[Jackdandy]

I am exactly the same
So many times I’ve lied to myself and said I’ll leave if I lose 50
End up losing way more than I can afford
Have to lie and borrow
Hate what the machines have changed about me and my life

[Jackdandy]

Hate that I say to myself no more 

And still repeat the same mistakes over and over 

I even know my triggers 

And I just can’t seem to get this under control 

So sick of getting deeper into the red 

[Jackdandy]

Every time I get cash I have the urge
Why cant I ever control this
Hating myself today

[Jackdandy]

It only takes one push
One win
One loss

[Jackdandy]

Hi Laura 

Went 7 days this time

Thats a bit of a record for me 

Why did I test myself 

Triggers got me 

At least I paid the rent 

Had cash and was tired 

Have to keep trying cant let this beat me 

Thanks again 

[Jackdandy]

Hi Laura 

Went 7 days this time

Thats a bit of a record for me 

Why did I test myself 

Triggers got me 

At least I paid the rent 

Had cash and was tired 

Have to keep trying cant let this beat me 

Thanks again 

[Jackdandy]

Hi I did it 

Thank you good advice 

The pokies started to get a hold of me in 2009

When my relationship with my ex became a little miserable and dissapointing 

I wanted to move and she didn’t 

In the end we moved and things weren’t going to bad

Had money and a pretty good job

Then in 2011 I lost a sister 

She was my best friend 

I dealt with it by completely self destructing 

12 months I drank and gambled every day and I really didn’t want to go home to the wife 

My fault not hers 

I left her in 2012 and since then its taken till now to get to the stage where I want to be well 

I just cant go on like this anymore

In the meantime I have tried ga meetings counseling and self exclusion 

Its my thoughts that I need to change

One of the thoughts I have often is loneliness doesn’t work for me 

Ive got into relationships I shouldn’t have because of this feeling and have ended up feeling more miserable than I was 

Im not making that mistake anymore 

So today I am thinking 

Get myself right 

Change my thoughts and my behavior 

If I can get my life back on track 

Maybe then I will be ready to find someone 

Until then I aim no catch

This site and everyone’s responses ,stories and the poems are helping like nothing else ever has 

Thank you so much for caring 

[Jackdandy]

Good advice 

I need to keep posting here everday 

Thanks K 

Thinking today about my triggers and drinking is one of them

it is another way of switching off for me 

Have to face my fears 

Pay my bills ,Get my taxes sorted ,been something I haven’t been able to face up to for 3 years, do a budget etc etc 

Thanks again everyone 

[Jackdandy]

Thanks Vera and K and everyone else

[Jackdandy]

Been so good this week until last night 

Hate myself again 

Got drunk and back to square one 

Why 

Really good people on here appreciate all your messages 

[Jackdandy]

Hi Jinquinzhong
Your journey begins today and starts again tomorrow
You’ve made the first step and you have the strength inside you
Im fairly new here and I am grateful that I have found this site
Read the posts on here every day and everytime you feel like gambling read more
It feels like its hard to stop
Its harder to keep on gambling
Stay strong

[Jackdandy]

Hi everyone and thanks for your sharing and support Happy Sunday the sun is shining here on the sunny gold coast The fever was strong last night and I beat it Glad that I did If I didn’t I would had a sleepless night and woke up sick and looking for ways to get money to last me to payday Its amazing how I can work so hard for money and then want to self destruct and throw it all away How is it that I can work two jobs and still have no respect for money .There’s been days Ive worked 15 hours and blown the money in less than an hour. So many times lost a weeks wages in a couple of hours . I am lucky for so far my body is holding up well Just have to keep on working on the mind Its been 4 days since I gambled this time What is it that I’ll miss Wont miss not being able to sleep Wont miss feeling desperate and angry Wont miss feeling sick in my stomach Wont miss the shame of borrowing money from friends and family Today I am not going to feel sorry for myself Today I am not going to gamble 

Gambling is not a way to escape my problems 

[Jackdandy]

Memanggil Anda hanya untuk bermain Beratnya harga yang akan Anda bayar Kata-kata hebat Vera

[Jackdandy]

Volám vás, jen abyste hráli Váha ceny, kterou zaplatíte Skvělá slova Věro

[Jackdandy]

आपको केवल खेलने के लिए बुलाना कीमत का भार आप चुकाएंगे महान शब्द Vera

[Author]

Posts