[jackwilson]

Your story has been truly inspirational for someone like me who is on day 2. Please keep up the exclusions and have a great day, one day at a time 🙂

-Jack

[jackwilson]

I can’t thank you enough for your responses. I get a bolt of energy after reading your posts. It’s great to hear such wisdom, and from people who have gone through the process that there is hope for me, and that I’m always 1 bet from giving it all up.

I’d love to join a group here and participate in the chats, please let me know if we could schedule something. Sorry, I’m very much a noobie when it comes to GT. thanks again.

[jackwilson]

I’ve spent hours reading the posts today and they have been truly heartfelt but also make me more confuse about my own situation.

I have access to capital, and casinos don’t really get to me. I do get blindsided by things that I don’t view are gambling and then chasing. For example, stock investing. I keep thinking that it’s okay for me to make an investment because that’s my job and I’m good at it. Before you know it, I’m buying and selling 6 times a day. Then that leads to sports betting because I need the action.

Other than that, I think the need for excitement gets to me. I can’t just watch a ball game. I need to have some money riding on it to feel excited about the game. It sucks but that’s what has happened to me and sports. I can no longer watch sports to enjoy it now that I’ve lost the financial impact. i’m now addicted to this forum. I can’t help but keep posting. It’s an avenue for me to express my feelings, but I also hope it’s helpful for others who might be going through the same things.

[jackwilson]

Hi there. It’s good to hear stories of members who are doing well. It seems like your life is on the upswing. Congrats on the engagement and stay strong!

[jackwilson]

The worst part is whether I gamble or not, but when I make a good suggestion and I don’t buy the stock myself. It’s like torture. In my mind, I’m thinking that I “lost money” since I could’ve invested and made money.

Today, I sold all the stocks I own so that I don’t compulsively check on the price anymore. Before, if the stocks went up, I would feel happy and if they went down, I would feel sad and irritable. I just want to live a happy life, without any regrets.

Would be great to hear the forum’s advice for someone in my position. thank you.

[jackwilson]

Even as I’m sitting here at my desk, I’m thinking about the parlay bet that almost hit for $16,500. I’m thinking about all the money that I had three days ago. The money caused me to be irritable. I just wanted to use it to place more bets. Am I missing the money or missing the ability to place bets?

You are absolutely right. Nothing good has every come from gambling and there’s no point in thinking about the past. I can only control what I do today.

Today is the most important day.

[jackwilson]

I have not told anyone about my compulsive gambling problem. I’ve always had enough “control” and didn’t lose enough to let others know about my secret. compulsive gambling has caused me to go through a living hell over the past 15 years. I went to my first GA meeting at the age of 18 and now, 12 years later, I still have not stopped. I didn’t and still don’t feel safe in GA. I feel as if I’m an outsider, that my problems aren’t as bad as everyone else’s. I’ve never been to jail, stolen money. I have a great job. However, when I think about everything that has happened to me in the past 15 years, the emotional, financial and psychological damage that it has taken on me. I might be in worse shape than the people at GA.

I feel extremely blessed that I have money in the bank, my health, my future ahead of me and a wonderful and loving family. I have everything any man could ever ask for. Yet, despite having everything, I feel a tremendous sense of shame, guilt and regrets.

I regret that I have lost somewhere in the neighborhood of $200k betting on the stock market, poker, craps, blackjack, sports betting. More importantly, I have lost tens of thousands of hours in my life by not being present for those who I love the most. I have not focused on my career. I could be so much better at what I’m doing had I spent those 15,000 hours on my job. I have spent 10% of my time on this planet thinking about or gambling.

I am thankful for this website as it will provide me with an avenue to share my thoughts and feelings. I will also use it for support when the inevitable cravings return. It feels so overwhelming to restart as my last binge was from 2/22/12. This time, I won’t take anything for granted and will try to live life one day at a time. thank you.

[jackwilson]

It took about 12 hours for me to feel the full impact. I’m devastated now. It’s hard for me to get out of bed and go to work knowing how much money i just lost. As I slept last night, I kept replaying how things would’ve been different if I had bet on this team instead of that team. The shame, guilt and regrets are eating me up inside.

I have gone through wins/losses of this magnitude at least 3-4 other times in my life and yet, I somehow always forget about the pain and devastation and gamble again. I hope this is different and this will be the last time. thank you for reading.

[Author]

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