[JayKay82]

Keep up the good work Jonny. Days become weeks, weeks become months etc.

[JayKay82]

Here i am closing in on 9 weeks gamble free. The hard part for me is to get my Fiance to trust me. She thinks i am gambling even when i can prove i haven’t been. It is hard for both of us, given that this addiction is based largely on deception and hiding. Lets be honest, any of us can be pretty sneaky if we think we need to put a bet on.

So the first Grand Slam of the year is back on. We usually try and get a few matches in for the tennis. I know she will be thinking in the back of her head that i will be gambling on it. But i wont, im done for definite, even though i will admit it will be a test to stay away.

But now it leaves me with the predicament that i will have to go home and reassure her that i wasn’t gambling. Does that seem fair always having to justify your actions (or non actions) ? Is it another form of punishment for bad choices, like having to pay gambling debts with hard earned money ? None of the above most likely, it is just the way it is until we can get past it. I suppose its something that will just take time.

[JayKay82]

Your right Jonny. Its when we think we have it beaten and can control it that it rears its ugly head. Trick is to let it pass and move on with your life.

Hope you are keeping well

[JayKay82]

Hi Jonny,

Thanks again for keeping in the loop on my thread. Seems like your doing a lot better these days. I hope your physical recovery is swift. I think when it comes to gambling you need to take your time. I hate my debts, but i have learned that gambling wont solve that, the only thing that gambling brings is more misery and more debt. I’m sure i’m just stating the obvious, you know it all yourself. Stay strong mate, dont let your debts be a trigger for gambling.

[JayKay82]

Thanks for the support Jonny. Quitting gambling has been the easy part, re-building trust and being honest to thoes around us is slightly harder.

Had a bit of a blow out this week with my Fiance. She thought i was gambling again, which i am not. She had every right to be upset and angry, mainly because i have not included her in my recovery. But as i said in my earlier posts, i dont need anyone else to trust me, i need to trust myself. Its all well and good leaning on others for support, what happens when you have to spend an hour, a day or a week alone. Can you trust yourself ? Well thats what i am building towards, i am learning and things are becomming easier. I know i will beat this and i must now put some actions in place to rebuild that trust. All in all, things are positive going forward.

[JayKay82]

This day 8 weeks ago i placed my last bet. Of course that was after i told myself id never gamble again. I remember thinking, who cares and who will know anyway. Was a small bet but after i placed it i remember thinking, god i hope i loose, if i win ill just keep going. Thankfully i did loose, I may aswell have given the money to charity, at least then it would have had a purpose.

I think from that point on i realized that i really don’t have any control when it comes to gambling, and a total disregard for hard earned money.

Anyway i dont plan on gambling today, and tomorrow is week 8 gamble free.

[JayKay82]

Hi Johnny, Thanks for your post on my thread, your a good man. I have found in the past that i have told myself, right so, im going to quit after i clear this credit card. I have the best of intentions, but it never works out that way. Over and over again i would tell myself the same thing, reality is that every time i go back to it, it makes things worse. I have made the decision, doing my best to follow through, not to place that first bet, not to chase my losses anymore and get my life back on track. Hope you find this helpful.

[JayKay82]

Stay with it Roberto. Easier said than done at times i know. However the longer you stay away from gambling the easier it is to stay away. Days gamble free become weeks and weeks become months. You can do it.

[JayKay82]

It is a strange addiction gambling. I hate gambling, and i hate what it has done to me financially and mentally in the past. More recently i have been very much in control of it. Today i found €20 in my pocket, its like bonus money when that happens. I had a brief thought, i wonder if i could double it wouldnt that be great, and if i lost it, what harm because i never knew i had it in the first place.

That thought only lasted a few seconds and then i moved on with my day. I have learned to understand that i can never place a bet again, because when it comes to gambling i have no control whatsoever. That is the undeniable truth, i can never place a bet again or else i know for sure the cycle will start again. At first i might say sure one small bet will do, i am in control. In reality that is not even close to the truth, i am nowhere near in control when gambling.

7 plus weeks gamble free. I am going to make 8 and more.

[JayKay82]

Tomorrow is week 7 gamble free. I missed a week in there being busy with all the xmas activities. I am lucky in ways, gambling rarely crosses my mind these days, there used to be a time i could not go an hour without looking for some bet to put on, anything at all even if i didnt know what the sport was or who was playing, borderline insane ….

Whenever i am in the company of people who are talking about bets they have placed or adds on tv, or walking past betting shops i shudder and think how much i hate those organisations for taking advantage of us all.

It is an addiction, and like most addictions it is beatable. But only we can beat it, not to say we need to do it alone but we need to be able to trust ourselves when nobody is there to tell us stop.

Wishing everybody a GF 2017.

[JayKay82]

Hi Jonny,

Hope you are recovering well from your surgery. Sorry to hear that you have had such a hard time lately. Great time for a fresh start, next time you have an “urge”, instead of gambling take a time out and read your thread. Remember how it made you feel when you were gambling, i have found that has helped me. Wishing you a great 2017, this is the year you can quit for good.

[JayKay82]

Thanks Vera and Johnny. Week 5 gamble free. Happy new year to everybody, great time to start fresh and keep the recovery going

[JayKay82]

Been quite busy with work lately. Entering week 4 gamble free now. A month is a long time and if it wasn’t for my relapse I wonder how I would be feeling now ? If. I hadn’t relapsed I might be better off financially but the urge might also still be festering inside me. Take it as luck or something higher but I am grateful to have an outlet and a way that keeps me away from gambling. I am not finding it hard to stay away, if reading the stories here has thought me anything it’s that only misery that comes from gambling and we are all truly happier when we stay away. I Hope everybody can find enough strength to stay away long enough to see that life can be so good without gambling.

[JayKay82]

Week 3 Gamble free.

[JayKay82]

Monday again. Got a head cold and feeling sorry for myself. These smallest things are usually a trigger for me. Not today, I am closing in on three weeks gamble free and feeling good. Best of wishes to everybody battling this terrible addiction. Stay away from that first bet and give yourself a fighting chance .

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