[iamhere]

I wish I could give you a hug, and tell you everything is going to be ok. I just want you to know that. Xo

[iamhere]

Callmecrazy,

I am truly sorry that these things have all happened to you. I obviously don’t know you, but I want to support you, and encourage you, and be here for you.

The disappointment upon disappointment you feel has layered itself in your life. BUT- this doesn’t define you, this isn’t you, and I really hope you don’t allow these narratives to dictate your existence.

I’m sorry about your mom, I know it was traumatic for you, but what a gift you were able to give your mom. To be there for her when she needed someone the most. At the end of the day that’s what life is really about, everything else is just fluff and garbage.

I don’t know your age, but i am a 35 years old. Female as well. And I’d like to be here for you, and perhaps you could be here for me..

I think tutoring is great! Kids are the future. It takes one person to help change a kids life, and you’re helping do that. Which is amazing.

I also want you to know you are enough, you can overcome this, you deserve and deserved better. So let’s accomplish that. We both have better things to do with our lives.

Do you have any pets? Hobbies? What kind of work did you do in the corporate world?

[iamhere]

Well Callmecrazy,

Let’s start with day 1. I don’t think throwing your life away is the best plan. Is there nothing you want to see or do?

What brings on your anxiety ?? Have you tried meditation?

[iamhere]

Hi Kim74!

How are you doing?? I just thought I would check-in ?

[iamhere]

Callmecrazy,

Why not fill your time with something else, you know you have trauma. We all do, just different degrees. Why not focus on healing? Finding that inner peace?

I read some of your old posts. Do u still have property with your sister? Not all is lost. Perhaps if you join the fight you can quit for good too!!

Only way out it up. There’s a lot od stairs.. but I’m going to take each one!

Did you gamble today?

[iamhere]

Hi Callmecrazy!

Thanks for posting! I was starting to feel a little lonely on my journal page.

Reading that made me smirk, it definitely takes the edge off when you think of it that way. ??

As each day passes I feel grateful to be further away from my last bet. At times I find it so hard to align with that version of myself that just so whimsically threw away that money. So stupid.

How long have you been gamble free?

[iamhere]

Callmecrazy,

My heart ached reading this. I really hope you don’t do this. Your life Is worth living. ❤️

[iamhere]

Well hello world,

I’ve been keeping pretty strong and steady knowing this path I’m on. I’ve been doing well not feeding the habit, although the debt I’ve acquired from this makes it tempting to want to try to “win it back”. . Im smart enough to know that’s not going to happen. I’ll continue to starve this addiction till is no longer lives and ill be free of its sharp talons…

If this is the basement level, only way out is up, and I want that roof top view.

[iamhere]

Hi Kim74!

Darn, try not to beat yourself up. Being disappointed is important I find. Was this a site you normally gamble on? Self excluding is a necessity for sure. We have to keep those walls up High.

Maybe next time you get the urge to gamble, come here, and read some posts. It’s a good reminder to stay strong. ❤️

I hope today was better.

[iamhere]

Hi kim74!

How has your work been? What was the best thing about it?

Hard to belive this month is half over!!

Another day gamble free ?

[iamhere]

Hi treehead!

Is today day 2?

We all have a day 1 ?

[iamhere]

I find that my gambling comes in spurts. I find the gaps of time I can go between can be long, months really. But, it’s when I do gamble that the lack of control is very real. I’m just determined to go the distance this time, and when it even crosses my mind to just remind myself of the version I want to be.

I’d hate to do this any longer than i already have, and to waste any more time. To lose the moments that could be treasured memories with my family or even the financial relief I’d have. Gambling will take all my joy, the love, memories and time from me. . . And for what? It always ends in financial despair at some point.

Onwards – to another day ?

[iamhere]

Hmm I think it’s been about 2 ish 3 weeks? I haven’t been counting. I just know I won’t ever do it again. I think I hit a level of true disgust with myself, and complete disappointment. Everytime I even think about gambling I think of all the things I could have done with the money I wasted, and get even more disgusted. Absolutely wild, how gambling the money has no value, but in every day spending id hesitate to buy something I wanted because of the cost. Ridiculous.

Do you feel relieved telling them? It’s easy to gamble in the shadows. It’s a lonely addiction in the sense that no one could know.

Another day down for us both – gamble free!

[iamhere]

I’m glad you had a good day! It’s a good reminder that life has purpose.. and what gambling can take away.

Have you told your family about your gambling?

[iamhere]

HI kim74!

I have gamban on my devices. I feel like the amount of time it would take me to remove it .. I’d snap out of wanting to gamble. At least one roadblock placed. I’ve been making sure I just dont get bored and tbh not having the time to gamble has made it easier not to.. for now anyways.

How was your day?

[Author]

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