[iris]

Hi, Larry.  You seem to have gained a lot from working these forums, and I’m spending a lot of time reading the entries.  It’s easy to identify with the stories and remember those times in my own gambling career.  The big thing right now is staying immersed in therapy so all the things that were neglected, procrastinated, or avoided altogether because I was gambling don’t overwhelm me.  It’s not just abstinence, it’s also structure in everyday life–meals, bedtime, house/yard work, making calls, answering mail–.  The nuts and bolts of building recovery, I guess.  A thousand things that never matter when I’m gambling.  Incidentally, I carried that found $20 in my purse for a couple of days, then gave it away.  With my game of choice, video poker, that’s 4 hands on a $ machine, 8 hands on a quarter machine I won’t be playing.  it’s a good deal.  God bless you with contunued recovery.  May I never catch up with you or fall further behind than I am now.

[iris]

Just want to congratulate you, Larry, for the 3 years you’ve achieved today and thank you for your encouragement.  I had read the "wounded healer" you mentioned, as I’m not too swift yet in getting to my journal, and I read some of the other topics.  I used to be very effective working with addicts because I knew, from my own addiction, what they were up against, and when I saw them make it, I knew there was hope for me.  The thing I am happiest about with this site, is the idea that gambling (compulsive or otherwise) is learned behavior.  I hate the idea that I’m twisting in the wind with an illness that will dog me til death.   Your success strengthens my hope for myself.

[iris]

This morning I can deposit one day of not gambling to my tiny account in the Abstinence Bank.  It’s not much, but it will convert to cash in my real bank account at the end of the month if I keep depositing days.  I want somethng visual, like quarters in a bottle, to mark the days–they get lost on the calendar.  Something pretty to set in the kitchen window where I can see it often.  Well, I’m off to have some quiet time with God before I tackle the day.

[iris]

Hi.  Thank you for the encouragement.  I’m having a rough time with abstinence, so it helps.  As painful as it is not to have the money to pay bills because I lost it gambling,it feels like it’s about money, but my finances are the first thing to improve when I don’t gamble,so that doesn’t make sense.  I write out a budget, anyway, and it’s very clear how whacked out my financial priorities are.  I won’t even go into the issue of time lost.   SO! if you can help me stand up to these foolish choices, I’m very greatful for your thoughts.  God bless you today.

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