[Jacquespaul]

Hi all,
Thank you for reading…

Well I am so so much better.

I have settled with my sister in Essex; joined a local gym so train every day and go swimming. Play squash weekly and my training my family here on playing squash as well.
My 1 on 1 counselling sessions with Gamcare are continuing and have helped. (my depression score is now 1; it was 33 before xmas!).
I believe I am out of my Depression it seems with the help of medication and the changing situation and support.
In fact feel like I did 2 years ago with a positive life outlook once again.

I have re-read all my forum today and gee there was some sticky times in all of that, that i was lucky to come back alive from. (Glad I did).

Thankyou for all your posts over the months and your continuing support to others who have depression/ GA.

I still have another month off sick leave before a staged return to work no doubt and hopefully wont be doing shift work anytime in the future.

That’s it so far: 100% better.

Thankyou
Paul

[Jacquespaul]

Geordie’s story and words are not only wise but true life events

He had so much potential at an early age that didnt and couldn’t realized be because of gambling.

We don’t want this to happen to us. It did. But with the knowledge it could destroy your life and your loved ones I believe you can stop.

What are your hobbies/interests?

Kind regards
Paul

[Jacquespaul]

Hi Giorgio

Hope you are well. And this addiction is certainly a Terrible affliction and I am sorry you have this.

Good that you have recognised this and need help. It is very hard to get do this all by yourself.

I tried and failed and nearly ended up dead with suicide attempts.

My family saved me in my darkest hours and also many people on This site have been a glad resource.

Read my story and you will see you can easily recover and there is certainly a way ahead for you.

https://www.gamblingtherapy.org/en/first-post

Tell your family everything and that you need thier help. I am sute they will be there for you.

Let us know how you get on.
Thanks, kind regards, Paul

[Jacquespaul]

Are you ok Rainman.

[Jacquespaul]

Hello Monicau
Yes flat im renting will be gone by new year and broken car going next week.
Replaced with a newer car tomorrow and am excited about that (always had bangers in the past). Si things moving along one step at a time and cant believe the revesal of my thinking and my life. Certainly a 2nd chance in life and a very long life I have ahead. Starting back my sports today as well.

[Jacquespaul]

Well I had a meeting with family and professional’s on Friday at the hospital.
A positive meeting chaired by a very good lady doctor.
I am now in my new home up in Essex with my sister and feel 100% better.
There is no gloom or doom anymore in my mind and now replaced with positive and happy thoughts. No suicidal thoughts at all and feel positive about the now and future.
Which I thought 3 weeks ago was impossible. I thought I could never be happy again or even smile (gee the mind is a funny old thing lol).
Hope I can continue to feel better and with the amazing support from my family im sure too.
That’s all for now. Thanks.

[Jacquespaul]

Hi Rainman (Cool name).

I read your post and totally emphasise with your words and story and feel for you.

I have been in the same place recently as you and felt exactly like you some 4 weeks ago. Basically my life was unrecoverable and over. Impossible situations and events and losses ended up with me with 6, yes 6 suicide events within a three period. Self afixiation and jumping from some tall buildings were my choices during tjis desperate period. 100% I wanted To end the torment and pain I was feeling and going through. And planned each with meticiolos care but events transpired I failed each time. ( A timely phone call from my daughter some seconds before I was going to jump of the Hilton skyline bar some 100 feet up to name one).
Anyway like on my blog I received lots of good advice and comments from many members of this site. Even those words from those members (And they were wise words) I could not see a ‘light at the end of any tunnel. I felt total overwhelmed in my head with everything. Little sleep compounded with everything going wrong and not just in my gambling life. Chasing loss after loss and completely losing myself in a gambling bubble I couldnt escape. Just a question = do you suffer from depression ? (I did and the gambling possibly was an escape from certain other issues in my life).
Bottom line is read my blog:
https://www.gamblingtherapy.org/en/first-post
You can see I went from 30k + up to 30 k down in the space of 5 weeks. I posted goodbye posts on my first suicide attempt as mentioned in my previous comment with my daughter. I also recognised even when I had no debt some 3 months ago I could see the fall coming. People posted to try and Save me. I’m a compulsive gambler and at the time couldn’t be saved. No message was strong enough. No advice struck me. That is why I post to you this evening that there is always a way foward with your situation. I look foward to your response then can give more information and hopefully help in your situation.

Thanks for reading. Paul

[Jacquespaul]

What is your situation now.
Hope You have stopped in time.

Kind regards
Paul j

[Jacquespaul]

You have lost on slots; it doesn’t matter what tbh. What you need to do is to find a way to stop altogether else it’s going to happen time after time and with more serious consequences.
Please read my sorry story as to where gambling could take you – certainly not down any good path. Do Your self a favour please, think of consequences rather than the buzz or hope of winning…

[Jacquespaul]

Well I went to the hospital gym today which made a change from lying on my bed in the room. A great friend visited which was good. My auntie phoned from Germany as well.
Things are slowly in motion for my transition to Essex to be with my amazing sister. I don’t know for how long but I’m sure it’s the best thing for me. I do not have any headaches atm because they have plagued me for the last 5 weeks and I sleep now very well.
To sort my life out from here is going to be very complicated and challenges await I am sure. I am also sure I want to find a way through this.
Gambling is now behind me forever, it has done too much damage to be considered part of any future I have.
Tiny tiny steps is the way ahead and thankyou to all on this site and all my family for the support I have received thus far.

[Jacquespaul]

I believe the fog is lifting. I have re-read all of your posts and also my posts (And it’s true I do not make much sense in some of them. And could not action your wise words at the time; which took you time to compose and write for me).

So many thanks to:

Monicau 
i-did-it
vera 
finding_laura
charles 
geordie18
Jonny123987 
Monkey15

Who kept persisting even though i was blind by most help at the time.

I am in a slightly better place (in my mind that is) and have some hope for the future and my family.

Once again I know you have all helped and continue to help the ever growing personell who fall foul of this CG disease. I will endeavour through my experiences try to also help others as well.

Thankyou and sorry.

[Jacquespaul]

Hello. Please stop chasing any loses as You will fall deeper and deeper into turmoil and darkness. I know the 12k lose seems like a lot, and it is but there is hardly any chance of recovering and then stopping. (It Will not happen). That is the nature of a CG.
I know, I have been there and am living proof along with others who have advised you that this will certainly be the outcome. I thought it wouldn’t happen to me and didn’t take heed of others advice and now I know I really really should have.
Please please don’t be like me and stop now and live a free life. I wish I had…

[Jacquespaul]

Today I am grateful for my family as I can see a light at the end if a long tunnel. I can see a road ahead. Thankyou my family and thankyou all who have posted to try to help me.
I am still In the mental hospital and will take it a day at a time. Review on the 8tj December. Thankyou all….

[Jacquespaul]

Im now in a mental hospital with a doubtful future. I’m a prisoner of my own making through gambling. If you continue you may/Will go down The same path, depression and suicidal tendencies go hand in hand with CG in the end phase.
Please stop look around, you are free and need to make the choice to remain sane and be part of society and live a normal life. That has now gone for me atm but may get it back and I will cherish even the small things if I do.
Get software gamban on your devices. It cost just a little and let someone else administrate and install it to ensure you can’t have access to any gambling sites. I have it now albeit far too late in the day to save me from terrible situations I will now have to face.
Get a trusted person to purchase and install 100%.

[Jacquespaul]

Well nearly a week in hospital and visits from my family every day. I didn’t even know I was allowed out till a few days in as informal patient. There apparently will be a meeting on the 8th December to decide what to do with me. Family all supporting but feel numb and fazed by it all and have no idea what to do or say next to the doctors… I did gamble 2 days ago on my phone in hospital unfortunately. But now gamban is on my phone and laptop. I feel it’s all still all very complicated, but am going with the flow to see what happens and see if there are bits of light in this black tunnel I’m in. This mental hospital has some very poorly people in it and can be scared at times. Least I can lock my door from the inside. That’s all got now and thanks for the support thus far…

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