[I have to make a change]

So I’m at day 2 today of no gambling. Was very tempted when I finished work yesterday. The justifications started rolling around in my head… If I just go with $50 etc… But I didn’t.
Old habits die hard!
Hobbies to occupy my time? Not many… It is something I struggle with. However… I have never had any money spare for hobbies with my habit. Hoping that I can find some interest in things to occupy my time. Must do some research!

[I have to make a change]

Yes it is a living nightmare isn’t it! So much self loathing that happens when u have a blow out. While I haven’t gone and blown thousands in a night… I go and loose 2-3 hundred regularly. And if I’m down to my last 100 b4 payday then I justify how little I need to live off just so that I can go.
I know I can’t control it once I’m there… So the trick is not to go. At all. And it doesn’t bring me joy… It brings loneliness and boredom… Because as a result of flitting away my money… I’m bound to the house with little spare to socialise or for fuel to get out and about. And it is then this massive revolving circle… Because come pay day… I’m desperate to get out! I want off the merry go round.
Thanks for your kind words xxx

[I have to make a change]

So just wrote a long deep and meaningful… And it froze! I’m ok! Day 2 … Okay! Thanks Charles for your kind words… Will post later!

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