[iwanttostopgamblingnow]

Hi Charles, my plan to attend GA meetings didnt materialised. I was so stupid on not doing it that I feel it would have save me money and troubles.

I did some root cause analysis. I tried to ask as many ‘Why’ as I can until I get an answer which can’t be asked by a ‘Why’.

Problem 1:

Why do I experience Financial Challenges?
(Beacuse I lose all my money in the casino.)
Why do I lose all the time?
(Because I don’t want to stop and I have no power to stop when I am in the Craps table)
Why do you behave like that?
(Because I did not believe that I can’t control my level of Gambling. I believed that I can get my losses back.
Why do I have that belief?
This I can’t answer as I don’t know the answer.

Problem 2:

Why did I have to loan big amount of money?
(I feel the need to get back all the previous money that I lost. I also wanted to cover up my trouble from my from relatives.) Why do I hide my problem and why do you want to get the losses back?
(Because I was brought up to never make any mistake. Also I have loans that I need to pay)
Why do I believe that I can get my losses back so I can pay my loans?
(This I can’t answer anymore)

And so here are my unusual beliefs;

I believe that I can win the lost money back.
I believe that I can payoff my loans by winning in the casino.

Now that I am not inside the Casino, I know that my beliefs are the following;
 
I COULD NEVER WIN MY LOSSES BACK. THE ODDS ARE AGAINST ME AND IN THE LONG RUN, I WILL STILL END UP AS LOSER.

I COULD NEVER PAYOFF MY LOANS IF I KEEP ON LOSING MONEY IN THE CASINO

But when I have money, I observed that my beliefs shifts back to my ‘normal’ twisted beliefs

I AM A COMPULSIVE GAMBLER. AND WITH THAT MY BELIEFS WILL BE DISTORTED AGAIN ONCE I HAVE THE MONEY.

So here are the triggers that make me go to the Casino.
– I promised my wife that I will buy her our first family car before our wedding anniversary on May. I have some money in investment that she doesn’t know. That money I will use for the car. I gambled because I am selfish and I didn’t want to use this investment money. I believe that I can use my paycheck as funds for the casino. Losses I didn’t realised at first but it mounted up that I didn’t realised that my losses is enough to buy a car on December last year.

– My loan from my friends have also ballooned up starting December last year. Small loans but that’s equivalent to 2 months worth of paycheck.

Unless I stick to my beliefs when I am skint, I won’t be able to resolved ny problems. 🙁

I’m in depressed mode right now. I know I need to ban my self in the Casinos but I don’t have the strenght yet. I feel I need to confess I again to my wife of all the things that I have done.

[iwanttostopgamblingnow]

Hi Charles,

I did install Gambloc but with a relapse on March 2015, I am now in a big trouble. Since then I started playing Craps in City of Dreams Manila. I haven’t tracked my losses on 2015 but last year, I have lost around $10K. I felt felt the need to change for good in the beginning of this year only to lose my Dec 2016 salary on New Years Eve. I borrowed money from boss only to lie that I need money as my wife and I are having issues in our relationship and that I need to rent a place near my work. I got the money only. Went back to Solaire Manila only to lose it all. Since January this year until March 30, I lost all my salary. Today I am depressed and feels like jumping off the rail as I write this.

I am deprsses because I have a massive amount of debt. I lied to my wife again and again. Now we need to pay our bills and got no money. Over the past 3 months I managed to borrow money from my friends and coworkers. I can’t pay them and I have no other option now.

I still want to change but I didn’t change. I only upgraded myself to become a worst husband to my wife, useless father to my 3 yeat old son and the useless individual to everyone who knos me.

[iwanttostopgamblingnow]

I have just finished my shift today. Finished all the tasks and had a plate of carbonara for lunch. Thoughts of gambling still came. I saw myself throwing dice in craps table and eventually saw my self throwing away money so I came back to reality too fast.

Got enough money to cover my lunch and bus fare so betting is impossible.

There are 2 more challenges that I need to watch out for;

1. My work is about 30-minute taxi ride to the nearest casino
2. I am working for bookmaker’s Customer Service Team

And here’s the tasks that I need to do;

1. Self Exclude in all the Casinos. I have finished Self Excluding in my online accounts.

2. Go to GA meeting next Friday at 7:30 PM. I wasn’t able to go today as I was too busy at work and break time didn’t match the meeting schedule.

3. Entrust my debit card and ATM to my wife and let her handle the finances whilst I’m on my way to recovery

4. Deactivate my online fund transfer.

And here’s the tasks that I need to do daily

1. Pray with my wife
2. Practice playing pool (30 minutes)
3. Spend time with our baby before going to work
4. Lunch with colleagues
5. Go home right after work.

[iwanttostopgamblingnow]

Day 1 was good yesterday. Urge of betting Champions League football came but was able to manage it. I had 3000 PHP yesterday to pay for infant milk. Good thing I didn’t use it for placing a bet.

My wife is still mad at me as I am unable to provide my share for house budget and today’s day 3 of us not in good terms.

I’ll inform her about what happened to the money I lost in the casino on the weekend and I hope she’ll understand me.

She thinks that I do not trust her about expenses but what’s true is that I lost all the money so I can’t give any money to her.

I just feel bad thinking about the monies I lost in the past 2 months.

I just hope everything will be alright soon.

[Author]

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