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Here’s to life and happiness! Something that is your right, and everyone else’s. Also, to spur-of-the moment’s. Something that is not possible to those who are in the gambling-zone.
Hi FG, I am so sorry for your loss. I do understand how hard this is. April 1, one year ago, we lost one of our dear friends.
I am crying for you to have lost such a special friend/sister.
But, FG, to have had a friend that was so close to you that you were able to call her a soul-sister is a very special gift. A gift that will never end, even though your friend isn’t physically with you.
You are in my prayers.Hi Lizbeth, First of all, I have been thinking about you a lot lately, even though I haven’t been up-to-date on posts. Like me, I knew you were restless, wanting to make changes in your life, but being in kind of a standstill. I was thinking that your restlessness wasn’t a bad thing just a sign that you were ready for some changes.
Now, I read about all that you have been going through lately. I so relate to the situation with your oldest daughter. This is so similar to what we went through when we bought our parent’s home “the cottage”. When it was in our best interest and they were healthy enough, we didn’t have the courage to ask them to leave. We truly believed we were doing the right thing to buy it in the first place, and then to let them stay there. Even though, it was the worst thing we could have done. It destroyed us financially, and we still haven’t recovered. Protect yourself, Lizbeth. Your daughter is young. She can recover. I realize now, it wasn’t our job to try to save my parents, especially at our expense. But the thing that was so hard to face was the fact that even though they asked for our help, they also resented it. Not in the beginning, because I think they still believed that our help was only a temporary fix and they would be able to move out and buy their own home. Like you, we took a chance. The thing that is hard to admit, even now, is that we also felt resentment towards them, too. I resented them for being in a situation where they needed our help, and I also resented them for resenting us for trying to help them. But, I also resented them because we went down with them because we did so against our better judgment and at our own expense. I don’t mean to talk about myself on your thread, but I do hope you can get something out of it. If nothing else, I feel deeply for what you are going through. In the end, I do believe love is what matters most, but it does get tricky when family and finances mix.
Which brings me to your relapse. I did the same thing two days ago. About that, I won’t give details on your thread. I will say that given everything you are going through, it isn’t hard to understand. Forgive, if you will. However, I would rather think of it as a ZigZag, rather than a relapse. You Zigzagged, but you didn’t leave your recovery path.
And I hope that because of the ZigZag, you are more determined than ever to find that thing you feel is missing.
People may not agree with me, but I don’t think your ZigZag is anything to forgive. I know we know that Gambling is not the source of our pleasure. Nor should it be the source of our pain. Don’t give it the satisfaction or that much power, Lizbeth.
You have a lot on your plate right now. You gambled, but I know you are now ready to handle things without gambling…the Lizbeth way…with strength, fortitude, discernment, forgiveness, grace, and with the greatest gift you have to give, love!Hi Kp, Welcome to Gambling Therapy. I disagree with you that this has you beat. You would not be here posting if this truly had you beat. You are here doing something positive, and I believe it is a huge step in the right direction.
Just for today, give yourself credit for that.
“I sit next to myself and watch as I repeat a mistake…” Your behavior is out of whack with who you really are. I love that you know this. Someday, you will say to yourself, this behavior is not who I am, and I can change it because it is not who I am. I am better than this. I hope that day is today. It took me a long time to get to that point, and most days, I am not there. But, I do know that recovery is a journey worth taking. So, welcome to Gambling Therapy. We are all in this together.You are not a bad person! Not even for this day! Just for this day, you are turning your life around. Not sure why we choose to sabotage our recovery. It doesn’t have to be like this, Maverick. Stop calling yourself a CG and begin focusing on the man you really are.
My hubby just asked me to help him with something, so I must go. I will be back.
You are not done. I am not done. I am not giving up on you. Ever!!!!!!Hi Maverick, I loved picturing your family as you described them, enjoying time together. Times like that when I could stop and look at my family filled me with such joy. But, I think the important thing is to take the time to realize how special those little moments are, as you did. Perhaps, that is a gift of our addiction. We know we have passed these moments by, and we can choose to do so again, but for this moment we can be here. We can be present.
The thing I love most about recovery is the feeling of being where I am meant to be. I have to admit it isn’t always the place I want to be, but there is peace in not running away. You are doing great. Try not to beat yourself about the choices you have made in the past. Every day is a new day. Take care, my friend.Hi Bobo, I so related to your post. I, too, have felt that my relationship to gambling has been my secret affair. My advice is to stop keeping it a secret. So many times I have chosen this addiction over my husband. one relationship over another. This relationship can be broken. It’s not easy, but it can be done. I have never been unfaithful to my husband with another man. But, time after time, I chose gambling over my husband.
Hey, Geordie
OMG, I am so glad you fought your way out of that coma!
Your posts have impacted me more than any others. Mostly, because of their challenging nature. lol
First, way, way back when, I said I didn’t want to stop gambling . You said something of the nature of…I hope some day you will want to give recovery a try.
Then, when I was giving recovery a try, you said, “Do you really call this recovery?” You said this because I had just gambled. I was devastated because I really was working on recovery. To me, recovery meant more than not gambling. But, you made me think good and hard about what recovery meant to me. What it looked like to me.
Bare with me, this is not a post about kicking someone when he is down.
Last year, exactly about this time. I went on a women’s gambling weekend. You spoke of old-timers like me giving advice to new comers about barriers, etc. and then making the same mistakes. You were wrong in that I never did give advice. None, except don’t give up trying.
Then, on that same post, you asked me, “Do you really want to go through your whole life like this?”
This really got my juices flowing. lol I thought, yes, I do want to be able to go out once a year with my girlfriends and gamble.
But, each day, I started my journal with that question. I began to look at it from a broader perspective. Then, the question began to change from, “Do you really want to go through your whole life like this?” to “How do you want to go through your life”? I began to ask how I wanted my life to be, to look like. The question shifted from what i didn’t want to do to what i did want to do.
You talk about the same people doing the same things over and over again, year upon year. The people it hasn’t worked for. Is that because we have gambled, we are not entirely gamble free? I prefer to look at all the times we haven’t gambled.
I gambled in 2015. And, as like many other areas of my life, this is not perfect. But, 2015 was better than many others. Gambling was a part of it, but it didn’t win, it didn’t take control. I came back fighting.
We aren’t just the same people doing the same old thing, making the same old mistakes. We are people who keep coming back. Why do we come back? Because we believe our lives are worth fighting for, even if those lives are not perfect.
You believe your life is worth fighting for, too! You said you had to fight your way out of that coma. You did it, Geordie. You are alive! You had to fight for your life.
That’s what we are all doing here, Geordie. Come back and join us. Yours, like ours, is a life worth fighting for!Hi Kpat, How are you doing? I hope you enjoyed the Holiday Season. I haven’t posted much either. I miss you.
Welcome back, P. So glad you are back. Life is about the journey. You have helped so many just being you.
Hi Maverick, Thanks for thinking of me and checking in on my thread. I am sorry you are struggling from a recent slip, but it sounds like you had a nice Christmas with your family. Focus on that and how it was better because of the gamble-free time you had leading up to the Holidays. Progress.
The time following Christmas and then the New Year has always been difficult for me too. Lots of urges. I actually made plans in my mind to gamble. I wasn’t able to follow through because other things came up.
None of us are perfect, but the important thing is to continue trying, continuing on the journey of recovery, which will continue to bring improvement to our lives. Hang in there.
I am also sorry to hear you were in the hospital. I’ll keep you in my prayers. I wish you good health and a happy, prosperous new year!Hi Maverick, I am glad you started your own thread. Also, happy belated birthday! You are still very young! Lots of good times yet to enjoy! Looking forward to continuing this journey with you.