[jaymay22]

I should probably move on from this forum If I keep being told “one day at a time” every time I try to share something vulnerable to me. I would like to request the admin to please remove my thread as I am logging out and won’t be signing back here. Thank you to everyone who have helped and been well-wishers. Good luck to everyone on their journeys.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by jaymay22.

[jaymay22]

For how long one day at a time? I think staying gamble free won’t matter much if I lose control of my health and end up sick. I am only asking for ideas to stay active, not asking for the reminder of one day at a time with all due respect.

[jaymay22]

Hello, 20th day here without gambling. I was feeling a bit down couple of days ago and my mind was instantly switched towards finding comfort in gambling but then another thought came across my mind ” If I don’t gamble, I won’t have any financial issues” and this thought put a brake to my initial thoughts. Yesterday was also my most productive day of the year in terms of work. I need to find more hobbies or activities that I can do in times of hardship and mental stress. Any ideas? I used to exercise but haven’t been exercising for quite some time now. I think I have put on a lot of weight due to binge eating, work stress and financial stress which are probably exhausting me mentally as well. the saying, ” you are what you eat” is true. My first step was to quit gambling, now I have to take control of my health, start eating healthy, and be more physically active.

[jaymay22]

hello, just an update to what has developed so far in my journey I got one of my small payments today. Eventually, I decided to pay nearly half of what I owed to capital as discussed previously. Usually by this time, I pay off my smaller credit card in full and then go on to gamble the credit card’s money plus my own money, but I haven’t tried doing that tonight. The reason why I paid off half right now, not full is because I didn’t want to feel as If I lost a lot of money from my account, and this could potentially trick my mind into thinking that I have to recover this money back from slots and I know this story has been played over and over in my mind and the result is always the same, lose it all, then put more out of my pocket and then play every week or two from other direct deposits until I hit the wall. I want to break this cycle by doing something different. I will pay off the other half either next week or before the deadline. I read about the pink cloud syndrome in one of the other posts and I could relate to that. I have had good and positive feelings ever since I decided to be gambling free. I am not sure how long this feeling will last but I will do everything I can in my power to limit my access to money and to places where I could gamble. I am almost 2 weeks in without gambling. Cheers to everyone who are striving to do better and who have been successful in their journeys of gambling free life.

[jaymay22]

@kin Yes, one day at a time. I am thinking about getting a customized wall art for my room which has these words ” One day at a time” written on it.

[jaymay22]

Hello, it’s been a minute since I posted here. I am on day 10 and I am still gambling free. There have been some positive developments in the past couple of days in terms of my work life. I have been so clear headed now that my focus is on the job these days and I truly feel from inside that I am no longer working for the purpose of having gambling budget. I added more responsibilities and projects into my work schedule, and I feel good about it at the moment. I can visualize my goal now and I am working towards the goal. I hope everyone is doing great and striving to do better.

[jaymay22]

Hi @Losingitslowly, I am doing well thank you and hope you are well too :). I am still on track, and I believe today is my 6th day and I’ve already forgotten the feeling of sadness from when I lost last time and it’s a familiar feeling and I am consciously aware of this now and I am preparing myself for the day when I will get a deposit because that will be the hardest day for me, and I have no choice but get through this speed breaker. Thank you for the tip on closing credit card. As soon as I pay it off, I will most likely close it or just give the credit card to my father. this is my oldest or the first credit account. I am not sure how it will impact my credit score, but I am 100% not using it and will most likely be closing it. If they are going to give me hard time, I will use your way.

[jaymay22]

It’s been a really productive day today. I helped few friends with their moving today and I just hung out with them for most of the day. I didn’t get any gambling urges today. I was really missing this social aspect from life. I figured that there’s so much to live for than just gambling. IF you can get occupied with friendly company and IF you take interest in your own family and surroundings in general, this is so much better than gambling where you feel all alone even if your friends gamble with you. You still feel alone because you are putting your own money on the line, not them. Normally, I tend to gamble on Sunday since I take off from work on Sundays and I usually gamble to relax or so to speak kill time, but I didn’t do that today. I am back home now, and I feel good about how my day went. I am going to watch a movie, some show or documentary for a bit and then go to sleep. I hope everyone is doing great and I hope they find interest in their social circles. It’s important to be surrounded by positive and friendly people. This is my lesson for today.

[jaymay22]

@LosingitSlowly, your rant was very valuable. Thank you for taking the time to share your story. You and so many others on this forum give me hope of better and bright future. I am taking this challenge one day at a time. I am not thinking too far ahead now. You are right about everything you said. I can relate to most of what you said. Hopefully, one day I will have made enough progress that people can also look up to me as an example and that it is possible to live gamble free life. These are testing times for me, and I have to come out on top. I won’t lie I did get some gambling urges and thoughts today, but I quickly distracted myself and they went away. I tend to visit this forum few times a day for few minutes, so that I keep getting inspired and keep reminding myself of all the beautiful things I can do If I just don’t gamble.

[jaymay22]

Hi Kin! hope you are doing good! Thank you for the important message. I needed to hear this because it is true. Gambling thoughts can come at any time.

[jaymay22]

@losingitalways. Thank you for your message. It seems like I am seeing my future in your story which is kind of scary to even think, but I really hope and believe that this is my lowest point even though it may not be the lowest point for others. I have never missed any payments and I would like to believe that I am taking good care of my people, house or anything that needs taking care of in my life, but I know now that I can get to another lowest point If I don’t stop right now. This is why I am determined this time. My first goal is to get through 5th or 6th and pay off $800 that I owe to capital one. I will close that card once I have paid that off, so that I no longer have access to that card. In terms of my other credit cards with larger credit limits combining around $25k, I will simply give all my credit cards to my parents until I am confident and will only use my debit card from now on. I need to plan this out from now. the other step I am going to take right now is transfer money to my father’s account every month until I am sure that I can handle my money. My father probably has an idea that I gamble but we don’t talk about it. I used to feel that it was enough that I was paying off the mortgage and taking care of some of the fixed expenses but in the hindsight, I believe that I am not being fair not just to myself but to my people as well. I work hard to earn this money and I could easily save $4-5k every month after all expenses paid which is almost equal to the maximum jackpot of the slot machine’s games where I regularly pay. We don’t have any big casinos near our house, so my go to place is rather a small place with limited players and jackpots. I am somewhat relieved today that I am still positive on day 2 of gambling free thoughts. I just need to instill these positive thoughts into my mind every day, so that it becomes a habit. I don’t remember where I heard this, but someone said that it takes 30 days to break a habit and I can’t wait for Aug. 21, 2022 to come.

• This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by jaymay22.

[jaymay22]

it’s been 24 hours since the last time I touched slot machines. In the last couple of years, the most I have stayed away from gambling was probably 2 weeks’ time, but it wasn’t because I had the will to stop myself rather the main reason was that I didn’t have enough funds or budget to feed this addiction. My real test will be when I get paid from my primary job on 13th. I am expecting another payment around 5th or 6th next month. that will be a smaller payment and I usually blow smaller payments away within a day or two. I feel so irritated even thinking about it because it takes a lot of effort and hard work to make this money and I blow it away in few hours. I work remotely for two companies (employee based and as an independent contract both). whenever I lose money to machines, I always find comfort in binge eating and just shutting down for a day. I feel like the problem with me is more than just a gambling problem. Is gambling addiction a mental illness? I honestly feel that it is because the day I get paid and If I have some money sitting in my account, I cannot focus on my work and I can usually spend long hours sitting in front of the computer when my account is on low funds because I know If I don’t work, I won’t get paid and I won’t have my fixed bills paid on time. I don’t know where to find that motivation to work with money being saved in my account every month. I have forgotten how this feels like. It seems like my brain is wired in a way that it only wants to work when I am in need of money and not want to work when I’ve got money. More than 50% of my income comes from an independent contractual job which means that I can set my own schedule and work as little or as much as I can and how ever I want. I got to stop relating money savings with work. Yes, I want to work as much as I can to save but I don’t want to overdo it and feel exhausted and find slot machines as an escape route again. It doesn’t make any sense now that I think about it. What am I putting in this effort for? I don’t want money to be the driving factor in order for me to put in work hours. I want to work because I love this work and I want to work to have a better future. Let the day 2 begin. I am ready for this challenge. It’s going to be hard next few weeks. IF I can break this 2-week cycle, this will be a big win for me as I haven’t had a break longer than 2 weeks in 2-3 years. I have also been reading some of journals here. I am sorry that I am not that active on other posts, but I will try to respond and encourage others when I can. I appreciate everyone being here and reading this. I wish everyone the best in their journey.

[jaymay22]

Thank you, kin and Don, for words of encouragement. I need to take baby steps and one day at a time. I know I am not the only going through this and I know I can do this. I have done it before, but I am determined this time. I am not being shy away from getting help and probably help others by sharing my story.

[jaymay22]

Hello! It might sound like a silly idea but if you are still holding onto good amount of profit, then try to share some of that with some one who is in need of money ( may be a stranger you know for sure is struggling or some charity). you might feel less annoyed by doing this because you will be making some difference in some one’s life or making some one’s day better. you sound like a millionaire, so even if you are not in profit, you could still help others if you aren’t already doing it. Just throwing some ideas for you to feel less annoyed or even happy 🙂

[jaymay22]

Привет! Это может показаться глупой идеей, но если вы все еще держите приличную прибыль, попробуйте поделиться ею с кем-нибудь, кто нуждается в деньгах (может быть, это незнакомец, которого вы точно знаете, или какая-то благотворительность) . вы можете чувствовать себя менее раздраженным, делая это, потому что вы что-то измените в чьей-то жизни или сделаете день лучше. Вы говорите как миллионер, поэтому, даже если вы не получаете прибыли, вы все равно можете помогать другим, если еще не делаете этого. Просто подбросьте несколько идей, чтобы вы чувствовали себя менее раздраженными или даже счастливыми 🙂

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