good to laugh doesn’t it??? Hopefully we will have many more laughs and a lot less tears along the way. :). I forget or maybe I am not sure where you are from but you should google Celebrate Recovery and see if they offer any meetings near you. Just a thought.
jen3ParticipantDay 11. Had a thought of blowing the day off and gambling…. Not today, not going to happen because I do not want to wreck the weekend coming up spendt chassing losses. (Chain smoking, shuffling money around, adding and subtracting, blah, blah, blah ). Heck even if I were to win it would just set me up for future loss. Besides it’s not even about winning or losing anymore, maybe it never was. It’s just a bad habit that offers nothing but chaos. It makes me angry that It would even cross my mind. I suppose I will always have to deal with those thoughts. Praying they lesson with time. Going to try and be the best version of me today. The gambling me is the worst version. Turns me into a rabid pitbull. Ugly!
jen3ParticipantYou got this Nick! Keep coming back.
jen3ParticipantJust got off chat. A good group of people. I am still laughing. I have faith that 2019 is going to be the beginning of a great milestone for us…. It will not be easy but it will be worth it.
jen3ParticipantHi Sherrie! I have been having some strange dreams lately. I can only remeber bits and pieces. I wonder what they mean or if they even matter. No gambling dreams for awhile. I hate the ones where we win and than wake up. Lol… I like the ones where we are loosing and chasing and are relieved to wake up and realize it’s just a dream. Had far too many real life gambling experiences when I wished it was just a dream/nightmare. Sorry I am rattling on your thread, I to did not sleep well and have been wide awake since 3:30 am. Ugggh!
jen3ParticipantDay 10. Yesterday was a good day. I suppose any day with out gambling is a good day. Day 10 is nothing for me because I am more of a binge gambler. Years ago it was 4-5 times a week. How I ever managed to hold a job and other responsibilities is beyond me. I suppose I thrive on stress. Now when I gamble it’s after a month or two of not (Except when on a chase than it’s 3-4 days in a row) Either way, the results and damage is still the same. My head was all over the place yesterday. I had many thoughts of gambling. I still do. However I do understand that if those thoughts turn into action, the action will only turn into misery. I can’t help but wonder if they will ever go away. It’s such a crazy cycle. Gamble, cause chaos, wonder how and why the heck i I did it, wish I would of done it different, hate gambling and the thought of it, bound and determined not to, storm passes and than start the cycle over. Seems to be the pattern of many of us here. I have to break this cycle. It’s funny how I have so much advice to offer yet it’s so hard to take my own.. No plans to gamble today. I just want God to take any and all desire away.
jen3ParticipantGreat post! You got this! You have a strong plan in place. I am still trying to figure out how to give up control of money because I understand if I have no money I can not gamble. I am more than willing but as easy as it sounds it’s really complicated. You will be amazed at how a small block of time without gambling can turn things around. I wish you well! You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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