[icandothis]

Thanks Lizbeth and Vera. I didn’t gamble yesterday. Still a struggle today. Life has me down. Trying to work things out. I know if I could just get myself to do something, I would feel better. Just can’t get there.

[icandothis]

Thanks, R2C. Actually, she hates the job. But, she has saved money and is planning to move to New York City, which is her dream, next month. However, she has no job lined up in NYC.

I am feeling very unmotivated this morning. Reading through posts. Staring at the screen thinking about getting dressed and going gambling. I know. I can hardly believe it myself. Maybe by writing, I can talk myself out of it. These are the days, the days when I just don’t feel like doing anything else. Thinking…what’s the point of staying here and also, what’s the harm of a little escape? Not making any progress here. At least I’ll get out of the house and have a nice fall drive. The urges actually started last night when I was thinking that I was feeling better about myself and my life. Why does this happen when things begin to improve? Why do I sabotage myself? Why do I begin to think that a gambling visit here and there can fit into my somewhat sane life? Insanity!!! Why do I stop short of really taking action to make the changes in my life that I could to improve things?

Yesterday, was a good day. I had something to focus on. The newlyweds came for dinner. Today…nothing. Why do I have such a hard time creating something new for myself?

Good questions…

[icandothis]

Good to hear from you and that things are going well. I think I need to follow your example and not over analyse… something I tend to do. And when I do, I usually end up beating myself up and/or feeling bad about things (most of which I have no power to change) No need to complicate things. One day at a time…

[icandothis]

Congratulations on 8 weeks!!! Hope to see you around here more often.

[icandothis]

Danchaser, I love reading your posts. They are very insightful. So I wanted to say, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I have been using today to focus on recovery. I have been asking the question you gave which was, What fills the void we have been afforded? Trying to figure out what it is I really want and setting goals that I might be able to start working on beginning tomorrow. Also, thinking about something else you said about not practicing the things that can make your life more balanced. I am determined to begin doing things to get my life moving in a better more healthy, conscious, productive direction. I guess you could say today is day of regrouping and goal setting. I realize things won’t change overnight. I need to be patient and keep a positive attitude. I liked what bije said about not chasing goals that are difficult to achieve. I think I need to not expect too much and keep in mind goals can change, depending on the circumstances. I don’t want to expect too much from myself and set myself up for failure. I do not want to give myself more reasons to feel bad. I need to keep in mind that the most important thing is to begin feeling good about myself.

Enough about me. Just wanted to say thank you. I hope you continue to share your thoughts. We are all in this together!

[icandothis]

Hi P, Having a cup of coffee in my part of the world this morning. I hear you with the procrastination. So many self-improvement projects and projects in general starting on Monday. lol and then next Monday and the next. That’s what I am doing this week…telling myself, I’ll begin next Monday really working on health and fitness and other areas of my life…like finding a job, being organized, ambitious, etc. etc. etc. So many promises I make to myself that I break. But just like our recovery, it is ok to take stock and start over. Right now, I cannot afford, in so many ways, to break the promise of not gambling. So, just for today I am not going to gamble and by the grace of God, I will get through the rest of October gamble free. My prayer for us all! Hope you are having a good day, P!

[icandothis]

Hi Laura, Thinking of you and praying you stay gamble free. Many of us know only too well that a gamble spree cannot cure or even lessen our depression. For me, gambling and depression go hand in hand. Hang in there! Things always eventually improve, but gambling always makes things worse than they are. Thank you for sharing.

[icandothis]

hello, whydoigoback
Welcome to Gambling Therapy! I like your new goal. It is something I need to work on too. Productive endevours to recoup losses, and also, productive endevours, in general. Focusing on activities, anything but gambling, that add quality to our lives instead of taking away from the quality of our lives. Keep us posted.

[icandothis]

A wonderful wedding weekend. My son and his bride were so happy. Beaming the entire weekend. It is wonderful to be surrounded by so many family members and friends. There were 250 people at the church and reception. Every thing was perfect. A beautiful sunny fall day. In my opinion, all brides are beautiful, but my new daughter-in-law was stunning ! The Priest was so easy going and made us all feel comfortable. His sermon was about the importance of friendship between a husband and wife and also in general. You could just feel the love that surrounded the bride and groom and their families.
Then, on the way home, I had many thoughts of gambling. I always have urges after a big event. And this was a big one! Today, is more of the same. I am not going to give in. I am worthy of all the blessings I have been given. It is time to live in alignment with all that life has created me to be. I was not meant to be a part of this magnificent family and community of friends, and then dishonoring this gift by gambling away time and money.
I think this marriage has shown me just how large our lives really are. As I sit here today once again by myself, I need to be reminded of that. I am part of something bigger than myself, and also part of something that I had a part in creating. I need to once again live that truth and stop the selfishness of continuing to create unnecessary misery in my life!

[icandothis]

Things have been difficult, but just for today, I am going to “pack up my troubles”. Today is the rehearsal and tomorrow’s the wedding!!! So many blessings to focus on!!! I better get packed and ready to celebrate! “Love is a many splendid thing!”

[icandothis]

Hi Carole, I am so happy that are doing so well. Good for you getting on an exercise and eating well program. I think it is important to replace the focus we had on gambling with something else. Still working on that one myself.

To get to the end of someone’s thread, drag the scroll button on the side of your computer. If they have more than one page, hit the next button on the bottom of the first page. Their first entry will appear at the top of the screen. But if you scroll down again it will take you to the end of their thread. It was much easier before. I hope I explained that right. Have a great gamble-free day!

[icandothis]

Hi Sunny, I do remember you. Congratulations on a successful recovery. Success isn’t always perfection. Don’t let these recent slips ruin the progress you have made. Buying a house is so exciting. Part 2…and the journey continues. Use what has recently happened as leverage to make part 2 of your journey even better than part 1. Our lives are filled with new beginnings. Looking forward to reading all about your recovery and your new beginnings on your new thread.

[icandothis]

Thinking of you, P. Hope you are doing ok and hope to see you posting again soon. I am glad you can rely on the support of GA and don’t forget GT!

[icandothis]

Uncontrolled, Those are words of wisdom! I think you hit upon something with the not wanting to work for the money and also, the impatience of wanting the money now. I do feel bad about our financial situation (which isn’t all from the gambling) and the fact that I don’t work outside of the home. This should keep me from gambling, but actually, it does just the opposite. The more desperate I feel about our finances, the stronger the urges to gamble. Then I lose more money and feel even more desperate. A vicious cycle that must be broken. I must break this cycle and find a way to EARN money.
Just for today, I am not going to gamble, and I am focusing on cleaning the house and enjoying the day.

[icandothis]

These first days are so difficult. It is hard to see that someday life will get better, and there will be some relief from the mistakes I have made. But, today, Oct. 3, I will not gamble. I will do the best I can to give this day the best of me.

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