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Thank you Lizbeth and Kin for your posts .
Yes Kin it helps me to see gambling sneaking through a tiny open slit.

Today is day 3 of being completely gamble free.
There will be no opportunity to gamble today – my time is fully planned.

I am going on a small trip with some friends -so I am safe until tomororrow night . Twenty days until next payday – I can do this .
Strangely counting down the days until a target is met is much more motivating than counting gamble free days .

Onward and upwards

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Thank you for your post Kathryn

It’s really great that you are noticing the difference in your bank account – it must be so motivating to stay away from smoking

I have got through payday .
I filled the day and tonight I was tempted but I remembered I would spend about two hours getting around my barriers and then I would ruin Christmas .
I have my time planned for the weekend .
Tomorrow I will shop for my boots – I am not setting a limit on the price – I am going for something I love which is also comfortable .

My weight is creeping up so on Monday I am cutting out sweets n rubbish- next week I intend to get that neglected tooth crowned so I will have a full smile again.
Sorry fatcat if you had plans for my money !

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Vera – so sorry to hear this .
I will see u in group at 12 if you want .

It is the worse feeling – you are not a fool- you have an addiction and like me – you are maybe not doing everything you should to control it – but that is addiction- it sneaks in through the tiniest openings, it steamrolls over our plans , it squashes our dreams and it crushes us our bodies . It is just horrible .

That’s said , you will recover and you will feel a little better in a few days – you will stop eventually Vera , and you will rebuild your fund – but as we all know only too well we will never build anything through gambling . Gambling only demolishes ! It is a wrecking ball .

Be kind to yourself vera – you have done nothing worse than any of us on here – I am gutted for you but I know you are a survivor and I know you can get back into recovery – you know what works for you xx

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Thank you Jen
I think you are absolutely right – one cheque at a time makes so much more sense.
The pay is in – I am rich haha.
I love the feeling of not being destitute so why do I throw my money away each month?

I think for the first time I am starting understand what Charles means when he says plan your time.
It is the one thing I have never tried to address- so tonight I am visiting a friend and after that a family member.
Tomorrow I am out with friends.
Sunday I think I will plan a family movie night.

Week nights are harder – because I am tired after work – but what has worked for me before was going to bed at nine or half nine – this means I will have to let my GT support groups go but late at night is my worse time- when I seem to let my guard down.

Moneys gone , access is gone (I think) and now planning my time .

Looking
Forward to being healthier and wealthier .
Onwards and upwards

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Thank you AOD for taking the time to write this .
Some of it I already knew – I know I am a whale for example. I didn’t realise that those sites get paid so much for referrals.

I have found your post so helpful . I know that some sites pretend to have self banning options but when you click on it it simply does nothing .

I admire you for writing about your work- everything we read is helpful to us in the battle against this illness.

I hope you didn’t have a second date with such uncaring person. I hope you get a better job which pays you a fair wage .thank you for posting – it has been most helpful

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So I haven’t woken up rich – but I am grateful for my lovely little family. When I waken I am hit with so many reminders of how I have failed – from the chipping paint and tatty curtains in my bedroom , to the scratched bath and the general untidiness.
Still I am healthy , I hve work and I get paid tomorrow .

Onward and upwards

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lol Jen!
I am triggered right now – I am watching one of those real housewife things and I want to wake up rich tomorrow …??!

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Great thoughts everyone
I don’t believe I have any real triggers beyond my love of gambling – I simply love gambling – I love it so much that I have risked everything For it!

Is that too simple ?

I guess I have risked my health for chocolate and wine .
I could risk my driving licence for speed.

Maybe I just love taking risks – maybe boredom is a trigger – maybe I’m just reckless.
But if I could I would love to sit for the whole night in a casino or gamble online .

Yeah I best lock down those wages

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Hi Monica
Yes I share many triggers with you like the ads and the favourite slot images swirling round my head – but I seem to lack your determination to stay gamble free.

Recently I feel less worried about being put down- I seem to have built myself a nice support group at work and I also care less – I feel maybe my emotions have numbed somewhat . I also have less people putting me down and I can see now that their issues lie with themselves .
I love the way your colleague handled that and I will keep it in mind for when I need it .

Holding on to my pay ( at my current level of addiction)would be that same as winning a significant jackpot – I need to not gamble for three weeks til the next pay in .

And I know people will rush to say forget about three weeks – just for today …but that simply doesn’t motivate me .
I think I can do three weeks – I will have two full pays by Christmas .

I am also going to attempt to email Gamstop once again – but I expect to be ignored again – if they update my details it would be hugely helful – I can still gamble in my maiden name despite uploading several pieces of evidence to them . I feel that they should be held liable in some way for failing to do what I believe they are meant to do.

That’s about it – feeling strong and determined.
Can’t wait for Friday – payday!

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Happy Birthday Monica,
It sounds like you are having a lovely time .
I find myself very impressed that anyone would know how to make cauliflowers cheese soup !

Monica I think you have made a wise decision- six months of stability will only boost your recovery .
it is so motivating to read your thread and compare it to a year ago. Monica enjoy your special day – you have earned it. Xx

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Hi Jen
I’m not sure what is available where you live but we would have church groups and other organisations which could help like citizens advice. I hope you get sorted xx

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Hi Jen
Is Harrah’s a casino? Could u contact them and say you are addicted to gambling and have just started a recovery programme . Say you have no money to pay them and see if they are understanding? Failing that perhaps a charitable organisation might contact them in your behalf .

Sorry I can’t be of more help Jen.

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Marke that line “I can’t leave another mess” is profound and shows that despite this addiction and the horrible messes it gets us into, you are thinking of others .
Great poem.

[i-did-it]

Marke that line “I can’t leave another mess” is profound and shows that despite this addiction and the horrible messes it gets us into, you are thinking of others .
Great poem.

[i-did-it]

Marke cette ligne "Je ne peux pas laisser un autre gâchis" est profonde et montre que malgré cette dépendance et les horribles dégâts dans lesquels elle nous entraîne, vous pensez aux autres. Grand poème.

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