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Ken, I do not know you personally, but I have read some of your posts on different sites. My prayers are with you and your family.
Hi Cat, Thank you for your post on my thread. Very encouraging. I think I will take you up on your suggestion. Right after I post, I am going to print out a calendar for the rest of the year. There are still 7 months left. I really want this, Cat. I know where I went wrong. I can use this to do whatever I can to not let it happen again. I think the calendar will keep me focused, and a way to give myself positive reinforcement. Speaking of…do the same for yourself. Give yourself some kind of reward for each box or something bigger for more than one. Maybe try to think of ways to make the job more appealing. When I clean or straighten, I like to listen to speeches on youtube. Usually something motivational. I like that I am taking time to listen to something worthwhile, humorous, educational, or just entertaining, and I am also getting something accomplished at the same time. Or, as Deb might do, listen to some foot stomping music! You already know how to be kind to others, and you know it more than most! Now, is the time to give it to yourself, Cat. I think this is very important, Cat. Not something you say you should do, but something you begin doing today. Maybe it’s a CG thing. Even when we are not gambling, we can still find things to beat ourselves up about. Try not to do it anymore, Cat. I think it will make a huge difference in the quality of your life.
Not trying to preach. Thinking of myself. Thinking of how I must try not to beat myself up. So difficult when I have messed things up so badly. These days will pass, and before I know it, I will have a calendar full of smiley faces and stickers and happy memories of many, many gamble-free days! You are right, Cat, I can do this.Hi Liz, Thank you for your encouraging post on my thread. I was away all weekend, so I wasn’t able to post or read any posts. I was so glad to read this morning that your daughter is no longer missing!!! I have also been thinking about your unconditional love for your daughter. But also how stressful and painful it is for you. You can’t help but want the best for someone you love so much. I can’t help but think about how hard all of this is on my husband. I don’t mean to hurt him. I would do anything for him, and yet this is what I do instead. He hasn’t talked to me all day. It is hard enough to have let myself down, but almost unbearable that I have let him down once again. I am so glad that your oldest daughter is doing well. For your sake and your grandson’s sake and most of all for her sake. Funny how relationships improve when you take addiction out of the equation.
Oh, Liz,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. You have been through so much and now this. I pray your daughter is safe and you will hear from her soon.P, thinking of you and sending you prayers. I have lots to do so I can’t write as much as I would like. You ask a very good question. One I ask myself. Why do I mess things up when I start to feel better, when things are going well? I know I need to ponder this in depth. But, I think for me, I still think I can have my cake and eat it too. When I start to feel better, I think that I can gamble and still have a good life, still feel good…function…etc. Why can’t I have this life and a little gambling, too? Unfortunately, it never works! I end up sabotaging my happiness.
Bettie and Carole are right. We are all here for you with nothing but compassion for everything you have gone through in the past and for all the pain it is bringing you in the present. Sending you my prayers, Lorraine. There are people who care no matter what.
That’s a very positive step, SJ. Good for you!
Hi Lizbeth, I for one love that you continue to post. Monday, I was going to post on the “what was good about my day.” and share my great mother’s day weekend. I saw that I was the last one to post, and also thought about everyone who was suffering that weekend because of gambling and then I didn’t post. I think it was similar to our mom thing. How I didn’t want to talk about how good my life was when she was clearly so miserable. This site is not judging me like my mother. I believe everyone wants to pick us up when we are down, but they also want to celebrate our successes. Because at the end of the day, we believe in recovery…we want recovery to win…and we are all in this together!
Hi Carole, thinking of you and your mom and what you are both going through. As you know, I have been in a similar situation. You and your mom are in my prayers. Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, take care of yourself, Carole.
…but you will recover, p. Just try to hang on. We all understand only too well those terrible feelings. It takes courage and strength to face the truth and then begin again.