[ita83]

Your story seems very similar to mine with the difference that I’ve just left my bf of 5 years. I feel a mix between freedom and heart broken. I’ve been fighting against this ‘3rd element’ in our relationship for the past 3 years and it has been difficult. I had a lot of promises, a lot of hopes that have been broken so many times. Since the first time I found out about his gambling I made his family aware because I couldn’t cope with this on my own. I started seeing a therapist because I didn’t want to give up my relationship without knowing that I did everything I could.
I did exactly the same things you did.
– My exBF downloaded the software to stop gambling on his devices, then eventually found the way to get rid of it(because there is always a way)
– he told me with a really guilty look that he needed help and then as soon as he had some money in the account they were gone
– We agreed I took control of his finance which worked for some time but after a while he got angry with me because I was controlling him. funny ha?

I don’t want to put you off, I just want you to be careful, especially if you are thinking of starting a family with this man. Look at yourself and think if you can really live with the constant fear of not having any money all in the sudden.
This is what was bothering me most, I work really hard, I have savings (fortunately he never touched our joint money) but I cannot live in the uncertain of how am I going to feed my family now? I just couldn’t.
My ex. bf only admitted he is crap with money. He never wanted to admit he is a gambler. The first step to see a change is that the gambler admits he is a gambler. Please insist on that because it’s the key of the change. Without this acknowledgement he will never make a step forward.
take care

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