[icandothis]

I have shared some of my hopes and dreams for 2015 on my thread. I wanted to thank you for your encouraging words. They meant a lot to me. Especially, since I have been struggling this holiday season. I really appreciate it. Wishing you and the rest of the family and friends posting here a Very Happy New Year!

[icandothis]

I don’t think I am going to make any! I have been down in the dumps thinking about all my faults and all the things I would like to change about myself, and also thinking that I will never be able to change. I feel like I have been in a state of suspended procrastination since Christmas. I am avoiding doing what needs to get done. Just don’t feel like it. Avoiding anything unpleasant.
Enough is enough! This is a new year. No resolutions. But I am going to try to open my heart and mind and body to trying new things. Really try to be as positive as I can. Loving more…beginning with myself. Laughing more. Trying to not take myself and my life so seriously. Try to relax and give myself a break. Of course, I want to be healthier, happier, and more prosperous. Who doesn’t? And, I know I have a lot of work to do. But, today all I want to do is accept myself as I am and start from there. What’s the point of improving ourselves if we can’t enjoy the process? For today, it’s enough that I want to continue recovery in 2015. I want that more than anything. Today I forgive myself for all the mistakes I made in 2014, and although I am quite sure I will make more in 2015, I pray that going back to gambling isn’t one of them. Which is my prayer for all of you as well
I found this quote and wanted to share.
“I hope that in this year to come you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re doing something . ~ Neil Garmen
Why do we insist on making the same mistake over and over again when there are so many other mistakes we could be making??? lol So, what do you say, let’s get out there in 2015 and make some new mistakes! I know we can do it!!! lol

[icandothis]

Kpat, I know what you are going through. I think post-Christmas is a huge trigger. At least it is for me. We put so much into this one day, and then it is over. Kind of a let down, even if it was a nice day.
My husband used to take me for a little gambling getaway after Christmas, that is until he realized that I had a problem. I cannot stop myself from wanting to do that again. I have been so out of sorts the last couple of days. Ready to explode. We have been somewhat busy, but I am still so restless.
There has been tension between us, also, and it is just now that I think I see why. To my husband’s credit, he did plan a getaway the day after Christmas, but we had three dogs here and couldn’t find anyone to watch them. I think he would be up for almost anything, as long as it doesn’t include gambling.
I am glad you did not end up gambling. Hold on tight, these days will pass and better and brighter days are on their way!

[icandothis]

Thanks for the Christmas wishes, Kpat. I hope you and your family had a very blessed Christmas!

[icandothis]

Day 4 of the 21 day Deepak Chopkra meditation series. Since last summer when I threw my back out, I have had terrible sciatic pain. I have done some research on chakras and yoga stretches. I read that the 2nd chakra had to do with issues and worries about money. And that if you had sciatic pain is this area and had financial troubles it was no coincidence! Doesn’t surprise me! lol I have found some yoga stretches that are suppose to help with lower back pain to do while I listen to the meditations. I hope this helps. It isn’t that big of a commitment, and I think I can stick to it. Maybe counting these days will be a good distraction from counting the days since my last gamble, which some days seem like they are adding up so slowly.

[icandothis]

Happy birthday, Lizbeth. I am glad you didn’t go to the casino on your birthday. That would have been such a waste of your special day! If I remember right, we are both the same age now. Both young chickas! lol

[icandothis]

Hi Tiki, God hears your prayers. It is 2:00 am. I am up and cannot sleep, and so, I am praying for you. I so feel your pain right now and can relate. I hope this is your rock bottom. That you find a way to start over again. It is hard to have faith at a time like this. I can hear that you don’t want to give up, but you so want to find a way to live differently.
Know that as you are crying tonight, you are not alone. I am thinking of you and praying for you.

[icandothis]

I hope you are safe, Jay!

[icandothis]

I am praying for good results from your test, Bettie. Jen is also in my prayers. I hope she stays away from her bf for good!

[icandothis]

Thanks for sharing, Cat.
What I like about recovery is I like getting phone calls from my husband. No anxiety about whether he will call me today. No need to avoid picking up and then making up a lie about what I was doing when he called or why I didn’t have my phone with me.
I also hope that he is beginning to lose his anxiety about what he thinks I might be doing when I, for whatever reason, miss his call!

[icandothis]

On the 12th Day of December, my true love gave to me 12 gamble-free days!

[icandothis]

Jay, I wish I had some words of wisdom. Can’t find them this morning, but I would like to give you a warm welcome. It makes me sick to read about how much this addiction takes away from our lives. You are not alone in that. Here you are not alone, period. We are all in this together. You can beat this. You can get your life back. Read about what others are doing…excluding, putting up barriers…and then continue to post. Your journey can begin today. Take one baby step. Just for today, don’t gamble. Then tomorrow take another baby step and don’t gamble. The days will add up. And little by little things will improve. Again, welcome.
I am sure your family loves you very much. It is the addiction they hate! Forgive yourself and begin working on removing it from your life and your family’s life.

[icandothis]

Thanks, Kpat, Liz, and Vera. Home from my Spirituality group. I have been out the last 5 nights, and I am exhausted. This wasn’t the best of days, but at least I didn’t gamble, so there is hope for tomorrow. If I had gambled today, I know exactly how tomorrow would be. I am so glad that I didn’t gamble today, so I won’t have to live in my self-inflicted Hell tomorrow!

[icandothis]

Hi Eileen, Welcome to Gambling Therapy. I know you can do this. You will never bore us. We understand only too well what you are going through. I could really relate to those blackouts. I recently looked at our bank statement. I knew I had spent a lot of money, but I was still surprised to see just how much. I honestly don’t remember going to the ATM that many times and taking out that much money! So hard to face the truth. Today, I fell back into my usual pattern of not liking myself and then followed it up with a bit of self-pity. But I didn’t gamble. I am glad you didn’t gamble today either. Tomorrow will be a better day because of that simple, but not always easy choice!

[icandothis]

Thanks, Kpat. Yesterday was a tough day at work. My friend didn’t recognize me. She thought I was the cleaning woman. I took her to lunch, but she kept falling asleep.
Last night, I dragged myself to a Christmas choir program that a friend of mine was in. I am glad I went. It was beautiful. There was one song in particular that spoke of healing our wounds and clarifying our souls. Brought tears to my eyes. The price of gambling has been very, very high. I am tired of paying. Time to put some balm(The song was The Balm of Gilead) on those wounds. I am going to try applying a little love and forgiveness on these wounds of mine.

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