[jen3]

Come back Vera! I miss you my friend. I miss your words of wisdom.. know that you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

[jen3]

How have you been doing Kin??

[jen3]

Wow! 150 days. That must feel so good. You’re young and have lots of life ahead of you. Keep living it g free.

[jen3]

Day 4. Really does not mean much being the early days but as I mentioned i want to watch the days add up and never have to start over. Thanks for the advise Ican. I think I will get rid of my atm card altogether and just use cash. Small amount of course. The only thing that sucks is that is so easy to replace. Walk into my bank and they give me one. I have to make impossible to get my hands on more than what I need. Still not exactly sure what/how.

[jen3]

If you can just get some gamble free time behind you they will stop spinning. Their have been several times after going on gambling binges that I would see them damm wheels spinning in my sleep for days. (Even awake for that matter) IDI you are spiritual, maybe pray ask God to take and keep the urges alway. Ask him to change the desires of your heart. I know I do not have the best track record to give advice BUT I really am going to lean on him with everything I have in hopes that this is the time… gambling has done nothing for us. I am sure we do not even like it but our addicted brains tell us different.

[jen3]

I agree I need more barriers. I am banned from local casino but snuck in and the relapses before that were when I was out of town for work. I have to figure out how to have no access to extra money.. always been hard to figure that out.

[jen3]

Get right back up IDI! You can do this. If not for yourself than do it for your son. F the lotto! We could win all the money in the world and it would never be enough.

[jen3]

I do not struggle with urges after the “hurricane” I guess I am a pattern gambler. (Something like that) every 30-60 days or so my brain does not remember the chaos Gambling causes an off I go and repeat the same costly cycle. Hopefully this time is different and I can stay ahead of any relapse if that makes any sense.

[jen3]

Great message. Thanks for sharing.

[jen3]

I can relate TE. We can do this. We just have to put the energy we put into gambling into whatever it takes to stop the madness.

[jen3]

Read through your thread! Way to go! Keep on going! Can I ask what the message was from Murr?

[jen3]

Thanks Meghan! It’s pretty scary when I look at my track record. I have been struggling with this crap for 30 years. The most clean time I have had was for 9 months over 12 years ago. Been on this site on and off for over 10. I am praying this is the time. I never want to come back here with my tail between my legs again.

[jen3]

Day 3. Not much to say today. Just hoping to watch the days add up. Going back to CR tonight. I know I have to stay active in recovery or eventually I will be back at day one and I hope to NEVER go their again.

[jen3]

Thank you for your post IDI! Yes let’s keep on track this time. We can do it. We just have to stay ahead of our addiction. A friend of mine who struggles with a different addiction (all the same) and is in therapy everyday told me “it’s not our fault” even when we do not want to do something our brains tell us we do. Not sure how to fix that but as I mentioned try to stay ahead of it if that makes any sense.

[jen3]

Sorry Kin but I disagree.  It’s day 2 for me and it’s better than day one. (Kind of day 3 but since I left the casino after midnight Sunday, I made Tuesday day one.

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