[jen3]

Great job! You can and you will.

[jen3]

Добра работа! Можете и ще го направите.

[jen3]

Goed werk! U kunt en u zult.

[jen3]

How ya doing T??

[jen3]

Day 17. I was paid today. My check was 360.00 more than I thought it would be. I am going straight to the bank and getting cashiers checks to pay bills. They will be paid early and the extra will go towards my car. The devil on one shoulder tells me “use some of the money to gamble maybe you can make more” than the logical one on my other shoulder says “do not do it, let’s make 2019 the best in years” look around you, gambling offers nothing but misery. I imagine we will always be tempted but I also long for the day the temptation lessons. Not going backwards. I refuse to go backwards!

[jen3]

Hi IDI! Sorry I missed you yesterday. I came back and waited but than I had to go. I am so glad you were on unable to gamble. I have been worried because I knew you were getting your loan. IDI, I know there is nothing I can say or do to keep you from gambling once your mind is made up. However I am going to try…… Go back to where you were before you had to apply for loan. You were miserable, you even wanted to apply to go inpatient. Nothing is going to change if you decide to gamble. You will just end up worse off than you were before. I know it’s so dang hard to stop the insanity. I myself would like to go play this weekend… however I do not want to deal with the aftermath. I can’t take another gambling hangover. Even if I was successful and did not dump money, it will just encourage me to try again another time and eventually it will lead to the same old tears…. Think it through my freind… I want you to have that new kitchen set and whatever else it is you want. Satan on the other hand, well he wants you to be miserable. Don’t let him win.. Now is the time to lean on God, Not after the damage is done. Hopefully I am able to take my own advice.

[jen3]

Way to go Beem! Keep doing what is working. Sometimes once we start to feel better we forget the misery that caused us to want to stop gambling in first place.. (just speaking from my own experience)

[jen3]

You said it Vera! That is exactly how I felt a few times last week. “ a lot on the mind, I will just go block it out”. I was able to think it through all the way to the hangover. I never want to experience one again. I worry about next weekend as I do not have my son and will have time on my hands. I will just have to come up with something better to do with my time. There are a ton of other things I could do but seems I have no energy or interest. I will force myself to try something new. If nothing changes than nothing changes.

[jen3]

I am sorry Liz! I am very empathetic for everyone who battles this addiction. I just hate it. If it’s not me playing with the devil , it’s someone else and it sucks! I am glad it was not too damaging but I know it still hurts mentally. I still hope you get that book and read it. It’s not the cure but it did help me a lot. I should take my own damm advice and read it again. Thinking of you today and always.

[jen3]

Sorry K! Life can be so darn difficult could you imagine how much worse it would be if you were still gambling. Your in my thoughts and prayers.

[jen3]

I understand it will not be easy telling him. However I do think it will be a load off your shoulders when you do. Who knows everyone is in a diffrent situation but from my own experience I feel it’s best to “lay all our cards on the table. When we stop living a lie it’s easier on ourselfs period. Just my thoughts.

[jen3]

Now there’s the Liz I am routing for. :). I have much faith in you!

[jen3]

Sherrie! I have said and thought all of the above about myself. You are not a stupid idiot. You are someone who has a disease … yes!!! I do not care what anyone thinks. Gambling addiction is a disease. With that being said, we can do whatever it takes to keep it from destroying us. Tomorrow is a new day. I hope it is better than today. Hang in there my friend. I have faith in you.

[jen3]

Awe Sherrie! I am so sorry that this addiction got a hold of you. I have been right where you are, time and time again. Do not beat yourself up. There is nothing you can do about what is already done. Well done, putting a barrier in place. I am thinking of you and pray you get the courage to tell your husband and that he will support you in the best way he can. You can do this!

[jen3]

Day 1 of week 3. Thursday and Friday were tough, as they were filled with thoughts of gambling. Yesterday was a good day, spending quality time with my son. Today,,, I am relieved I did not give into temptation and I have no urges . I have a terrible headache and I am full of rage, snapping at everyone and everything. Wonder if it’s withdral or just me??? Either way I would rather feel this way without gambling than the way I feel after..

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