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Aw Jen , that’s so lovely to see your son perform .
You are right – gambling has taken more from us than money. I remember one time being on a high (I had managed to withdraw !!) and asking my son’s teacher if it would be ok to take him out of school for a day as we were going to see the country they were studying in class (it made sense to me at the time ). Next day the money was gone again ! There have been too many similar broken promises
I grew up with similar broken promises and I especially remember the gold ring I was getting with the engraving on it changing into a cheap plastic one – I knew something wasn’t right but I never said a word. I remember feeling disappointed – I still wonder about my special gold ring for we were many and I wasn’t often special . I would never have even thought of asking for a ring – I now realise it was almost certainly a promise made after a win. I was 6.

OMG the things we remember. Not sure where that all came from.

Well done – enjoy every moment – we all deserve a gamble free life .

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Seven days until payday – had some one off expenses this month such as tv licence – in the past it would have really annoyed me that they came out of my bank in December – this month it is just another bill and it doesn’t really matter when it comes out .

I have had thoughts about bingo but no strong urges – in fact my brain feels pretty normal right now.
I have applied for a new job on a much higher salary – I am glad I took the step to apply but won’t be too disappointed if I don’t get called for interview .

Life is pretty good overall – if a little bit of money in the bank can give you this level of security – I can just imagine what it must be like to have substantial savings. I intend to experience this one day but first there is so much I want to buy- lol!

Onwards and upwards !!

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Charles , that is a great idea – I have just realised that I used to do that a lot – just because I can’t be bothered with ads , but that function doesn’t seem to working on my tv currently – it may be the control- I will have to put time into getting it sorted out .

8 days until payday – the urges are susiding – in fact my mind seems to have changed completely about gambling – it’s like I have finally accepted it is not the answer to anything . Holding on to my wages is a risk free way of increasing my wealth , health and happiness !

Onwards and upwards

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Jen. It is every day although the times change .
On Mondays and Thursdays there are groups with a staff member . These used to be a lot more often but volunteers have left . Chat to you soon !

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Hi st Jude
Those are very positive steps you have taken – well done!
– is there anyway you can safeguard your money before Friday? Can u get someone else to hold your card perhaps and give you money as you need it?

I find barriers really helpful when my will power is weak .
Keep strong .

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Hi gamanon
That was a great chat we had !
In truth all of us on here love to gamble – it just causes such problems for us life is easier when we don’t .
Problems include anxiety, shame , self loathing , debt , regret , selfishness , dishonesty , an inability to focus – the list is endless .
Of course I would love to return to controlled gambling but even if this is possible for me I simply do not want to suffer any more pain while I learn to .
I guess we all have choices – I want wake up every morning feeling like I have a life worth living. Being gamble free allows me to do this !

Perhaps if could stop for a short while it would help you decide with a clearer head .

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Thank you Jen ,
I replied on your thread !

Tonight I feel small urges to gamble – I am starting to realise that unless I banish them straight away they will grow – I think it was Monica who gave me this advice .

Tonight the urges are triggered by ads on tv- they really know which spinning reels to show!

On the bright side any friends husband is organising a surprise party for her – I can actually afford to take her out while he prepares – in the past I would have arrived late and stayed a short time – it’s these little things that make life better .

I also have visited my elderly friend quite a few times recently – she is so happy to see me as she can be quite lonely – I cannot believe how selfish gambling made me – I have neglected our friendship or begrudgingly given of my time .

My sister rang tonight and she is having quite serious health problems – I am worried about her but she lives too far away for me to help her . She is my best friend and always has been.

I am so busy right now – but somehow I seem to thrive on it .
I am too busy to gamble – that is for sure !
I have made decisions over the years and stopped doing things I did out of a sense of duty but which I find a drain, for example, I have not posted a Christmas card in about twenty years lol! As I get older I cut out more stuff which gives me space to take on new things.

So a gamble free life which has become too busy to gamble !
That’s sounds ok!

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Monica
It is so long since I had anything but the cheapest – this year I might get good quality crackers too! It sounds like your Christmas is going to be lovely !
You appear to be really happy Monica – it is working out having your son live with you !-

Hope your son enjoys Dublin ! It is a great city !
Xx

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Jen the groups are on in Irish and British time .
( Greenwich).
I am not sure how that corresponds to your time- I usually try todo the 10pm one .
It would be so good if you could make it.

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Nine days until payday!
The finances aren’t as healthy as I had hoped but still ok – something came out which I hadn’t expected for another few days. I like seeing big sums in there – I find it motivating.
Having said that next week there will be four months of savings in my savings account.

Most of my outgoings are debt repayments and have been for quite sometime – this is something I need to get in hand- I have decided to do a cheap upgrade in my kitchen because I simply cannot afford all I want to do . On the bright side I will be able to do this very soon and it will bring my home up to an acceptable standard .

I have this idea when there is money in the bank that I am rich – I think it is after living without money for so long . I still neeed to do a full inventory of my debts etc and perhaps come to an arrangement to pay them off quicker .

That’s about it – life is pretty good !

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Hi Chris
Welcome to the site – I sense that you are relay upset about losing £500 and I understand this -‘gambling is a progressive disease and the losses only get bigger so well done on seeking help at this stage .

There are support groups on here also – perhaps
Setting up barriers like internet blockers will help you not to gamble ?

Every time we throw out money to the “fatcat” casinos we deprive ourselves dog things we could be enjoying .

Keep posting – you can stop this now ! If you think about it $500 would have bought a lot of entertainment so you don’t have to be bored – sometimes our addiction causes us to not spend money on normal things but then blow huge sums on gambling .
One of my strategies is to always treat myself to something which I consider frivolous – even a magazine – just to get used to spending money on normal thins and on me .

Hope to see you on here lots.

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Hi St Jude
You are certainly not doomed to anything – you are taking the right steps to recovery by seeking help .

Can you cut off access to gambling for now? If it is online gambling , would you consider putting blockers on your internet devices like Betfilter or close down all access to gambling on your phone by installing k9 and cutting off all other browsers ?

If you gamble in land casinos, could you get yourself banned from the premises ?

The fact you chose St Jude as a name shows that you have faith in God’s ability to restore your life . Once you stop gambling you will be amazed how quickly things start to look better .

There is a community here rooting for you and I think t would be fantastic if you decided firmly in your mind to go to GA. it took me years to understand that not gambling is as much about mindset as anything else – although I found barriers invaluable in giving me some breathing space .

Well done on joining this site – I hope to meet you in the chat groups soon.

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We are so alike Jen- I don’t take a wine – I take two bottles.
I die the next day but binge eating can make it bearable .

At the moment I cannot stop eating – I have Just finished a family pack of crisps and a bar of chocolate and I was a little annoyed cos my dog begged a load of my crisps lol.

On the bright side I can afford really yummy stuff to binge eat haha.

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Yes Vera – it is all about mindset – but I found that I had to get some gamble free time before I could get into the mindset.
I guess that’s where barriers helped .
Right now I am wondering why I ever gambled and I am so pleased that you are also gamble free – we deserve to be !

Something strange is happening with me – something unbearably painful which happened almost a decade ago has returned – well the pain has returned – it feels like a weight on my chest – I can’t bear to think about it – I feel I need take a week off life and just cry !

Laura has posted lots of links about withdrawal- if read this Laura I would appreciate if you could repost some of those links below .

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Hi Monica
I feel you are strong and insightful to have such a firm discussion with your son and to assert your right to have a home free from anger . Your son is very good, and I hope his visit to the doctor helps him .
I dont quite know how I could go about sorting out issues in my own home.

Do you feel you are enabling your sister by providing money ? £30 seems a bit extreme for crackers – but perhaps I am out of touch .

I watched the documentary too and I couldn’t believe how those people were sucked in – which I found strange as I have been just a gullible for so long. Stopping has been a real struggle and yet today I am wondering why I found it so difficult.

Louis walked away – I couldn’t t while the casino was still open. !

Hope the rest of your week goes well.

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