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Thanks Chubba!
Still feeling the crazy roller coaster. Dads only been helping me manage my money for like a month if that, he already wants to make some changes to my spending etc. He thinks l spend too much etc but l don’t, l barely have money to socialise. I love that dads helping me but a part of me thinks it’s going to be for the worse instead of the better.
And if l pull out of getting his assistance he probably will kick me out. So as long as l am there, l am stuck.
I think l am a week shy from of my first month of being clean.Only a fool plays a fools game

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HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! IT IS 2013 a chance to start over again.
I have been busy with work and went away for a little bit during the christmas holidays. Things are going ok, starting to feel the real emotional imbalance take affect. My pastor is currently looking into helping me get some counselling for the addiction, he is looking into some trusted contacts. That is something I have to look forward to, hoping it comes through all ok.
I have been cg clean, I haven’t really been ******** but off the top of my head its 20+ days or something.
Applefarm – I did at the start gamble on my phone, but I deleted that app and I do not have much access to my money as my dad is looking after it.
Now I am excited about dad looking after my money and the possibility of being able to save again. The only thing begin i know when I need to dig into the savings for something it will be a battle. I will wait and see what happens first.
Thanks for all your kind words and love everyone.
Blessings!
 Only a fool plays a fools game

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I_am_hope, that gives me hope as well to know that. Day 54 I am two days shy of two months. What a great birthday present to myself, one day shy of the big 30.
On an update note with the sister situation today she gave back half the money owing. The anixety has definately lifted, however its not her decision how much she gives back. My dad was told everything yesterday so in order to get the next batch it will go through him. Will let it slide for a couple of weeks. And see how things go. This is progress people, progress. Remember baby steps all one at a time.
BLESSINGS!!!!Only a fool plays a fools game

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Amy thanks for following me I feel so special. Oh yeah the cute guy, there was always two guys. But now I decided who I like, so yeah. Nothing happening at this point.
Cant believe its my birthday this week. Sister still hasnt given me money i emailed her, no response. I am going to tell her tonight that I need it. And if she doesnt give it to me, well i am going to have to tell dad. Cause I need it and im starting to stress out. I don’t get paid from my new job until another 17 days, thats a long time.
Another gamble free day! wow think this friday or saturday will make 2 months wow what a great birthday present TO ME! yay go Lina!
Sucks2bme, thanks man. We can beat this one day at a time 🙂
 Only a fool plays a fools game

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Wow feeling so blessed and empowered. Thank you ALL, so much! It’s 51 days today wow that sounds like alot. In less than a week I turn 30. Have so much to look forward to. I must remember I have overcome this and must walk forward with it.Only a fool plays a fools game

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Thanks SBT.
My pay came and it went straight into my sisters account. It really is a sense of relief. However I am not very happy that my sister said she wouldnt transfer me some money so that I could take some and just take it out at the bank with my license. I am away at the moment with family and she is in Melbourne at work. I only wanted like $40 and she totally said there would be none of this transferring business. That is total control and I dont like it. She wants to personally hand me my spending money in increments. She should really lighten up after I self exclude from all the places. Even if I wanted to go, I couldnt. This arrangement is sort of weighing on me now. I have plans for April and May and im worried she will be putting all the money towards debt that she wont save anything. I hope this arrangement doesnt get ugly at all.
Today is day 8. Hope you are all doing good. Hope anyone has further advice for me. We really havent had a chance to speak one on one with my sister and she hasnt been responding to my emails. Only a fool plays a fools game

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Tomorrow night is pay night. Have all the barries in place including my pay going directly into my little sisters bank account. Tonight I am going away for three to four days with family. This will allow me to clear my mind and to just remember who I am. The coming of the new year really has impacted me to remember and to embrace my dreams and desires. Today is day 6. I keep telling myself you havent cg in 2012 and this beg smile just comes upon my face and I rejoyce. Feeling so empowered right now. This can be accomplished it can be beaten. Dont give up and don’t give in. We were born to be free.

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A year of NO SURRENDER! you got it.
Carole8755 thats such great advice. Honestly I have ambitions to travel for a little bit in 2012. I probably dont deserve it and its not ideal to spend money I could use to pay off debt however I cant continue to punish myself forever for the cg addiction. I have no idea how one pays that much debt off in a year. If my income was more than yes but it isnt. And really when I get myself self excluded from all the cg venues I really wont need my sister to control my money. But will go with it for now. Until I feel myself getting some control back in my life.
Happy New Year to all you beautiful people. Thanks for the encouragement and love. We can and we will do this.

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