Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Cat, I am glad you started a new pledge for February. I noticed there weren’t a lot who posted on the January pledge thread. I hesitated to participate in February myself because there is this piece of me that doesn’t think I can make it through the entire month. So why pledge something I don’t believe I can do? Or, to be honest, really want to do. Then in the past, by working recovery or more like it…the Grace of God, I make it through the middle of the month. I think to myself, “Maybe I can make it through the rest of the month.” or…I gamble. Then, by the Grace of God, I say to myself, “You gambled . The rest of the month can still be gamble-free” I used to think, “You gambled…you blew it…you said you would never gamble again…you just did…you are such a loser…what’s the use…you will never change.” …and so, I continue to gamble. I may not be able to pledge to a gamble-free life but, I’ve been down that road, and I don’t want to go down there again. So, I pledge to a gamble-free day in hopes of making it through another month gamble free! My prayer for us all!
This was not an easy month not to gamble. Is there such thing as an easy month not to gamble? Let’s just say, “This was a difficult month.” The last couple of days have been brutal. I had time and space to gamble, and that is what I wanted to do. What I didn’t have was access to money, and for that I am very grateful. I still wish that I could commit to the idea of never gambling again. Still, I am committed to recovery, and taking my recovery and my life one day at a time. I don’t count days. But, I love looking at one calendar month and knowing I did not gamble for that month. Thank you, Cat, for these monthly pledges. I had such intense urges to gamble yesterday and then again today. I kept thinking, “Just hold on…two more days and January will be gamble-free!” …and so it was, and for that I am counting my blessings. Tomorrow begins a new month, but also, it begins a new day. We always have a new day…a new day to be gamble free!
Welcome back. You have many gamble-free days! You know how to stop practicing the addiction and begin practicing recovery. You have done it before and you can do it again. Keep posting.
Izzi, I think of you often and hope you are doing well. We miss you. Vera, there is life after all of this…one breath at a time!
Izzi, I think of you often and hope you are doing well. We miss you. Vera, there is life after all of this…one breath at a time!
My husband and I switched from our bank to a Federal Credit Union. They offer benefits for clients over 55, like free checks and no monthly service fees. Having a new checking account also feels like a new beginning, wiping the slate clean. No more record of my ATM withdrawals for or at the casino. Seeing those statements was like a knife to my heart and, weirdly, made me want to gamble all the more. Also, it feels good to be working on this together. My husband has always been the major bread winner and has kept me out of the finances. Even when I told him about my losses, he just took care of it and we never discussed it. Of course, we both knew the damage being done to our marriage and our finances. My gambling was not the only reason our finances went south. I think as things got worse, I gambled more. Some crazy fantasy of being able to save the day. No more fantasies.
We also opened up a credit card account at the Credit Union and have transferred most of our credit card debt from other cards to that account. The interest rate for our new card is less than half of what it is with the other credit card companies.Welcome to GT! If it’s ok with you, I’d like to just call you Angel. You have asked some good questions and have searched your soul for some honest answers. Thank you for posting. It takes a lot of Self to delve in and ask ourselves these questions and then share them with others. I would like to write more, but my husband just called, and we are leaving town 4 hours earlier than he originally told me. Urgh! Keep posting. It will not only help you but others as well. Your post has already given me lots to think about and to ask myself. Take care. You are on the right path and moving in the right direction!
Thinking about you too, Carole. I have been through something very similar. I know the anxiety and stress you must be going through. Trying to do the best thing for your mom and also putting your life on hold as you tend to her needs. Take care of yourself as best you can, Carole, both physically and emotionally. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom.
I have written down all our debt…credit card, car, borrowed money, student loans, etc. January’s bills and all expenses. A tedious and daunting job. Well, we owe about $120,000, not including our house debt, which including the cottage is over $500,000. I am sharing this personal information because I truly believe that this year we can begin to turn things around and someday live a debt-free life! In order to do this, we can not continue to bury our heads in the sand. Knowledge is power and we must be honest about where we stand. I know we are earning less than what we spend because we regularly withdrawal from our IRA savings. Not a wise thing for people in their 50’s. So, we begin this year with the goal of NOT taking money out of this savings in 2014, and to begin paying off our debts one by one. I have a personal goal of NOT taking out any money from any ATM.
I am trying to keep a positive attitude about this and even believe we can enjoy the process. I tried unsuccessfully to have fun giving our money away. Now, instead of being the biggest part of our financial problems, it feels good to be part of working on some solutions. I cannot change the mistakes of my past, but I can begin to change the future by making good choices today. Instead of hiding behind my husband’s back and not taking responsibility for my spending, I am going to find ways to earn more and spend less. This I can also do…One Day at a Time!