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“And I have failed every time. Since Easy Way, I can party and have a great time with them, with no anxiety whatsoever while they smoke pot and drink, and I do not. I have lemonade and snacks, listen to music, get into philosophical discussions, and have a great time, but my desire for the pot and alcohol is completely gone. In fact, I watch them and think, ‘why do they feel a need to do that to have a good time?’. ”
Now you’re talking. If I could say this about my gambling I would consider myself cured. What I’m trying to say is the following: because of my background and the fact that almost everyone I know is involved in gambling one way or another I often come across favorable bets and favorable situations. I come across people who are willing to sell their online dollars at a discount because they don’t want to cash it out to their bank accounts, I come across people who developed state of the art arbitrage betting software that yields very, very handsome returns, I come across people who are willing to take bets having the worst of it just for the sake of a thrill.
All this translates into thousand of euros worth in EV (expected value) every month. It would be easy money if I wasn’t a compulsive gambler. Yes, I used to take advantage of these favorable situations, but I wouldn’t limit myself to them. I would then (because money was available) go and gamble it away where I had the worst of it.If I wasn’t a problem-gambler I could have a nice supplement to my income, but alas…
What’s the point of buying $5K online for $4K in cash if I’m gonna gamble it away rather than withdraw it or resell it?
I would consider myself a non-gambler if I was able to limit my “gambling” to situations where I have the best of it. I’m fairly good at identifying these, but because of my addiction I don’t limit myself to them.
Well, yes, the reason why I praised the easy way so much is that it gives you a different mindset, a different perspective on the whole thing, you kind of almost “reprogram” your brain and it works like a charm. Until it doesn’t.
A non-gambler in my mind is a person to whom gambling is what alcohol is to me. Alcohol doesn’t do anything for me. I have a glass of wine once a week, usually when my wife has it during lunch or dinner. I don’t particularly enjoy it, but it’s ok with certain kind of food and I never crave for more.
If you locked up my wife in a room full of movies and an online poker account with (her) money in it, she would not gamble, she would watch the movies. Whereas I would gamble and not watch the movies. That’s because she’s a non-gambler and I am a compulsive gambler.
I don’t think the line between us problem gamblers and non-gamblers is very thin or very blurred. I think it’s fairly easy to distinguish who is who.
You’re right, WHATEVER works is great. All I’m saying is be cautious. You’ve been clean for a month and it’s great, but it doesn’t mean you’re a non-gambler now. Geordie has a great quote “only because the monkey is off your back, it doesn’t mean the circus left town” 😀 😀 😀
I was, to the best of my knowledge, the first one to recommend that book to this forum. And it is a great book in its own right. But I think you’re reaching.
I don’t want to be negative or reproach you here, just playing the devil’s advocate.
First of all, YOU DON’T KNOW that you will never gamble again. If I had to lay odds, I would give you 20 to 1 that you will gamble again in the course of your life. Again, not being negative, just making a very educated guess.
You’re an American right? Have you have been to Vegas? Have you seen the Venetian, the Bellagio, the Cosmopolitan? I couldn’t believe humans could build such things. But I was wrong, they can. And they build them with money from people who just like you and me “knew” they would never gamble again.One problem I had with The Easy Way, apart from the pep-talk and solemn-promise crap was that it claims to make you a non-gambler. And at the same time it wants you to block all your accounts and limit your access to gambling every which way.
My wife is a non-gambler, and she can play a poker tournament once a year or once every 3 months no problem and not have the desire to play again. Why? Because she’s a non-gambler.You’re a gambler and you probably cannot do the same. You make one bet and all hell breaks loose.
I still swear by that book, but it does not make us NON-GAMBLERS. I’m a non-alcoholic and you can lock me up in a room full of alcohol for a month and I won’t touch it. Lock me up in a room with a poker account and some money in it and I’ll be gambling in matter of minutes.
I don’t know why that otherwise great book claims it will make us non-gamblers. We will always be compulsive gamblers. Some of the people on this forum haven’t gambled for 20 years and are still cautious and they still call themselves gamblers. And so should you.
I’ve talked to myself many times while gambling, trying to bring sense into that madness.
Last time I gambled on March 6, (I wrote this in one of my previous posts) I even imagined my son telling me “daddy, you promised you would not gamble”. It was the most vivid imagination I ever had, it felt so real it was scarey.
But I continued to gamble anyway… 🙁Mav, I love you man 😀 😀 😀
“Do not use Opera, only use Safari or Firefox”. Hahahahaha. You’re awesome!!! I really love you.
“Do not think of white bears, whatever you do.”You know, I have Opera installed, but I use it only for testing purposes for my websites. I never use it for anything else. But now that you said not to use it for gambling, I had to check would it let me gamble. Luckily K9 works fine with Opera too. Had it not be the case, I might be gambling now instead of writing this post.
Anyway, you guys GOT IT ALL WRONG regarding payouts, reversing payout etc. Most gambling websites are pretty good when it comes to withdrawing your funds once you verify your account. Of course, the option to reverse your cashout is there so we can gamble our money away rather than withdrawing it (and losing it on a different site), but that’s NOT THE POINT here.
What do you think, butchgirlie, would happen had you managed to cashout your money? Let’s say you cashed out ALL of it – 2600… What do you think would have happened? Would you A) come back here and continue your abstinence and never gamble again? or would you B) go back and gamble some more once the money cleared in your bank account?
Believe me, chances are in the long run you would lose that money anyway. Don’t blame it on gambling websites and their withdrawal policy. Once you (a CG) decide to gamble you can safely assume that money is GONE. It’s no more.
I lost $10K between Feb 22 and March 6 this year, after not gambling for 63 days. After losing the first 3k I solemnly promised myself that only if I won it back I would NEVER, NEVER, NEVER gamble again. I won back the 3K, but I continued to gamble only to lose it and lose much more. The day I lost the last 2500 I was up 4000 at one point. But I didn’t stop, I continued to gamble.
And had I won all my money back, chances are sooner than later I would gamble again and eventually lose. The only solution for us CG’s is NOT TO GAMBLE AT ALL.
Blaming it on gambling site, on this and that is irresponsible. It’s all us, it’s all our doing.Now that you know about Opera (thanks to Maverick 😀 😀 :D) i think there’s no point in proceeding with NetNanny. I recommend you install K9, it’s free and you don’t need anyone’s help if you do a little trick. Email me for details if you’re interested and I’ll help you install it and you won’t have to worry about gambling on your computer again. jansdad@yandex.com
Dang, K9 won’t let me open that link and i’m sure it’s good stuff… 😀
Dive into your work mate. I find nothing distracts my cravings for gambling well as day worth of honest work.
Getting yourself to start working is hard, but once you start it gets better and you don’t even think about gambling after a few minutes.
Yes, that’s what I meant when I said “it will take you a while”.
20 days and where you are in life right now is probably nowhere near enough to go and win your daughter back. But set a goal and work toward it. Being gamble free is just a prerequisite.I have a boy, he’s almost 8 and I try to be a really good dad. Probably because my father was never good.
Anyway, my boy doesn’t know I’m gambling. I mean he’s seen me playing poker online, just like he’s seen my playing Starcraft 2 (a video game), but he’s not aware how dangerous gambling is for me.
While I was on a gambling spree a couple of weeks ago I thought of a way to stop, I actively thought what could make me stop gamble. And then at one moment I vividly imagined my son telling me “but you promise you would not gamble any more”. That impression was so vivid and felt so real – it was scary.
But I continued to gamble just the same.How’re you doing butchgirl? Just like myself, you haven’t posted for while…
I had that too. Once you manage to refrain from gambling for a few weeks, you say to yourself “ok, this is fine, but WHAT NOW?”
I hate giving personal advise, it’s almost always borderline pointless, but I’ll make an exception here. Why don’t you try and figure out a plan to regain your daughter’s trust? That should take you a while and the project won’t leave much room for error. Meaning no gambling.