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Hi Bettie, I finally figured out how to get to the end of your thread. So frustrated when I kept seeing your first entry over and over again. I am so glad that your entire thread was recovered. I agreed with what you said about the benefit of sticking with one thread for yourself and also for others as well. I think it helps others to read someone’s entire journey. Both the highs and lows. I am not one who has done that and I regret that I haven’t done so. (I also understand the desire to start over and begin anew, and I do not judge those who have.) I do, however, admire you for staying with your original thread and sharing your journey with us.
You are such a support to others. You describe everyone’s story so well. I am suffering/no we (my husband and I) are suffering the consequences of my insanity. I like to read your posts that keep us reminded of the uselessness of gambling and then the damage of giving in just once, which damages our recovery. I have to keep reminding myself that I am in recovery. I am struggling today. Just getting started with my day. I am going to grab my journal and focus on what it means to work on recovery. I know the woman I don’t want to be, but I need to focus on the woman I want to be and then figure out how to get there. Today, the gap between the woman I am and the one I want to be feels like it is as large as the Grand Canyon! Enough about me. Have a great day, Cat. thanks for your support and congratulations!
I love October! In my part of the world it means fall colors, raking leaves, football games, pumpkins, spiced cider, Halloween, hayrides…MY SON’S WEDDING! This addiction will not take one day away from the joy of this splendid month! So, today, October 1, I will not gamble!
Thinking of you, Sherry. I keep making a mess of things in so many ways. Tomorrow is another day. I hope it is better than this one.
I agree with P. Thanks for your post. We are in the same boat, Libbie. One that is sinking, I am afraid. So many leaks! lol We have some choices. Keep gambling and sink. Fix the leaks. Get a new boat. We can do this Libbie!
Vera, Thanks for trying to post to me all those times. If we’re at square one , well so be it. We have to try again. One step at a time. We have been struggling financially for some time, but now it’s a desperate situation. Even I can’t believe my behavior last weekend. I need this site more than ever. I need to talk to people who struggle as I do. Let’s help each other create new lives. We can do this!
Hi Luna girl, I hope this is not the end of your diary. I have read through it, and found it very inspiring. You have a gift for describing your feelings and emotions. I could relate to so much of what you wrote. So many *****, I try to put what is going on in the inside into words, but I can’t do it. In your writing I also felt your determination and intense desire to stop gambling and to change your life. This road to recovery is a long and winding one with many bumps and detours. You accomplished a lot with your gamble free days and should be proud of each and every one of them. Hopefully, you have learned from your slip. Unfortunately, some***** they are part of our recovery journey. We all understand how painful they can be. I hope you can pick yourself up and keep on writing your diary. Keep on fighting this good fight. You won’t fail if you keep trying. We all are here to support you. Hope to hear from you soon.
Ps I love your name Luna girl. I love the moon, so my little doggy’s name is Luna!Hi Sherry, Hope you are doing ok and enjoying your first summer in your new home. I hope you have been sitting on your bench enjoying the view often. Don’t let gambling take that away from you…what’s done is done. Every day is a new day. I thought of you as I am working on developing daily habits that serve me to help replace that big, bad one that doesn’t serve me at all. I’m doing so, so. I think it just takes time to develop good habits. I am going to keep trying though…one day at a time.
What a great quote. Thanks for sharing. Will go in my journal. It’s not too late to "awaken" the giant with us all. (I am reading "Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins) Great book if you are ready to take action to change your life. Myself?…well all I can say is…baby steps. lol
I raise my coffee cup to you and to strengthening connections to the things that really matter. Like playing ball and watching a good movie with your kids!
PS Sounds like Awakenings is a movie I should see.Hi Libbie, So glad you made it through day 4 and beyond. My husband and I watched Downton Abbey last March when I was sick. Loved it! First season was on Netflix, then I bought the rest. Money well spent…not like gambling. I felt so bad physically, but when I look back on those winter days, I remember them fondly. Some attachments are easier to live with than others!
Kin, I believe that you can turn your life around. You are in my thoughts and prayers tonight.
New account for a new life!
Cat, thank you for continuing to post and being an inspiration to so many who read your posts!
Welcome! Day 1 can be the best day of your life, if you decide to make it so. I think you are determined to make it happen. We are here for you. You begin your journey now. The past is behind you. I believe you when you say you don’t grasp "little" well. Don’t do it anymore. Live the "bigness" of life without gambling. It is there for you.