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Thank you Lizbeth and Kin for your posts .
Yes Kin it helps me to see gambling sneaking through a tiny open slit.

Today is day 3 of being completely gamble free.
There will be no opportunity to gamble today – my time is fully planned.

I am going on a small trip with some friends -so I am safe until tomororrow night . Twenty days until next payday – I can do this .
Strangely counting down the days until a target is met is much more motivating than counting gamble free days .

Onward and upwards

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Thank you for your post Kathryn

It’s really great that you are noticing the difference in your bank account – it must be so motivating to stay away from smoking

I have got through payday .
I filled the day and tonight I was tempted but I remembered I would spend about two hours getting around my barriers and then I would ruin Christmas .
I have my time planned for the weekend .
Tomorrow I will shop for my boots – I am not setting a limit on the price – I am going for something I love which is also comfortable .

My weight is creeping up so on Monday I am cutting out sweets n rubbish- next week I intend to get that neglected tooth crowned so I will have a full smile again.
Sorry fatcat if you had plans for my money !

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Vera – so sorry to hear this .
I will see u in group at 12 if you want .

It is the worse feeling – you are not a fool- you have an addiction and like me – you are maybe not doing everything you should to control it – but that is addiction- it sneaks in through the tiniest openings, it steamrolls over our plans , it squashes our dreams and it crushes us our bodies . It is just horrible .

That’s said , you will recover and you will feel a little better in a few days – you will stop eventually Vera , and you will rebuild your fund – but as we all know only too well we will never build anything through gambling . Gambling only demolishes ! It is a wrecking ball .

Be kind to yourself vera – you have done nothing worse than any of us on here – I am gutted for you but I know you are a survivor and I know you can get back into recovery – you know what works for you xx

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Thank you Jen
I think you are absolutely right – one cheque at a time makes so much more sense.
The pay is in – I am rich haha.
I love the feeling of not being destitute so why do I throw my money away each month?

I think for the first time I am starting understand what Charles means when he says plan your time.
It is the one thing I have never tried to address- so tonight I am visiting a friend and after that a family member.
Tomorrow I am out with friends.
Sunday I think I will plan a family movie night.

Week nights are harder – because I am tired after work – but what has worked for me before was going to bed at nine or half nine – this means I will have to let my GT support groups go but late at night is my worse time- when I seem to let my guard down.

Moneys gone , access is gone (I think) and now planning my time .

Looking
Forward to being healthier and wealthier .
Onwards and upwards

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Thank you AOD for taking the time to write this .
Some of it I already knew – I know I am a whale for example. I didn’t realise that those sites get paid so much for referrals.

I have found your post so helpful . I know that some sites pretend to have self banning options but when you click on it it simply does nothing .

I admire you for writing about your work- everything we read is helpful to us in the battle against this illness.

I hope you didn’t have a second date with such uncaring person. I hope you get a better job which pays you a fair wage .thank you for posting – it has been most helpful

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So I haven’t woken up rich – but I am grateful for my lovely little family. When I waken I am hit with so many reminders of how I have failed – from the chipping paint and tatty curtains in my bedroom , to the scratched bath and the general untidiness.
Still I am healthy , I hve work and I get paid tomorrow .

Onward and upwards

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lol Jen!
I am triggered right now – I am watching one of those real housewife things and I want to wake up rich tomorrow …??!

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Great thoughts everyone
I don’t believe I have any real triggers beyond my love of gambling – I simply love gambling – I love it so much that I have risked everything For it!

Is that too simple ?

I guess I have risked my health for chocolate and wine .
I could risk my driving licence for speed.

Maybe I just love taking risks – maybe boredom is a trigger – maybe I’m just reckless.
But if I could I would love to sit for the whole night in a casino or gamble online .

Yeah I best lock down those wages

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Hi Monica
Yes I share many triggers with you like the ads and the favourite slot images swirling round my head – but I seem to lack your determination to stay gamble free.

Recently I feel less worried about being put down- I seem to have built myself a nice support group at work and I also care less – I feel maybe my emotions have numbed somewhat . I also have less people putting me down and I can see now that their issues lie with themselves .
I love the way your colleague handled that and I will keep it in mind for when I need it .

Holding on to my pay ( at my current level of addiction)would be that same as winning a significant jackpot – I need to not gamble for three weeks til the next pay in .

And I know people will rush to say forget about three weeks – just for today …but that simply doesn’t motivate me .
I think I can do three weeks – I will have two full pays by Christmas .

I am also going to attempt to email Gamstop once again – but I expect to be ignored again – if they update my details it would be hugely helful – I can still gamble in my maiden name despite uploading several pieces of evidence to them . I feel that they should be held liable in some way for failing to do what I believe they are meant to do.

That’s about it – feeling strong and determined.
Can’t wait for Friday – payday!

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Happy Birthday Monica,
It sounds like you are having a lovely time .
I find myself very impressed that anyone would know how to make cauliflowers cheese soup !

Monica I think you have made a wise decision- six months of stability will only boost your recovery .
it is so motivating to read your thread and compare it to a year ago. Monica enjoy your special day – you have earned it. Xx

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Hi Jen
I’m not sure what is available where you live but we would have church groups and other organisations which could help like citizens advice. I hope you get sorted xx

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Hi Jen
Is Harrah’s a casino? Could u contact them and say you are addicted to gambling and have just started a recovery programme . Say you have no money to pay them and see if they are understanding? Failing that perhaps a charitable organisation might contact them in your behalf .

Sorry I can’t be of more help Jen.

[i-did-it]

Segna che la frase "Non posso lasciare un altro pasticcio" è profonda e mostra che nonostante questa dipendenza e gli orribili pasticci in cui ci mette, stai pensando agli altri. Grande poesia.

[i-did-it]

Tandai bahwa baris "Saya tidak bisa meninggalkan kekacauan lain" sangat dalam dan menunjukkan bahwa terlepas dari kecanduan ini dan kekacauan mengerikan yang kita alami, Anda memikirkan orang lain . Puisi yang bagus.

[i-did-it]

Zaznacz, że wiersz „Nie mogę zostawić kolejnego bałaganu” jest głęboki i pokazuje, że pomimo tego uzależnienia i okropnego bałaganu, w który nas wpędza, myślisz o innych. Wielki wiersz.

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