[iamhere]

The countdown is on!! A couple weeks to go!! That’s amazing.

[iamhere]

Ohh almost 100 days!!

Also I googled Ray Tracing – that is cool! I never would have thought about something like that!

You’re almost done your degree!! That’s so exciting.

When is the report due!?

??

[iamhere]

I’ve been chipping away at the debt I’ve accumulated during my last “binge” of gambling. Almost a year ago now!

I managed to get a chunk refunded by some third party merchants from those shady off shore casinos. The time I invested in looking up and investigating these casinos is what I believe has been a HUGE part of my success. I actually whole heartedly know.. I will never win, these casinos are rigged, and the idea of winning is just that – an idea! Not a reality, and it’ll NEVER be a tangible outcome!

I had just over 35 grand owing about a year ago, now I’m at about 17 grand owing!
Chipping away at it. ?

I’m looking forward to financial freedom. Freedom from debt and freedom from gambling. This grind and the struggle to succeed will be worth my glory! ❤️❤️?

[iamhere]

Treehead,

I started following this forum

https://casinoguru-en.com/forum/general-gambling-discussion/question-about-gambling-websites-with-curacao-license-using-incorrect-merchant-category-code/722

A few months back. I have read every single page. Not sure where youre located. This helped me recoup some money, as well as turned my stomach with how bad this addiction can be, and these ‘casinos’. Maybe it can help you too.

I’m rooting for you ❤️ each day you don’t gamble, is one day stronger.

[iamhere]

Hi Craig ?

How are you doing? Just thought id check in as it’s been a few days since your last journal ❤️

[iamhere]

Hi Courage,

There are still some people who pop on here and there. My understanding it was a lot more active some time back. .

How long have you been a gambling addict? What has your road of recovery looked like?

Here if you want to chat! ?

[iamhere]

Russia hey, that’s not as bad as I was thinking. I was thinking india! Couldn’t you find a job with your degree and apply for a working visa and move somewhere?

What kind of tournaments are you playing in.. where youre winning money? ??

What about being a tutor for helping ppl learn Russian?? I am sure there’s an online platform for that?? Maybe you just need to get creative!!

If you want out… if you want something you need to make it happen ❤️❤️

[iamhere]

Wowww!! That’s so exciting- what a huge accomplishment. I know you don’t see it as so, but you’re doing amazing. Over 40 days gamble free – and you’re graduating with a degree! What will your degree be?

You’re so young, I feel you put more pressure on yourself than you need to. Most students in university (here in canada) do not work during their program. Some do and a lot don’t. You not working seems to be due to lack of work available, not because you don’t want to work and make your own money!

Where do you live? In Canada, especially right now MOST young adults live with their parents, because they cannot afford to move out on their own. I have friend who is 34 and lives at home still!

You’re a student, living at home with the support of your parents. Sounds normal and okay to me. Don’t put soooo much pressure on yourself ❤️

Where would you want to go abroad for school ?? ?

[iamhere]

Hey!

Well I found one of the biggest things for me was figuring out the ‘purpose’ behind my gambling.

I had this belief that I could solve all my problems by ‘winning big’. Pay all the bills, not have to work etc.. while I was thick in the trenches of my addiction – I truly believed I would win, and this would all happen. Seems wildly insane now.

I remember many occasions never withdrawing money that I knew would have been helpful. I was always chasing the previous losses, or wanting more. No matter how much you win, it’ll never be enough. This was really hard to accept. I kept thinking id have ‘better control’ next time and withdraw. The brain will play tricks, and convince you what it needs to to get that hit of dopamine.

So tricks.. fill your time. Download gamban on your phone. Self exclude. Go to the gym. Pick up a hobby, make big goals.

I promise you, you will not regret quiting. You are at such a great age to nip this is the butt. Don’t be like me and waste 10 ish years chasing something that’ll never happen. So many moments, memories, and time gone, no amount of money can change that!

Figure out the “why”.. and then start working on that. Put the barriers up (gamban, self exclude). Pick up a second job, go to the gym, read a book..

I hope this ramble helps ❤️❤️

[iamhere]

Hey you!

Just wanted to check-in and see how you’re doing? ?

[iamhere]

Spring has sprung! Hard to believe it’s almost mid April! Life has been busy, it’s been good.

Going to the gym 4x/week, continuing my online class, my business is doing well, my little family is happy and I’ve been present for all the moments.

To think gambling was there to consume my time, poison my brain, and it filled my soul with constant despair and darkness.

I am enjoying this version of my life a lot more ❤️❤️

[iamhere]

Stitch – how have you been doing?

[iamhere]

Kathryn,

Reading your post has made smile. Life continues, and it sounds like you’re doing well ❤️.
I’m newer to this site and it’s been quiet for the majority of my time on it. I check in here and there. It’s nice to see a little more movement on here ❤️

[iamhere]

I remember many times when I’d say “I’m done” after a bad loss, I always felt “I just need time, next time I’ll know when to stop”. I remember this feeling and thinking thoughts like this almost after every bad bender of betting. I don’t know what finally clicked, but something did.

I know I’ll never walk away, no amount will be enough. There won’t be a “next time” or “one more bet”. When I think about gambling, my guts curdle, whatever made me feel invisible before is no longer apart of me. The house always wins, and I have bowed down in defeat, and I’m finally free ?

❤️❤️

• This reply was modified 10 months, 2 weeks ago by iamhere.

[iamhere]

Hi ? Spartanacc56.

22 years old, what a great age. You have more life ahead of you than you do behind you. Whatever gambling has taken from you, it’ll be very little in the big picture if you stop now.

I know that feeling you’re feeling, the emptiness, the despair and feeling lost. That’ll pass – i promise. Is today day 1?

Congrats on admiting to someone you have a gambling problem ?.

So what steps will you take to make sure you don’t relapse??

[Author]

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