[i won a new life]

One day at a time.

[i won a new life]

Thanks DJ, wish you all the best as well.

This time is different. I used to worry about when I was able to save money I would relapse go on a binge and blow it all, then feel so low again and have trouble coping.

Now I have a plan in place, once my debt is payed off I’m going to start saving money by locking it in investments where I won’t have access to it. No credit cards, one bank account with a minimal withdraw daily limit.

I have to outsmart compulsive me and learn from past mistakes.

[i won a new life]

One day at a time

[i won a new life]

Thanks IDI.

Feeling sick from gambling for such a long time, the only thing that was going to make it ok was a huge win.

Now I can just leave the past behind on day at a time.

[i won a new life]

Thanks for bringing me back to reality Vera.

No reason to continue this self destructive behaviour.

[i won a new life]

Really want to gamble bad today but I don’t need to.
Don’t need to bet, Don’t need to chase, Don’t need to win.

I still buy lottery tickets but only spend $10 a week. Gives me the sense of could still hit it big with minimal investment.

There’s a lot I want to do with my life, feeling behind the 8 ball.

[i won a new life]

One day at a time I’m taking back what is mine.

[i won a new life]

Freedom feels good been living in a false sense of reality for a long time. My future is much more clear now.

[i won a new life]

Barriers saved me today, the struggle is real. It feels good to have support from members of this group.

Heartbreaking when we slip. Honesty and facing this addiction head on will help us prevail to lives we deserve.

I’m trying to change my behaviour, getting the split personality feeling of not knowing who I am, there’s a devil on my shoulder.

When I look back long term the numbers are sickening on a graph would be straight down on a 45 degree angle with a few blips up once and while.

This has been going on for 10 years now maybe 3 of those 10 I remained gamble free and I remember how peaceful and normal my life felt. The answer is simple I don’t need to gamble.

It’s fun to share some chuckles even at the worst of times, keeping in mind the reality of how bad this could get if I let it consume me any longer.

Keep up the good fight.

[i won a new life]

This is my journal and guilt I don’t feel, if you choose to relapse that is your deal.

Out of the red in 2 weeks. Good things coming.

[i won a new life]

Day 4 and I don’t need to gamble, things are looking good.

[i won a new life]

Just wanted to let anyone know I have installed a free blocker on all my devices. It’s called Bet Blocker and it’s free and works good.

[i won a new life]

Thanks for your comment hambone, I agree and your right I can’t believe I have been living like that “in the fog”.

Having impulses and revolving thoughts all day. Fog is clearing and I don’t need to gamble, life is good.

[i won a new life]

You are right on all accounts of the juggling money, late bill payments and intrest payments, all do to gambling.

I am in a good frame of mind to get back on track and I’m going to dig in and hold on,  I have to at this point just to survive

it got out of control again and I don’t know why but the Christmas holidays and first few months of a new year seem to be a bad time for me based on my history.

I hope to learn from those expensive mistakes and I appreciate your comment of no judgement.

[i won a new life]

Well I’m going to start by being honest, I gambled today and it was a bad day.

I am in control of my finances and made the decision to do so but it is a disappointment.

I looked at the new look of GT and I have been a member for over 4 years now when back then I came here seeking help and support when I realized my gambling had become compulsive and was a problem.

The damage was minimal and I stopped and now I’m done.

I always seem to have the sneaky devil in the back of my mind waiting for me to say It’s ok to gamble you don’t have to tell the people at GT they will be disappointed in you and give up on helping not only that they don’t want to hear that.

Yes I was wrong I know what steps I can take to stop my gambling completely and I haven’t done that yet, In over four years I have had my ups and downs but wow what a better place I could be in life if I would have been more diligent in the beginning.

I don’t have much more to say this is just an honest post for my journal so I have something to look back on when I am in that “better place” in life that I’m trying to get to.

For new members reading my journal, barriers are the most important thing if you truly are done with gambling. Give up your access to money, your time or method.

[Author]

Posts