[Iwillbeatthis]

Hi Mosreal, I can tell you’re suffering from the guilt and shame of doing what many of us have done before and although the situation isn’t exactly the same the end result is usually similar. That terrible gut wrenching feeling of regret and
despair. The fact that you are reaching out for help tells me
that this incident struck a cord within you and maybe that’s what you needed to really see the devastation this addiction to gambling can cause. In my opinion everyone’s breaking point is different. If this is the worst case scenario for you, I think it’s a blessing in disguise. Don’t let what you did define you…make the decision to forgive yourself and then do what you can to make amends to your parents and your friend.It will take some time but they will see a better you in the end and perhaps come to understand this disease. I wish you all the best and hope you are feeling a little less pain right now. Take Care, iwillbeatthis

[Iwillbeatthis]

Hi Charles, Thanks for taking the time to read my post and for the response, you shared some great options and I will take them to heart….Since the trip is already paid for, I will be going to Vegas, Believe me when I tell you this was one of the hardest decisions of my life and I have agonized over it. I was the last person to book the trip and I have gone back and forth over my decision for some time. I have already booked a show to see Celine Dion and another to see Mat Franco. As well, I have asked one relative that I trust to hold my money and credit cards for the entire trip and to only give me enough for meals, drinks etc. I have told her not to give me any more money, especially at night and after 10pm when everyone else is getting ready to wind down for the night as this is the time when I am most vulnerable. I have made plans to use the pool area during the day and I know my sister is planning the same so I will have company….if not I plan to rent a cabana and spend my money on the simple pleasures. So we will see how this goes. I’m kind of nervous but I also feel this is a good opportunity for me to show myself and my family how serious I am about recovery. In respect to being honest with my husband about our debts….In September I documented all of our finances and told him to take a look at them, I explained we had a lot of debt and yes some of it was from my gambling…he has never even bothered looking at the folder. He just said says “we spend too much” and I say “yes, we do and we have over spent for the last 25 years” See Charles, my husband has his own compulsions, he spent a great deal of time and money drinking so maybe he has his own feelings to deal with. I think he just wants to bury his head in the sand till I make it all better. In the end I have always made everything okay again….until now. Thanks for listening

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