[iamhere]

Well, had a great day! Lots of fun in the sun. At home resting and I all of a sudden felt the urge to gamble. I thought about it really hard, “oh maybe I’ll just play the demo mode of my fav game”.. the itch was real. Then I decided to go to reddit and look up the sub I always read. Started reading some posts, someone wrote this in response to someone:

“Just realize all wins are future loses and more. Whenever u gamble u just give Ur money away, only the pace is unknown. Stop wasting Ur money, exclude and never come back. And remember u won’t win a penny. U will lose EVERYTHING u bet. Dunno, write a reminder for urself that u will lose EVERYTHING u bet, and read it as many times as needed, especially when urge arises.”

After reading this 5 times, and reminding myself I HATE the version of myself during and after gambling. Came on here, to write in my journal…now I’m going to go clean the kitchen.

F-off gambling, I’m over you.

K – bye for now!

• This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by iamhere.

[iamhere]

A whole month with out gambling. Feeling good about that. Onto the next.

Staying busy, continuing to focus on my goals, paying this debt off, and continuing to educate myself on my triggers and the effects gambling has on my brain!

It’s a lot easier when I stay busy and don’t have time to be “bored” to gamble. Every time I even think about the idea, my stomach turns. I think of all the stories I’ve read, I think of all the things the money I’ve wasted could have bought. I am repulsed by the idea of it, I hope this is the trend that sticks moving forward!

??

[iamhere]

Hi ?

Well I hope your fear is enough to keep you from gambling again. . Cause if not, I am sure they will find out, especially if they’re giving you the money to fund it. So, maybe that’ll be enough to curve the addiction for you. ❤️?

Ohhh those are some great ideas. How much are those things where you live – the backpack and glasses?

You’re so young, and this really is something you can beat. There are thousands of people who have beat their gambling addiction, we are capable of being one of those people too ?

[iamhere]

4 days is a great start. Keep going down this path and soon there will be many zeros behind that 4.

Congrats on your first job! Do you have a plan for the money you’ll be making?

[iamhere]

Hi Kim74!

Just me… checking in!
How have the online GA meetings been going?

Any big plans for the weekend?

I hope you’ve been staying strong ? ❤️

[iamhere]

Had another busy day at work, which is great. Grateful for my career.

I just finished reading this insanely tragic story on reddit about this man who lost 800k. His posts starts in 2021 and goes until 2023. With every post I read I felt sicker and sicker, I felt the devastation and my stomach turned thinking what this addiction can do. He lost his wife, his child, in so much debt.. I hope he’s ok wherever he is now on his journey. Just more motivation to never NEVER go back to this.

I’ve been doing well on not getting the urge to gamble..keeping busy. Working on being more conscious every day.

Saw this quote today:

You must let the pain visit
You must allow it to teach you
You must not allow it to overstay.

For me – the pain is the guilt and disappointment I have for my actions for getting into this 35k debt.
I am learning from my actions. I’m working on the conscious aspect of my brain, daily affirmations. Staying busy, getting educated.
BUT I’m not going to let the guilt/disappointment (pain) convince me to try and “win it back” or pretent this money didn’t matter.

Well, off to bed I go.

I hope whoever reads these words finds some strength in them.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by iamhere.

[iamhere]

Hi!

I hope you made it through the day not spenind any of your pay cheque gambling! We all know we won’t withdrawal even if we won money!

Have you ever gone to the reddit forums? There are a gazillion people on there posting daily. I read those stories on and off. I found some success stories which were encouraging. This forum seems to be busy then quiet..

Any plans for the weekend?

[iamhere]

Hi Kellie,

It’s been a few days since you’ve posted. How are you doing?

You went 3 years, this is but a small blip in your radar. Chin up, you know you can do this.

[iamhere]

❤️❤️

[iamhere]

Thought id pop on to leave a note. Seems pretty quiet on the forum over the last few days.? I hope everyone is doing well.

I’ve been doing my positive affirmations, my mindset I’m working on changing to never want to gamble again! I pretty much am working on killing that version of myself that has gambled senselessly. ?

Staying busy, went to the ocean today. Had an ice cream cone. Got sand in my toes. It was a nice day.

Tomorrow will be another good day… and so on. ❤️

[iamhere]

Hi callmecrazy,

It’s been over a day, I just wanted to check in. I’m thinking about you, hope you’re ok ❤️

[iamhere]

Hi vladagr,

Thanks for taking the time to write to me.
How has your recovery been so far?

I thought about those last few sentences you wrote all day. I totally agree, staying busy and having a laid out plan for the day is key.

Money is just money. I know I’ll have this paid off sooner than later, but that’s not the issue. So working on my time as well as working on reprogramming my mindset and trying to be more conscious with my day vs. Subconscious living!

What else have you learnt with treatment?

Thanks again ??

[iamhere]

Listen, being male or female has nothing to do with this.

We have trained our brain to literally crave a dopamine hit. To the point it gets us to gamble, even though we know it’s a bad idea.
Our brains are powerful and we live out lives 90% subconsciously! So it’s time we all wake up, take control – realize these facts and start re-programming our brains.

Tell your parents. Ask for help. Reach out to online GA meetings. Don’t let this be the beginning of a sad 30 year story – because it will… and you’ll come back to this moment and regret not doing this.

Reach out for help. Change your perspective. Start reading up, start being more conscious and your life will change. All of our lives will change.

I’m committed to this not being the story of my life. You can make that choice too.

[iamhere]

Hi!

I hope you’re doing ok. I read 90% of your posts. I don’t have a lot of advice, but what I can say is.. get a grip over this now while you’re in your early 20s.

Tell your parents, go to GA meetings- online or in person, get some help. Install gamban. Self exclude. There is no shame in asking for it. I promise you your parents are there to help you.

Join a gym- everytime you feel the urge go work out. OR go for a run!
This can and will ruin the rest of your life.
Make some hard decisions now.

Read up about how gambling changes the brain, and work on reprogramming it. Put the effort u do into gambling to work on yourself. Best investment!

[iamhere]

Hey,

What’s your dogs name? It’s tough when we lose pets, was your kitty older?

Sounds like you live on a farm, or at least some land. Why are u wanting to rehome them ?

Well, sounds like you’re pretty educated and knowledgeable. I feel like you could definitely get back into the corporate world.. if you wanted to. I mean, sounds soul sucking, but I am sure the pay is good. Your tutoring you’re doing, is that fulltime? Or just on the side?

You should pay for tennis lessons. Invest in something that will make you happy. You’re worth that.

I was reading today about positive affirmations and retraining the subconscious mind to retrain the brain to abstain from the urge/desire to gamble. I can’t believe that gambling has come into my life and has taken so much time from me. I don’t understand how I’ve gone back to it, knowing how disruptive and life crushing it is. I just know I can’t do it anymore.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by iamhere.

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